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I dated a woman who, on the first date, said, "I think you're smarter than me, and that really bothers me."
So it cuts both way.
I too have caught flak from a woman for my being 'too intelligent'--------never mind that said woman liked flagrant losers (sporadically employed, etc)
No one ever wants to be the "lesser" in a relationship. If you can do something better than your partner, even if they find it hot at the beginning, it'll soon grate on them.
Definite "NO" on the dumbing down...but I'll admit as a guy that I find myself intimidated by strong, successful women who have it together! I'd like to eventually find a girl like that, assuming she isn't too arrogant...confidence and cockiness are two very different things.
I don't really see the point to dumb myself down. If the only way to get a guy to continue to date me is to pretend that I am not as smart as I am, then he definitely would not be the guy for me.
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"Moldy Tater Gangrene, even before Moscow Marge."
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Location: Dallas, TX
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If you don't want to "dumb yourself down", then
1)Get the hell away from places where intelligence is not glorified...especially scenes closely associated with alcohol, macho activities, materialism / "great" consumer goods", and fashion (I may sound like a snob, but if I do, then so be it)
2)Find a special interest club devoted to a "high-iq" subject matter (read "nerdy", if it helps you) that you're genuinely interested in... My favorite is the local astronomy club. You may like the local art museum (although if you're in a huge city like Dallas, they have literally thousands of people on any 'arts night' - not exactly the most easy-to-meet-and-greet environment if you're a reserved person).
As for other traits - allow me to go beyond romance and talk about any kind of relationship - even basic simple friendships between, say, straight people of the same gender (aka, basic simple run of the mill friendship).
Confidence and energy, while admirable, I consider overrated - for confidence and energy, no matter how appealing on a personal or sexual level, say NOTHING about the overall quality of the person. I place emphasis on openmindedeness to highly controversial and unpopular viewpoints, tolerance of the same, compassion, and general lovingkindness (these traits trump even intelligence in my book, for the same reasons confidence and energy take second or third chair to the traits I emphasize).
Just remember, no matter how intelligent, confident, and energetic a person is - there's nothing to keep such a person from being a despicable, cruel, rude, sarcastic ********* (and thus unworthy of your long-run trust and respect - not to mention your willingness to be open and vulnerable to them).
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My ego is so big I'm hardly ever intimidated by other people.
