Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I never he was obligated, but since I'm the type of person who shares I have a major peoblem with people who don't.
Also, I have actually met and grew up with my cousin. If I had never laid eyes on him it would have never come up.
I think you're going to have a major problem with most people then. You no longer speak with your cousin - he/she is the luckiest person on the planet!
So. At 11:30PM last night, in the middle of playing the Game of Life with my son, I get a text with them accusing me of "ignoring them and Merry Christmas and they will leave me alone and not bother me anymore." - readers digest version.
I really do not like texting, so I call (which goes to VM), and leave a VM saying Merry Christmas, was the ignored not the ignorer.
I receive a text from one of them. . . (no, they could not be grown up enough to answer their phone) - "I lived without you for 33 years and I can go another 33." - And I responded back, "Wish you were that confident on Sunday."
No response back (just as I hoped).
Burning bridges with me is what they wanted for Christmas, I suppose. Because that did just that. I will not further be pulled into or play into their drama. I'm done.
Ugh - that's really a slap in the face - your long lost biological family, who you were so psyched about finding, is now turning out to be some pretty superficial folks! Tanning salon? Let me guess - they also have acrylic nails, unbeweave-able hair, the whole nine yards. And they need a loan. Alrighty then...sounds just like the big three automakers' CEOs going to DC to ask for a bailout by flying in their private jets! Just out of curiousity, how much did they ask for? Did they say what the loan was for? Inquiring minds want to know!
BTW - I'm sorry to hear how disappointing this is turning out to be for you - don't dwell on it. I'm sure you know you and your son have managed just fine without them thus far, and you probably won't be losing a whole lot by not welcoming moochers into your home.
She asked for in between $2,000 - 2,500. She ended up in a fight with her live-in BF, he got hauled off to jail for pushing her and manhandling her - (she called me when the cops were there, so I did hear it) . . . she got a restraining order which since it is his home, she would have to be out of his home at the end of the month when the Judge will allow him back into his own home (owned, mortgage in his name). I lost sympathy when she told me that he's never laid a hand on her before - and the other sister told me that he has.
At that point, last Thursday, it was just way too much drama for me and I kept my distance after I was hung up on by her after I told her to go get a restraining order as the cop told her to do so she could make plans to move out. Guess she did not want to hear it (since she hung up on me), but evidently, she ended up doing it anyway the next day, according to the other sister who I spoke to on Friday. That was the last I heard from either one of them until I was called for money on Sunday for move-in costs for a new place and a big phone bill she received. And again last night for an obvious additional attempt to try to manipulate me, guilt me - whatever it's called.
So. At 11:30PM last night, in the middle of playing the Game of Life with my son, I get a text with them accusing me of "ignoring them and Merry Christmas and they will leave me alone and not bother me anymore." - readers digest version.
I really do not like texting, so I call (which goes to VM), and leave a VM saying Merry Christmas, was the ignored not the ignorer.
I receive a text from one of them. . . (no, they could not be grown up enough to answer their phone) - "I lived without you for 33 years and I can go another 33." - And I responded back, "Wish you were that confident on Sunday."
No response back (just as I hoped).
Burning bridges with me is what they wanted for Christmas, I suppose. Because that did just that. I will not further be pulled into or play into their drama. I'm done.
Damn. Yeah...you should be done. Nobody needs people like that in their life. I know you were so looking forward to getting to know them, sorry it turned out that they aren't worth the trouble.
She asked for in between $2,000 - 2,500. She ended up in a fight with her live-in BF, he got hauled off to jail for pushing her and manhandling her - (she called me when the cops were there, so I did hear it) . . . she got a restraining order which since it is his home, she would have to be out of his home at the end of the month when the Judge will allow him back into his own home (owned, mortgage in his name). I lost sympathy when she told me that he's never laid a hand on her before - and the other sister told me that he has.
At that point, last Thursday, it was just way too much drama for me and I kept my distance after I was hung up on by her after I told her to go get a restraining order as the cop told her to do so she could make plans to move out. Guess she did not want to hear it (since she hung up on me), but evidently, she ended up doing it anyway the next day, according to the other sister who I spoke to on Friday. That was the last I heard from either one of them until I was called for money on Sunday for move-in costs for a new place and a big phone bill she received. And again last night for an obvious additional attempt to try to manipulate me, guilt me - whatever it's called.
Sorry things aren't working out with your newly discovered family.
I know if I was your sister and needed money I would never think of asking you. You're a complete stranger to them; I wonder if she's asked other strangers for money. You definitely did the right thing.
Years ago my niece (17 years old) had falling out with my sister and found her biological father. She moved in with him and his family. They took her credit card and charged thousands of dollars on it and refused to pay it then kicked her out. Her credit is still screwed up because of this new family.
I just could not agree with this post less. If someone has money, that in NO WAY obligates them to hand out money to ANYONE for any reason unless they want to. Money ruins relationships as your story shows only too well.
Jeepgirl - it sounds like you have been dealt a really crappy hand when it comes to family - both birth and adopted. I am so sad for you that you have to go through this, but maybe this is the time to give up on family that you can't control, and concentrate on your own family unit with your son. That way you know this cycle will be broken and you and your son will always have a wonderful relationship with each other.
Happy holidays and try not to let it effect you too much.
Hobo, the above bolded made me burst out laughing . . . trust me, I am keeping my humor through this all. It takes a lot to knock this girl down and I've yet to have a situation that has. I'm the sort that tries to see the why's and how's in regard to how God wants things. I believe there is always reason, so I do not always feel tripped up.
My son gave me a stone plaque last night that reads, "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." He said that he bought it at the mall because it fits me and our home perfectly and no matter what we've been through, laughter was always a top priority and he thanked me for that. My eyes just teared I was so happy to hear that coming from him.
Inside, I am annoyed over the situation with the bio's, I suppose that is natural, but like someone said above that was very true, I do not know them well enough to be all upside down over it. I'm still pretty detached. More so, I am relieved that I found out what type of people they are and found out early on before I developed a 'sisterly bond' with them.
I am perfectly ok with not ever meeting them. I have my answers of my past of why I was adopted and family medical history. . . that alone is a gift to be thankful for.
This has not affected the holiday cheer in my home. I defy negative energy. I refuse to give them such power to do so. I have my life together and their lives not being together is their own responsibility, not mine.
Our Christmas is going great and things in the home are very festive and upbeat. . . no one is going to change that.
Well. Unless suddenly they find money to drive down and knock on my door. ROFL. . . Crickies!
I have my answers of my past of why I was adopted and family medical history. . . that alone is a gift to be thankful for.
This has not affected the holiday cheer in my home. ... I refuse to give them such power to do so. I have my life together and their lives not being together is their own responsibility, not mine.
Our Christmas is going great and things in the home are very festive and upbeat. . . no one is going to change that.
You have a healthy view of life; one that many people are never able to grasp. Kudos to you. That perspective will serve you well the rest of your years. Your son is a lucky boy. Merry Christmas to the both of you.
Sorry things aren't working out with your newly discovered family.
I know if I was your sister and needed money I would never think of asking you. You're a complete stranger to them; I wonder if she's asked other strangers for money. You definitely did the right thing.
Years ago my niece (17 years old) had falling out with my sister and found her biological father. She moved in with him and his family. They took her credit card and charged thousands of dollars on it and refused to pay it then kicked her out. Her credit is still screwed up because of this new family.
Merry Christmas
That's just horrible. Horrible. That's karma for them that is going to suck.
My son said to me a couple days ago it's for the best, reminded me that desperate people do desperate things and we would be no exception.
Damn Jeep! I'm SO sorry this happened. Keep your head up and stay focused on your son!! Merry Christmas sweetie!
Thanks, Dan. . .but, you know what. . . about a month ago, I mentioned here that I bought a couple 1/4 carat Circle of Life Pendants and white gold chains for them because of the symbolism they carry. I actually feel bad for them. If they played their cards right and a bit smarter, they could have received that as a gift and hocked it.
But guess what, I still got 'em, still got 'em! Neener neener!
Merry Merriest Christmas!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
