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The best relationships I've seen be successful usually start out where they've known each other as friends for a while first. In your twenties, you must have a large social network of friends. Does anyone from the people that you already know interest you? If so, instead of dating, get a group of friends together and be sure to include that person. You won't feel that you're on the spot having to carry a conversation.
If that scenario doesn't work, then instead of a date invite her to be a part of a group event where your friends will be. It takes the pressure off and she'll be able to see you in a more natural setting.
Why is it that whenever I go out on dates with females I'm absolutely, 100% compatible with they wind up "just wanting to be friends"? Yet, when I go out on dates with people whom I can't wait for the date to end due to lack of things to talk about and such, they wind up calling, and calling and calling. Is it because I show the girls that I'm compatible with slight interest??? Anyways....I've come to the conclusion that you married people are indeed lucky, and that the dating GAME this day and age for 20 somethings is nothing short of a nightmare!
Here's my theory, when you're on a date with a woman you're really attracted to because she's in the high range of your league or maybe outside of it, you think, "Wow, I'm 100 percent compatible with this girl! I can't believe my luck!" Meanwhile, she's thinking, "I can do better. I better make this a 'just friends' situation before things get messy and I get stuck with someone who just doesn't meet all of my requirements." Now, when you're on a date with a girl in the low range of your league or maybe below it, you think, "I can do better. I'm never going to call this girl again." Meanwhile, she's thinking, "Wow, I'm 100 percent compatible with this guy! I can't believe my luck!"
Don't sweat it, and don't get bitter. This is just how dating works. Think of it like a job. You probably don't want the jobs that want you: fast food, retail, etc.; however, the jobs you do want probably don't want you: movie star, writer, whatever. No worries. People still manage to find good, satisfying careers and awesome mates. It just takes a little while and a little negotiation.
My advice to you as a 30-something married guy is don't settle. Let a woman settle for you. Women are better at these things. They reach a point where they decide to give a good guy a break and relax on some of their standards. Some men try to do this for women, but it doesn't really work... the happiest married men are men who think they are with the absolute best girl they could ever get and they chuckle at their good luck daily that this girl actually gave them a break. Just make sure said girl isn't just using you as a place holder for a real man though.
What if you do take her up on her offer to be 'friends'? Do you really think she got a good impression of you on one date? Be friends. Maybe things will change or maybe you'll gain a good friend.
What if you do take her up on her offer to be 'friends'? Do you really think she got a good impression of you on one date? Be friends. Maybe things will change or maybe you'll gain a good friend.
The friend zone is a bad place to work your way out of. The unspoken guys' credo is: "If I want a friend, I'll buy a dog."
Its obvious. When you want to impress, you're nervous and unless you are a top 20 percentile, women will never give you a second chance. I've seen many comments on this site where women will say they know they never want to see the guy again after only a few minutes. They have this sixth sense about it, apparently. (Meanwhile other posts say men should give women at least 6 months!)
Here's the deal: Most women know within 5 minutes if you are someone we'd have sex with. Within an hour we know exactly how long we think it will be before you get it and what we need to see from you in order for it to happen. Unfortunately, most guys blow it and sometimes we're still around because you're being given a second (or maybe third chance).
Being nervous has nothing to do with whether or not a guy gets another date. In fact sometimes it's very cute to see a guy off his game. And it lets you know he's being real.
Why is it that whenever I go out on dates with females I'm absolutely, 100% compatible with they wind up "just wanting to be friends"? Yet, when I go out on dates with people whom I can't wait for the date to end due to lack of things to talk about and such, they wind up calling, and calling and calling. Is it because I show the girls that I'm compatible with slight interest??? Anyways....I've come to the conclusion that you married people are indeed lucky, and that the dating GAME this day and age for 20 somethings is nothing short of a nightmare!
Oh i totally agree the dating age for 20 somethings is a nightmare, I mean all the guys who want a relationship already have one and the others well they just want to get into your knickers and thats about it!
The difference a year makes is unreal, i mean I was mad for any guy that treated me bad - nothing drastic but just your general bad boy type. Its left me wanting those guys I turned down not that long ago... the problem being they are now taken. Karma sucks
My guess is the girls you are dating arent ready for a real relationship, i bet you anything there thinking "Hes nice but....", in a couple of years they will be thinking "where are all the nice men?"
I HATE hanging out with a huge circle of other people's "friends".....I never understood how people could think that was better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyV
The best relationships I've seen be successful usually start out where they've known each other as friends for a while first. In your twenties, you must have a large social network of friends. Does anyone from the people that you already know interest you? If so, instead of dating, get a group of friends together and be sure to include that person. You won't feel that you're on the spot having to carry a conversation.
If that scenario doesn't work, then instead of a date invite her to be a part of a group event where your friends will be. It takes the pressure off and she'll be able to see you in a more natural setting.
Here's the deal: Most women know within 5 minutes if you are someone we'd have sex with. Within an hour we know exactly how long we think it will be before you get it and what we need to see from you in order for it to happen. Unfortunately, most guys blow it and sometimes we're still around because you're being given a second (or maybe third chance).
Being nervous has nothing to do with whether or not a guy gets another date. In fact sometimes it's very cute to see a guy off his game. And it lets you know he's being real.
Nice post. So true. And in those rare occations where we are able to go from the "no" category to the "yes" category, possibly with the infulence of mass amounts of alcohol, that is a victory for man kind my friend.
Just to add a married persons thought.
I am tired of being married.
But dating in this day and age scares the hell out of me.
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