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out of curiosity, a u a guy or a u a gal? Because cases are slightly different for guys. And one perennial truth is that girls often can't clearly articulate what they REALLY want to others and to themselves.
I'm a chick. But to be honest with you, I considered myself asexual for awhile. Sex was at the bottom of my list of things to do. It's still near the bottom, but I'm not completely asexual. Truly asexual people are probably rare, I'm guessing. But if someone was wondering what held me back, it was that lack of desire, really. It certainly wasn't religion.
What you're saying about girls seems like far too much of a generalization.
I remember when I was younger (16) and a virgin. I got out & out propositioned twice just for that reason alone. I finally gave in and was seduced by a classmate's mother. I was doing odd jobs for here and somehow the conversation turned to my virginity. She took care of that.
I think one of the reasons that would put me off from dating an older virgin male is that I would be afraid that he would get too attached to me, and if things weren't working out for me for other reasons, then I would feel guilty breaking things off with him. I think with a first sexual love, there is a tendency to think themselves in true love when it's just a physical crush.
And my current boyfriend had only minimal experience sexually and everything was just wonderful for the both of us from the beginning.
I think one of the reasons that would put me off from dating an older virgin male is that I would be afraid that he would get too attached to me, and if things weren't working out for me for other reasons, then I would feel guilty breaking things off with him. I think with a first sexual love, there is a tendency to think themselves in true love when it's just a physical crush.
That's interesting; I never really thought about it that way. It's hard for me to believe that people couldn't step away at some point and be honest with themselves. If they don't really have anything in common with the person other than great sex, why couldn't they see that? Why couldn't they realize, if, for example, they don't even have anything to talk about with the other person and they have nothing real in common?
I guess I understand to some extent, though, despite being a virgin, because in the case of one very physical relationship I had, I lied to myself to some degree or another about our compatibility. We fought very often, but I felt the relationship was so monumental in my life that I wanted to do whatever I could to patch things up time after time, even though it became obvious that our differences were too vast. Maybe I was doing just what you're talking about there.
I like to look at it this way... When I sleep with my wife (when I find her, She is a freakin' pro at hide and seek) for the first time, it is going to be the BEST sex I have EVER had.
I kinow that some guys like a virgin lady (I think). Well I am a 22 yr. old male virgin. Do girls find this weird? I am not un-attractive, I am 6-3 180. So that is not it. I just have not felt like I 'needed' to 'lose' it. Would girls be more attracted to that fact, or would it be a 'Holy cow stay away from that guy' kind of feeling. Also, I am MORE than willing to wait until I am married until I actually 'complete' the act. Ladies, what say you?
Different women want different things. Some find it sweet. Some, like me, are neutral on the concept, but avoid virgins due to personal preferences. I am married now, but when I was out there, I never liked virgins. (Again, when I say "liked", I mean, in the sexual context.) I believe it takes some time for a man after losing his virginity to grasp the difference between masturbation using someone else's body in place of the hand, and actually making love with a partner. There is more to it than that, but I'm afraid if I go into more detail, City Data will delete my comment for explicitness. Basically, I've never put much moral value on virginity, and with that out of the picture, I've always preferred a partner who is reasonably experienced and relaxed.
I think you should do whatever makes you comfortable. You certainly should have sex out of some sense of peer pressure or obligation -- but also understand that all women do not feel similarly about a prospective partner being a virgin.
If I was a younger woman - like my early 20s like you - yes maybe it might be a turn on - but now that I'm in my 30s (and married!) - I would a man who knows exactly what to do....I'm tired of teaching "kids"
That's interesting; I never really thought about it that way. It's hard for me to believe that people couldn't step away at some point and be honest with themselves. If they don't really have anything in common with the person other than great sex, why couldn't they see that? Why couldn't they realize, if, for example, they don't even have anything to talk about with the other person and they have nothing real in common?
I guess I understand to some extent, though, despite being a virgin, because in the case of one very physical relationship I had, I lied to myself to some degree or another about our compatibility. We fought very often, but I felt the relationship was so monumental in my life that I wanted to do whatever I could to patch things up time after time, even though it became obvious that our differences were too vast. Maybe I was doing just what you're talking about there.
A lot of people wax nostaglic about their first crush or love, and remember that person and relationship fondly for many years and decades... I don't, but that's just me. I'm too logical and practical minded to be caught up in that nonsense.
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