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I am dating a girl who is currently in medical school. Right now she studies around 14 hours a day...
Sometimes the only time we have together is sitting there together studying/reading. I am fine with busy for now, it gives me the freedom to do all the stuff I want to do. If I ever get married and have a family though, that takes #1 priority.
I think you have to make rules. We have one night every week where we are not allowed to work/be with friends/etc from 8:00pm on. As long as we get that, we can't complain about the other person being too busy.
I am dating a girl who is currently in medical school. Right now she studies around 14 hours a day...
Sometimes the only time we have together is sitting there together studying/reading. I am fine with busy for now, it gives me the freedom to do all the stuff I want to do. If I ever get married and have a family though, that takes #1 priority.
I think you have to make rules. We have one night every week where we are not allowed to work/be with friends/etc from 8:00pm on. As long as we get that, we can't complain about the other person being too busy.
This is an excellent approach. You don't feel neglected and she doesn't feel like she's giving up too much for you. But like you said, it should be temporary. Her schedule will get worse when she becomes a resident, but if she continues to set aside time for you, then that shows she values you and the relationship. If she can't make time for you, then she should let you move on. It's unfair to you to continue waiting indefinitely.
This is an excellent approach. You don't feel neglected and she doesn't feel like she's giving up too much for you. But like you said, it should be temporary. Her schedule will get worse when she becomes a resident, but if she continues to set aside time for you, then that shows she values you and the relationship. If she can't make time for you, then she should let you move on. It's unfair to you to continue waiting indefinitely.
exactly...until residency is over there is only so much free time to give, but in the meantime it is motivating me to get a graduate degree, exercise more, put in some extra time at work, etc. It is often too easy to focus on the negative.
weird. If they are busy then you can barely form a quality relationship. Then again most men and a lot of women know nothing about that. Just look at the failed institution of marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoRon
I prefer the busy type. I like that because I know they will be to busy to want to be together all of the time....Yippie!
for many the expectation is somebody that will orbit around them. that is the need and yearning of the narcisst----- the yearning of the echo is to do that orbiting.
normal relations mean life overlap with no individual being the center of attention but some shared experience yet each keeping their own identity and life intact.
Yes you are right; however, I get the feeling that Ron and LB want to do more compartmentalizing than is good for a quality relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948
for many the expectation is somebody that will orbit around them. that is the need and yearning of the narcisst----- the yearning of the echo is to do that orbiting.
normal relations mean life overlap with no individual being the center of attention but some shared experience yet each keeping their own identity and life intact.
You just havent found the right person......you will know when you do because this will cease to be an issue. When you are really into someone you just cant get enough of them.
Nobody said anything about being busy,everyone has their own lives obviously.. we're talking about people who specifically say I'm too busy for a relationship or too busy to date you..9 times out of 10, it's code for I'm not interested in you.
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