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I am not divorced but some of my friends are. In their cases there were true reasons to get divorced and get out of a bad situation. I also know others who just couldn't make it work for some reason.
It seems there is no sense of delayed gratification these days and many people do not know how to work hard on something that needs to be fixed. No relationship is perfect and all relationships need to be fine tuned but that takes dedication.
It's supposed to say, "why do people seem to get divorced over the simplest things now?" I left out the "get."
Because we're such a me, me, me generation/society. Look at some of the threads in here. There's a poster that's throwing away her marriage, her home, her kids, her husband because she feels she's missed out on something. And she' not unique! The only unique part is she's blatently honest about it. She's not justifying. unless you consider her obvious selfishness as such? Most of us place blame on all sorts of things to justify things we do away. She will too if she continues to post on here. She'll start telling us about all her trials and denial of them, because she'll get tired of people slamming her based on her current written stance.
There's also threads about tiring of one partner, losing interest. They don't start these threads looking for answers, they do it in hopes they get approval, and they do! Then they ignore any advice to the contrary, and get goosebumps over the "i feel that way too...." posts.
Because we're such a me, me, me generation/society. Look at some of the threads in here. There's a poster that's throwing away her marriage, her home, her kids, her husband because she feels she's missed out on something. And she' not unique! The only unique part is she's blatently honest about it. She's not justifying. unless you consider her obvious selfishness as such? Most of us place blame on all sorts of things to justify things we do away. She will too if she continues to post on here. She'll start telling us about all her trials and denial of them, because she'll get tired of people slamming her based on her current written stance.
There's also threads about tiring of one partner, losing interest. They don't start these threads looking for answers, they do it in hopes they get approval, and they do! Then they ignore any advice to the contrary, and get goosebumps over the "i feel that way too...." posts.
It's supposed to say, "why do people seem to get divorced over the simplest things now?" I left out the "get."
Because they shouldn't have been married in the first place! Too many couples rush into marriage, while still riding the high of their initial crush on each other. But it's not real love and once the crush fades away, there's nothing left. Hopefully, they haven't made any babies yet.
i see most of the posts are saying its all about love. but i dont think so. why did divorce skyrocket in the USA??? it can be traced to 1974 when personal debt became transferable and assets became very accessible thru credit and divorce law change. i dont think people are guided by their hearts, i think people are guided by money.
i know what love is. you can keep your hat on - joe cocker sing it.
i see most of the posts are saying its all about love. but i dont think so. why did divorce skyrocket in the USA??? it can be traced to 1974 when personal debt became transferable and assets became very accessible thru credit and divorce law change. i dont think people are guided by their hearts, i think people are guided by money.
i know what love is. you can keep your hat on - joe cocker sing it.
Divorces didn't just "skyrocket" in the US -- they are high in all countries where there is a high standard of living and legal equality between the genders. In fact, when divorce rates are expressed as a function of marriage rates, the USA isn't even at the top of the list -- so before you bemoan how much Americans divorce, it would be nice if you considered the divorce rates in context. Divorce is very expensive to most people, and the majority lose -- men and women. As far as a woman is concerned, most child support awards cover approximately 1/3 of the costs of raising a child, alimony is increasingly rare, and property and debt are split down the middle as women earn increasingly on par with men. In any event, it is far more lucrative for a woman to pursue her career, rather than put it aside for the sake of marriage and children -- whatever she gets in a divorce (if anything) will be pennies compared to what she would have made without the burdens of marriage and motherhood. Oh, hell, perhaps I just can't find the entrance to that magical country where a woman can raise two kids and still live the high life on the paltry $500 a month.
That's easy. Because personal fulfillment is now considered to be the highest priority in life. So if somebody bores you, or keeps you from doing whatever the heck you want for whatever reason, it's perfectly acceptable to give that person the heave-ho, as if he or she is just so much ballast.
Divorces didn't just "skyrocket" in the US -- they are high in all countries where there is a high standard of living and legal equality between the genders. In fact, when divorce rates are expressed as a function of marriage rates, the USA isn't even at the top of the list -- so before you bemoan how much Americans divorce, it would be nice if you considered the divorce rates in context. Divorce is very expensive to most people, and the majority lose -- men and women. As far as a woman is concerned, most child support awards cover approximately 1/3 of the costs of raising a child, alimony is increasingly rare, and property and debt are split down the middle as women earn increasingly on par with men. In any event, it is far more lucrative for a woman to pursue her career, rather than put it aside for the sake of marriage and children -- whatever she gets in a divorce (if anything) will be pennies compared to what she would have made without the burdens of marriage and motherhood. Oh, hell, perhaps I just can't find the entrance to that magical country where a woman can raise two kids and still live the high life on the paltry $500 a month.
again on topic women file most of the divorces they do it for the money.
oh yes divorce did in fact skyrocket after 1974 and the divorce in other countries is not the topic.
happy to provide links to support what i say. you say men and women lose in a divorce yes in the cosmic sense yes, you are right but women walk away with cash settlements and men dont. everything is not split 50/50 they "negotiate a settlement" translation, the guy pays. your argument to explain 56% divorce rate as normal and appopriate is ambitious at best. i do not hold women at fault for guarding their own financial interests but men have been incrediblly naive regarding the legal realities of 21st century marriage.
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Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 11-15-2008 at 04:35 PM..
A co-worker of mine told me that his brother's ex-wife left him because he always refused to eat her vagina during sex and so she could no longer take it anymore. So she basically filed for divorce because she wasn't satisfied with the sex life. He said that his brother was only 23 and his ex-wife was only 20 at the time that they got married and that the marriage only lasted 17 months. So marrying very young sometimes is a recipe for disaster.
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It's supposed to say, "why do people seem to get divorced over the simplest things now?" I left out the "get."
