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I am sorry that it has been such a pain for you to work with geniuses!
I think the trouble is that most geniuses do not have a thorough understanding of the difference between themselves and others - so they are constantly expecting everyone else to be able to act like a genius. They just don't realize that other people have such different skill sets and such different personalities. It is hard to conceive that everyone else is SO different. We tend to assume that others are like us without even realizing it. This expecting too much of others is a type of confusion that we often suffer from because we assume that everyone else is very much like us. Once we realize that most others just don't do all the same things that we do, we can see that it is NORMAL. Then, we stop interpreting these differences as a sign of laziness or lack of caring or other problems and we become much more tolerant!
Conversely, it seems that a lot of people assume that we choose to have our abilities or that we choose to have high standards. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I can't even tell you how many times I have tried to lower my standards in order to satisfy my needs without going to all the pain that is searching endlessly and being dissatisfied with every mate... Lowering my standards for mates doesn't work any better than telling myself I want to eat celery when what I really want is chocolate cake... This has been such a pain in the butt for me that I have wished to be stupid! Unfortunately differences like this cannot be changed. We just have to live with them. :/
Geniuses are both difficult to work with/socialize with and find it difficult to work with/socialize with others. :/
At least when you leave work at the end of the day there is someone out there who understands! Most of us go home to empty relationships or empty homes. We go out to parties and bars and supermarkets and clubs and find that not a single person understands. Please don't think our lives are a breeze and without problems. Genius is a double-edged sword of massive proportions. Please try to be patient with us, feel confident that that it is OKAY if you don't function like a genius, and do count your blessings!
Last edited by She_Was_A_Phoenix; 11-27-2008 at 10:48 PM..
I think I would rather put my trust behind someone that was stupid but well-meaning than someone who was intelligent and has bad intentions. The first can at least be advised. The second is dangerous no matter what advice is given.
Here is something interesting that most people don't know:
There is actually a connection between intelligence and goodness. Not all gifted people are good people - a few of them are even sociopaths, just like a few normal people here and there are sociopaths. But a higher percentage of gifted people tend to be very empathetic. We more commonly have a trait called "over-excitability" that leads to higher levels of moral development. And many geniuses do not care about money at all, so greed does not affect them as often.
As for what the world needs... I agree that it is pretty dysfunctional. I think it would help a lot if normal people and gifted people made an effort to get along with each other and work on the problems together! Too often, normal people are tearing gifted people down, and gifted people are very rude about expressing their frustration with normal people.
We need to change all that so that we can co-ordinate to fix the problems of the world.
Maybe if you cared less about food and candy she would finally go out with you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by She_Was_A_Phoenix
Chowhound,
I think I would rather put my trust behind someone that was stupid but well-meaning than someone who was intelligent and has bad intentions. The first can at least be advised. The second is dangerous no matter what advice is given.
Here is something interesting that most people don't know:
There is actually a connection between intelligence and goodness. Not all gifted people are good people - a few of them are even sociopaths, just like a few normal people here and there are sociopaths. But a higher percentage of gifted people tend to be very empathetic. We more commonly have a trait called "over-excitability" that leads to higher levels of moral development. And many geniuses do not care about money at all, so greed does not affect them as often.
As for what the world needs... I agree that it is pretty dysfunctional. I think it would help a lot if normal people and gifted people made an effort to get along with each other and work on the problems together! Too often, normal people are tearing gifted people down, and gifted people are very rude about expressing their frustration with normal people.
We need to change all that so that we can co-ordinate to fix the problems of the world.
I think I would rather put my trust behind someone that was stupid but well-meaning than someone who was intelligent and has bad intentions. The first can at least be advised. The second is dangerous no matter what advice is given.
Here is something interesting that most people don't know:
There is actually a connection between intelligence and goodness. Not all gifted people are good people - a few of them are even sociopaths, just like a few normal people here and there are sociopaths. But a higher percentage of gifted people tend to be very empathetic. We more commonly have a trait called "over-excitability" that leads to higher levels of moral development. And many geniuses do not care about money at all, so greed does not affect them as often.
As for what the world needs... I agree that it is pretty dysfunctional. I think it would help a lot if normal people and gifted people made an effort to get along with each other and work on the problems together! Too often, normal people are tearing gifted people down, and gifted people are very rude about expressing their frustration with normal people.
We need to change all that so that we can co-ordinate to fix the problems of the world.
Refugee,
Your friend is too hung up on his superior intelligence. I can tell you from experience that it doesn't take a genius to be a good partner for a genius.
My late wife had an IQ of 175, spoke five languages, scored perfect SAT scores, was an accomplished musician and a widely published poet from the age of 16. She edited a medical journal and was a newspaper columnist.
I graduated from my high school in the top 99 percent of my class.
That's about it for me. I'm pretty average. But we were a perfect match. I appreciated her intelligence (I never had to grab the dictionary if she was available), but we meshed so well because of other things. Her first husband was a genius; he beat her. I'm not, but I loved her more than words can describe, and she returned my love 100%. We weren't equal in every category, but we both had our strengths and respected each other for those strengths.
No, he is not one of those guys with an incredible IQ but lacks common sense and is broke, unemployed and living in his mothers basement because he can not function in society.
Instead he is just a remarkable person. Good looking, charming and nice. He is a graduate of a Ivy League University, has had incredible career success, has traveled around the world, has incredible conversational skills and is so well read and informed.
He has it all except a lady in his life.
He meets many women but leaves the dates unsatisfied and unimpressed. He can not find a women who has the intellectual and practical skills he has. He is just so brilliant and successful, no one he meets is his equal.
Anyone here that is real bright, well informed and successful have a hard time finding an equal?
That is how I feel a lot of the time, I am no genius, but the goals I have, the pressure I put on myself to succeed, and the standards I have, translate into being harsh on other people and judgmental. I don't apologize for those traits, however, it's just how I see the world. I may have seen 10,000 girls in my life who were cute to gorgeous, but the girls that I've met and spoken with and gotten to know a little bit, etc., have always disappointed me. I have yet to meet one woman I fully respected and admired, personally speaking at least. There is one girl who is close, but I think she has a few issues that are still not really ideal. I know there is no perfect woman but what I am saying is I have 5 close friends who I really admire and respect, whose opinions I value and who I consider in their own ways remarkable individuals. I have yet to meet a single girl who I feel that way about, intellectually, emotionally, whatever. I hope one day I find such a girl, but I won't hold my breath. I'll settle for short-term fun and a good time with an attractive girl with a reasonably good personality.
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