Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I remained single (voluntarily) for MANY years.. I was raising a son by myself and didn't want him involved in my dating scene at such a young age. When he was old enough I had had enough w/being alone and finally decided to try dating again (2 bad serious relationships.. one physical abuse and one emotional abuse) put me off for some time but it was time to jump back in.
I was 32 when I decided to try again. By this time I was out of the dating cycle and had no clue how to go about it again LOL.. so I did the internet thing... ewwww... NEVER again. I went out w/so many single guys and married men (that I had no clue they were married) that made me bitter for it.
Then I got a Myspace account to keep up w/friends I had left behind when I moved from CAlif to Reno.
There I found my now husband. We went out a few times as friends. Sweet, sweet man... loved the personality but not that into him.. was going to break it off but then decided to give him a chance
What made me change my mind? My aunt. She 54 yrs old and single.. married 3 times and divorced.. all to jackoffs. she's content w/her life now w/my other aunt and her female friends a huge factor in her life. BUT I didn't want to end up like her.. Sad..I know saying that about my fave aunt but it didn't want to grow old w/o someone by my side. Her life IMO (and in familys opinion) is a little sad and a bit lonely.
So i decided to give my hubby a chance because he was such a beautiful man... inside and out.
There is someone nice, decent and loving out there. What I've seen w/women nowadays (and primarily) men is they want perfection. They want money, model looks, etc. and then get pissed or upset when they are treated so shabbily. Find a man/woman that has a beautiful heart .. so they may not have alot of money or model looks but they are a beautiful person. Give those that have those qualities a chance. There are many out there but our society has become so shallow that the good ones are getting swept under the rug.
my hubby didn't have not of money when I met him (he's paying child support for his 2 children from his marriage) but TOGETHER we have thrived by each other's side. Model Looks? Once you see the inside it makes everything about that person gorgeous. my hubby was cute/attractive when I first met him but not to my (old)standards. When I look at him now IMO he is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen.
Give everyone a chance. White, Black, Yellow, Orange or Pink... They can/might be the perfect one for you.
I would probably be considered quite shallow by your standards I definitely want a hot girl. If I'm not very physically attracted to her it won't work out. But people, as usual, don't like to concern themselves with definitions much anymore, after all the facts just get in the way of people's pre-established opinions. Shallow doesn't mean you care about physical appearance. It means you ONLY care about physical appearance. You're shallow if you value only someone's looks, and have little concern for anything else. Let me use another example. I'm not superficial for liking a book with a great cover if that book happens to be a classic that's also a great book. If there are 10 versions of Catcher in the Rye, and I pick one of the versions with a great cover art too, that doesn't make me shallow. It means I value the whole book, inside and out, and given the choice of a book that's great inside and boring outside, or one that's both great inside and out, I choose to pick the one that has both inner and outer beauty. The same is true with girls. I probably have higher standards than almost anyone when it comes to a girl's personality and intelligence, since for me considerations like philosophical viewpoints, political views, religious ideals, etc. all come into play, but on top of that I want a girl who is very attractive. It's very unfair to label someone superficial for that. It's like if I list 10 things I like about a TV show, and one of them is, "There are very attractive actresses," then you assume I have superficial reasons for liking said TV show even though the other 9 reasons were things like, "Philosophically interesting plots, fantastic cinematography, excellent acting by the male lead, great costume design, wonderful makeup work, emotionally compelling characters," etc. To single out one of my reasons and then make a judgment about it, well, that's just philosophically unsound.
So I'll take accusations of being shallow with grace because I've been called that before, but I don't really care since it's not true. I couldn't date a hot girl who was stupid or boring. I'm way too demanding for that. But likewise I couldn't date a girl "with a great heart" who was ugly. I don't want to be harsh but the reason I am interested in girls rather than guys, sexually, is because I am attracted to beautiful women. If I was attracted to men, I would date them. So if I'm not attracted to a girl, she's about like a guy to me, could be a friend, we could hang out and all of that, but we're not going to be romantically involved because that depends on physical attraction.
I definitely want a girl with model looks, but I want a girl who has more to offer than that. I know they're out there, because I've met them before, but nobody is perfect, unfortunately. I, for instance, lack any sense of humility, otherwise I would be perfect...
I am 24 going on 25 and I'm starting to believe that love just won't ever happen to me. I look around and all of my friends and peers are in serious relationships and it seems like I'm the only one that is single, and while being alone doesn't scare me because I am comfortable with myself, the thought of never experiencing true love does scare me.
YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO FEEL THIS WAY!!!! If you try to force yourself to find love you can find yourself "in love with being in love" and end up with the wrong person.
I wish to God someone had told me this at your age. Please relax and just live create the life for yourself that you want and the right person will come into your life. It may not happen when you want it to, but if you just relax and let it happen, I promise it will.
I am 24 going on 25 and I'm starting to believe that love just won't ever happen to me. I look around and all of my friends and peers are in serious relationships and it seems like I'm the only one that is single, and while being alone doesn't scare me because I am comfortable with myself, the thought of never experiencing true love does scare me.
I guess people would call me cynical, can't say I disagree, but I don't want to be in any relationship where I somehow emotionally feel it's in my best interest to go out of my way to do everything for someone else. That's not my personality.
It is not so much that you "choose" to move mountains for someone you love, you just "do."
Like one of the closest friends or family members you have ever had. They are not perfect, the can do wrong, and they will make mistakes. But, you find yourself being able to look beyond all that because there is something about them that just moves you. You realize that your life will go on without this person there, but you would much rather have this person in your life just because they add something that wasn't there, a void being filled if you will. LT relationships or marriage isn't about someone who is perfect in every way... it is about being someone that you can tolerate, and they can tolerate you, because both parties accept each other for who they are - good and bad.
I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong in your mindset, but I will say keeping that mindset might keep you from meeting some of the greatest people who might cross your path. I would much rather have love in my life than not... because there is nothing so wonderful than knowing someone's got your back and holds your hand during the good and the bad. Even if it is just a very, very good friendship. But, to each their own.
Looking back and analyzing my life, it seems like I've truly loved somebody only once, very early in life (18-20). Can't say for sure if the rest of my life has been influenced by the unfortunate for me end of it (chances are it was), but the following "loves" appear to have been strong "lusts" and/or "obsessions." Had one marriage based on it, too. It was worse than the other one based more on practical considerations.
It's not so much of the fact that my friends are either married or in serious relationships that make me want a man for myself. I crave the intimacy, companionship, and love that a relationship brings. I just wish I had someone I could share my inner thoughts and dreams with, not to sound mushy or corny..the holidays are around the corner and I'm already feeling the blues.
Don't get me wrong, I've dated other guys but most (and by most I mean 95%) are just after some ass, and after having my heart broken I'm just weary of the guys I meet.
Don't crave it or be jealous because if you do, you'll get or be drawn to a rotten partner or rotten people.
Just be ok being single and enjoy yourself and the company of good friends and good family members.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KMG1
It's not so much of the fact that my friends are either married or in serious relationships that make me want a man for myself. I crave the intimacy, companionship, and love that a relationship brings. I just wish I had someone I could share my inner thoughts and dreams with, not to sound mushy or corny..the holidays are around the corner and I'm already feeling the blues.
Don't get me wrong, I've dated other guys but most (and by most I mean 95%) are just after some ass, and after having my heart broken I'm just weary of the guys I meet.
I crave the intimacy, companionship, and love that a relationship brings.
It doesn't necessarily bring them by default...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I definitely want a hot girl. If I'm not very physically attracted to her it won't work out. But people, as usual, don't like to concern themselves with definitions much anymore, after all the facts just get in the way of people's pre-established opinions. Shallow doesn't mean you care about physical appearance. It means you ONLY care about physical appearance. You're shallow if you value only someone's looks, and have little concern for anything else. Let me use another example. I'm not superficial for liking a book with a great cover if that book happens to be a classic that's also a great book. If there are 10 versions of Catcher in the Rye, and I pick one of the versions with a great cover art too, that doesn't make me shallow. It means I value the whole book, inside and out, and given the choice of a book that's great inside and boring outside, or one that's both great inside and out, I choose to pick the one that has both inner and outer beauty. The same is true with girls. I probably have higher standards than almost anyone when it comes to a girl's personality and intelligence, since for me considerations like philosophical viewpoints, political views, religious ideals, etc. all come into play, but on top of that I want a girl who is very attractive. It's very unfair to label someone superficial for that. It's like if I list 10 things I like about a TV show, and one of them is, "There are very attractive actresses," then you assume I have superficial reasons for liking said TV show even though the other 9 reasons were things like, "Philosophically interesting plots, fantastic cinematography, excellent acting by the male lead, great costume design, wonderful makeup work, emotionally compelling characters," etc. To single out one of my reasons and then make a judgment about it, well, that's just philosophically unsound.
