How long does it take to get over somebody special? (guys, love)

[artsyguy]

It takes a day or two to get over somebody special....however you will need lots of bacardi and chocolate cake ...

[old_cold]

Him you may be over.....what you might not be over is yourself for having let him string you along all that extra time.
Forgive yourself,promise to be nicer to yourself from now on and you might find it quicker

[K-Luv]

For me it depends. If I end the relationship then it could take anywhere from a few seconds to a few weeks; depending on my reasons and the situation as a whole. If I am the one who ends up being dumped, especially if it was out of the blue, then it might take me a couple of months, although I am fully functional after a couple of weeks.

Originally Posted by mrshvo

sometimes you never get over it. There's no rule you have to. You may go on, and love someone else, but there may be a spot in your heart for the rest of your life for this person.

There is a diference between having a special place in your heart and remembering someone then with holding on and dwelling in the past. If the memories and feelings no longer interfere with your daily life in a negative way, then you are over that person or situation.

[wclac]

When I was in high school, it took me forever to get over the girl (who turned out to be a lying skank). I just had to move on. I could find another girl who was perfect for me.

[Crew Chief]

I'm 53 years old. I STILL remember Sue L. from junior high. First girl I ever went steady with. She left me for a guy named "Delbert"! But I made out OK, married a wonderful woman some 17 years later!

[dragon_fly_12]

I was absolutely head of heals for the guy I met not long after high school. We had awesome chemsitry and really had a lot of fun in the beginning. It was a doomed relationship and it ended badly.

I stayed single for 3 years afterward. Sure, I dated a little and had some good times, but I did not commit to anyone. During that time, I was able to really objectively look at the relationship, determine the person he was vs who I was, AND acknowledge the part I played in the doomed relationship. It was a long, slow process, but it needed to happen. He was on my mind for so long after we split, practically every single day. Eventually, I realized that I didn't hurt inside so much when I thought about him. Then, eventually, I realized I wasn't thinking about him quite as often. After that, I became aware that I only thought about him when I remembered to think about him. I was able to let go of him emotionally, despite still sort of caring for him, and was then able to move on. Now, 7 yrs later, he is just a person that helped shape who I am today that I did have some good memories with. That is it. I have forgiven him for his wrong doings, but more importantly, I have forgiven myself for the role I also played.

Best to you!

[driftwoodpoint]

I dated a guy in college and I broke up during the summer since I was worried because he had never dated anyone else. Seems strange now but I was worried he wouldn't have any other relationship to compare it to. I planned on getting back together in the fall. When fall came we went out some but then he called it off. I was devastated!!! I never knew the meaning of "pining" for someone but I did for a year. I would go to the dining hall and sit for an hour just to watch him walk in...I had it bad! It's been 40 years and I still wonder how he is...oh not all the time but once a year or so I wonder...good old Max
He went through some strange years I heard and then almost was elected mayor of Austin, TX

[esya]

My rule of thumb has always been two for one, twice as long to get over a serious relationship as it did to get into it.

[RelBrkUps]

Hi everyone!

I'm really interested in this discussion of how long / what occurs after a breakup/divorce. Some people say that it takes about a year, although that doesn't mean everything fades or goes away after that time, just that by then maybe moving on is possible? Actually, this conversation is related to a project I'm doing. I'm a graduate student at Stony Brook University and I'm conducting an online relationship survey about breakups and divorce for my dissertation, and I could really use your help, if you are interested and willing.

My work involves learning about the full range of people's responses following the end of a significant romantic relationship -- meaning I'm interested the difficulties folks experience but also any positive changes that result form this challenging life experience (such as building a new family after a breakup/divorce, pursuing new goals, experiencing improved subsequent relationships, a greater sense of confidence, etc.). Anecdotally we may have the hunch that many people have experienced these positive changes, but we don't seem to know much about this topic in detail or scientifically, which could help others experience these positive changes too.

People who have participated in the project so far say they enjoy thinking about these experiences and sharing them, and they appreciate the anonymous, free, personalized feedback they have the option of receiving immediately upon completion of the approx. 30 minute online survey. I'll be working on this project probably through the wintertime, so any help in learning about many real people's experiences would be so wonderful!

The web address of my survey is: Relationship Breakup Survey (http://www.courses.rochester.edu/surveys/funk/relbreakup/ - broken link)
There there is a greater description of the project and a link to the survey pages.

Thank you in advance for your interest, help, and support!

[lola8822]

I thought I was in love once.....like, really really thought I was in love and it fell apart (my fault). I was heart broken for a while, well like 6 months or so.....but after that first brutal 6 months it steadily got easier and easier and easier until now.....totally over it.......okay well not "totally" but i would say 95% over it.