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Old 12-21-2008, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 15,121,201 times
Reputation: 3787

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
"Communication" is a highly overrated BS! It's not like you don't comprehend what the other one is saying... you just can't imagine how he/she can possibly think and feel this way! No amount of rehashing it and rewording it is going to change THAT! It all comes down to compatibility in practical matters and similar wavelength in the abstract ones.
There is a difference between communication and talking just like there is a difference bewteen hearing and listening. Communication is not about simply saying words, it's about expressing how you feel. The comprehension and acceptance of the other person's feelings are a very important part of communication. And if you are listening, instead of dismissing because you don't like what's being said, you'll understand exactly why the person you are communicating with thinks and feels the way he/she does.
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,197,910 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
But that's just it. Many people DON'T express what they are feeling, or they let you ASSUME. So you may THINK you know, but you don't. And that is really a path to failure.
I'm not saying it's not needed at all. I just meant that no matter how well expressed an inconceivable to the other party thought is it's not gonna make any difference. You can talk till the cows come home and if it's unacceptable to the other one it remains unacceptable. You either can agree to disagree and live with it or you can't, depending on how important the issue is to you.
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:09 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 969,008 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
There is a difference between communication and talking just like there is a difference bewteen hearing and listening. Communication is not about simply saying words, it's about expressing how you feel. The comprehension and acceptance of the other person's feelings are a very important part of communication. And if you are listening, instead of dismissing because you don't like what's being said, you'll understand exactly why the person you are communicating with thinks and feels the way he/she does.
Exactly!!!

Acceptance! Wow... so many people are unwilling to accept things that are 'different' to them.
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,197,910 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonpieheaven View Post
Exactly!!!

Acceptance! Wow... so many people are unwilling to accept things that are 'different' to them.
It kinda depends on the "things"... don't you think?
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,052,999 times
Reputation: 13472
All this wonderful talk about communication. It's all BS. What about when someone asks you how you really feel, and you spill your guts out and they get all pissed off and immediately the ONLY course of action is "Well then, we need to go our separate ways if that's how you feel." No gray area, it's either black or white. Oh, and marriage counseling? Forget that! One party absolutely does not believe in it and will never, ever go. So, you go by yourself, spend a sh*tload of money - several thousand dollars - only to still be at square one. Yeah, communication, alright. Sorry, but it's a load of crap.
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:17 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 969,008 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
It kinda depends on the "things"... don't you think?
of course....

But, for example - I have a friend that dismisses her husbands feelings & comments about everything. She acts like he disgusts her. Its almost like she feels superior to him & everything she says & does is the 'right' way. She can't accept that he might feel differently than she does, so she just assumes he is wrong. I'm not sure if I am wording this to where you understand what I am saying.
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:19 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 969,008 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
All this wonderful talk about communication. It's all BS. What about when someone asks you how you really feel, and you spill your guts out and they get all pissed off and immediately the ONLY course of action is "Well then, we need to go our separate ways if that's how you feel." No gray area, it's either black or white. Oh, and marriage counseling? Forget that! One party absolutely does not believe in it and will never, ever go. So, you go by yourself, spend a sh*tload of money - several thousand dollars - only to still be at square one. Yeah, communication, alright. Sorry, but it's a load of crap.
It takes BOTH parties to communicate. You are right about that. If the other is close minded, there is no communication.
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Texas
525 posts, read 948,647 times
Reputation: 325
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
All this wonderful talk about communication. It's all BS. What about when someone asks you how you really feel, and you spill your guts out and they get all pissed off and immediately the ONLY course of action is "Well then, we need to go our separate ways if that's how you feel." No gray area, it's either black or white. Oh, and marriage counseling? Forget that! One party absolutely does not believe in it and will never, ever go. So, you go by yourself, spend a sh*tload of money - several thousand dollars - only to still be at square one. Yeah, communication, alright. Sorry, but it's a load of crap.



Ahh and now we see what the op is asking. How about the successful WAYS of communicating?

So, how to make it work and how to make it endure? That's what op seeks.

thanks for your post twinkle
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 41,052,999 times
Reputation: 13472
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeanACM View Post


Ahh and now we see what the op is asking. How about the successful WAYS of communicating?

So, how to make it work and how to make it endure? That's what op seeks.

thanks for your post twinkle
I'm just full of great ideas!
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Old 12-21-2008, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,197,910 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonpieheaven View Post
of course....

But, for example - I have a friend that dismisses her husbands feelings & comments about everything. She acts like he disgusts her. Its almost like she feels superior to him & everything she says & does is the 'right' way. She can't accept that he might feel differently than she does, so she just assumes he is wrong. I'm not sure if I am wording this to where you understand what I am saying.
Yes, I do understand. I feel the same way about many people. They simply shouldn't have gotten together. That's all.
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