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Hi everyone, I am new to this website and was reading some of the topics regarding older women younger men. Why is it ok for an older man to have a younger woman but, it's not as excepted for the older woman to have the younger man? I am in this situation and I see things in a whole new perspective. My boyfriend is 20yrs younger than myself. Met his mom, dad and few relatives. His parents are the only one's who know the age difference and they love me. The aunts know i'm older but, they don't think I am much older than him. They like me. My parents on the other hand are going to flip out when I tell them we are together and have been together for about 16 months now. And he might be moving in with me. They have never met him. They know of him but, not in detail. They know he's much younger. But, I don't devuldge any information to them so they probably don't think he's around. Our situation is VERY complicated because of how we met. Again, it's "taboo". Why is this? Can we love someone without being judged for who we love? If it's meant to be it's gonna be, if it's not then we pick ourselves up by the boot straps and keep going on. This is very stressful and causes much turmoil within me. He's had a rough life but, has come a long way to make himself a better person. Has anyone got any advice? Been there done that, maybe?
Thanks
Our situation is VERY complicated because of how we met. Again, it's "taboo".
So how did the two of you meet? How long have you been together? And how old are the two of you?
Otherwise, I don't consider my relationship with my boyfriend taboo, and we have a 23 year age gap. We've lived together for five years. And I don't don't consider myself a "cougar" because I've always treated him with respect and just like any serious boyfriend I've ever had. And I when I first met him, I wasn't looking for twenty-something year old men to date. It just happened.
Well, I do have a lot of experience with age difference but in the opposite direction. That's not the point here, though. The point is you either allow other people to direct your life or at least feel guilty when you do something potentially against their wishes.
As much as we love and respect our parents, we have our own lives to live and our own mistakes to make. I've gotta admit that as I'm getting older and see how somebody is headed for a train wreck I also feel this impulsive need to stop them and give them advice. However, I know from plenty of personal experience that nobody wants to hear about it or will welcome and/or take my advice.
There is an Arabic (I think) poem that roughly translates to this: Children come through you, but they're not yours! In other words, you shouldn't be possessive of your children and try to control their lives. My mother was a very wise woman in this respect. She told me since very early age she wasn't going to interfere in any major decisions in my life (education, career path, marriage, etc.) and she didn't. Perhaps she realized she couldn't... Some may call her irresponsible... but that's how it was. It's not like she didn't attempt to raise me right or instill good (in her opinion) values in me. She just didn't want me to turn around and regret my life and blame her for steering me in a wrong direction. Sooo... I'm responsible for all the decisions in my life. It didn't turn out great, but it's my life... Of course, it kind of sucks having nobody else to blame for them. Granted, there are plenty of circumstances to take the blame for those choices of mine, but not people.
Since your boyfriend is 20 years younger than you, I take it you're at least 40. I think it's high time for you to make your own decisions and take responsibility for them.
Do you have any kids? Are they his age or older? How old are the two of you? If he's 18 and youre 38 then "You Go Girl" but be advised that he WILL leave you for a younger hotter 21 year old very soon. So you should just enjoy your fun right now while it lasts.
There is no taboo on "older woman/younger man" relationships unless you live in some backwoods religious crazy place in Texas. The reason its rare is because no man really wants to be with an old woman if he can easily have a younger woman. Actually, now that I think of it, it IS kinda creepy. Im thinking of Linda Hogan dating a guy who went to school with her daughter. She's turned into a skank and her children (especially her daugher) want nothing at all to do with her anymore.
To be honest I always thought it was very creepy for an older man to be with a younger woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RLoveIsTaboo
Hi everyone, I am new to this website and was reading some of the topics regarding older women younger men. Why is it ok for an older man to have a younger woman but, it's not as excepted for the older woman to have the younger man? I am in this situation and I see things in a whole new perspective. My boyfriend is 20yrs younger than myself. Met his mom, dad and few relatives. His parents are the only one's who know the age difference and they love me. The aunts know i'm older but, they don't think I am much older than him. They like me. My parents on the other hand are going to flip out when I tell them we are together and have been together for about 16 months now. And he might be moving in with me. They have never met him. They know of him but, not in detail. They know he's much younger. But, I don't devuldge any information to them so they probably don't think he's around. Our situation is VERY complicated because of how we met. Again, it's "taboo". Why is this? Can we love someone without being judged for who we love? If it's meant to be it's gonna be, if it's not then we pick ourselves up by the boot straps and keep going on. This is very stressful and causes much turmoil within me. He's had a rough life but, has come a long way to make himself a better person. Has anyone got any advice? Been there done that, maybe?
Thanks
Im thinking of Linda Hogan dating a guy who went to school with her daughter. She's turned into a skank and her children (especially her daugher) want nothing at all to do with her anymore.
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Some may call her irresponsible... but that's how it was. It's not like she didn't attempt to raise me right or instill good (in her opinion) values in me. She just didn't want me to turn around and regret my life and blame her for steering me in a wrong direction. Sooo... I'm responsible for all the decisions in my life. It didn't turn out great, but it's my life... Of course, it kind of sucks having nobody else to blame for them. Granted, there are plenty of circumstances to take the blame for those choices of mine, but not people.
