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CPG, this is the best post of this thread. Wish I could give you more rep points. This post and your other post about waiting for someone who is 100lbs overweight to say "Physical attractiveness is not important..." had me laughing out loud.
Ive been married to my wife now for a few years and have my first child (now three months but wife also has a 13 year old). I will never ever ever ever "Let Myself Go". My physical fitness and health is much too important for me to let that happen. Im happy that my wife feels the same way I do. She's quite a bit more harsh when it comes to people who let themselves go for whatever reason. She cried her eyes out when she saw pictures of her cousin from back home (Moscow) who let herself go after years of marriage and having a daughter (now 17). Cousin was a former prima ballerina for one of the top Russian ballets. The mods wont let me post what my wife actually said, but lets put it this way, once my wife had a talking with her she started working out has lost over 50lbs 60lbs (shes now about 135lbs).
My wife and I have an agreement that we will ALWAYS call the other person out on it if/when they start to get fat. We do this in a not very nice manner but it helps.
Sounds like the OP has spent the last 14 years taking care of kids and family. She sounds like a happy and confident woman and she specifically stated she feels it time to start taking better care of herself. I don't think she is being superficial, she just wants to get herself back to feeling better and healthier, nothing wrong with that.
Anyone want to help her or support her or should we just bicker back and forth about inner and outer feelings?
I have definitely let myself go since getting married (we don't have kids yet). Not weight-wise, but in other ways. For instance, before we got married, and all my life before that (starting in high school), I wore makeup every day. Not a lot of makeup, but the basics. A year or so after we were married I stopped wearing makeup daily. Now I only wear it if we go out. The reasons are several. One is that as I get older, I look worse in general, so I don't see the point of putting in the effort to wear makeup when I won't look good anyway. Also, makeup looks worse on me the older I get--concealer, for instance, collects in the lines around my eyes.
Another way I've let myself go is clothing. A year or so after we got married, I stopped making an effort to dress nice. I used to love fashion and always try to look nice, but I just kind of let that slide. Now I'll just put on any raggedy old thing, instead of making an effort to coordinate a fashionable outfit.
My hairstyle is another way I've let myself go. Before I got married, I would do my hair and make sure it was cut and styled regularly. Now, I get my hair cut about twice a year, and it ususally doesn't look very good. I just wash it and let it air dry, instead of the way I used to blow it dry and then style it. I just don't care anymore.
Weight-wise, I've always been slim, and this hasn't changed since getting married. If anything, I'm eating less crap now than I was when I was single. When I was single, I would cook and bake nearly every day, and eat all the cookies or cupcakes myself. I was at my heaviest when I met DH, actually because of all my baking. Since we've gotten married, for whatever reason, my desire to cook and bake has gone out the window. I never buy junk food, and so we eat pretty healthy, though I don't cook much (we do Subway a lot).
I did for a few years. After my fifth child was old enough that I could make time for working out I got back into really good shape. For the first time in years guys were whistling at me when I went places. I have to admit, it felt good!
DH has let himself go. He complains about being out of shape and needing to exercise, but when it comes down to making the choice between working out and playing computer games, he goes for the games. I love to work out and do it whenever I can.
I have definitely let myself go since getting married (we don't have kids yet). Not weight-wise, but in other ways. For instance, before we got married, and all my life before that (starting in high school), I wore makeup every day. Not a lot of makeup, but the basics. A year or so after we were married I stopped wearing makeup daily. Now I only wear it if we go out. The reasons are several. One is that as I get older, I look worse in general, so I don't see the point of putting in the effort to wear makeup when I won't look good anyway. Also, makeup looks worse on me the older I get--concealer, for instance, collects in the lines around my eyes.
Another way I've let myself go is clothing. A year or so after we got married, I stopped making an effort to dress nice. I used to love fashion and always try to look nice, but I just kind of let that slide. Now I'll just put on any raggedy old thing, instead of making an effort to coordinate a fashionable outfit.
My hairstyle is another way I've let myself go. Before I got married, I would do my hair and make sure it was cut and styled regularly. Now, I get my hair cut about twice a year, and it ususally doesn't look very good. I just wash it and let it air dry, instead of the way I used to blow it dry and then style it. I just don't care anymore.
Weight-wise, I've always been slim, and this hasn't changed since getting married. If anything, I'm eating less crap now than I was when I was single. When I was single, I would cook and bake nearly every day, and eat all the cookies or cupcakes myself. I was at my heaviest when I met DH, actually because of all my baking. Since we've gotten married, for whatever reason, my desire to cook and bake has gone out the window. I never buy junk food, and so we eat pretty healthy, though I don't cook much (we do Subway a lot).
Based on everything you've said, I think you're depressed...
Location: Moved to town. Miss 'my' woods and critters.
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Letting Go?
I cannot say that I ever 'let myself go'. It was never a conscious effort to gain weight. Many medical problems contributed to my weight gain over the years. And I never saw it coming. Depression and stress did play a big role in my appearance sliding and my health deteriorating over a few years. No excuses, just the facts. Hair and makeup were okay. Wore appropriate clothes. But I was 'fat'. Took a good look at myself one day and decided something had to change. My attitude, me. Lost the weight, looked and felt so much better.
Then the cycle started all over again. Knees went, arthritis in spine, elbows, knees, feet, hips, and everywhere. Diabetic, type 2, heart problems. Now have a pacemaker. Other 'problems' also. Because of the excess weight? Hereditary? Life style?. Whatever the causes, gee, do you think maybe I made some bad decisions all on my own? I knew I must make a supreme effort to take better care of this body and mind that I was given. Have lost 70 pounds. Still have the bad knees, etc. However, in many ways I do feel better. My husband has always been my biggest supporter and never once criticized me or made me to feel less of myself.
i am much healthier and fit since divorce (14 years ago)
b4 marriage my kid brother was very very fit.
he is 14 years my jr with 3 kids he looks older than me.
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Letting Go?
