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So what should these women do if they find themselves pregnant?
Then you should have an abortion. If your religion forbids abortion, I'm sure it forbids fornication as well. Practice self-control and avoid sex until after marriage.
Or if your personal values endorce fornication but forbid abortion, you should tell upfront any man you sleep with that they have to pay child support for the next 18 years in case you become pregnant accidentally. It's called playing it fair.
Last edited by lauren123; 01-17-2009 at 11:59 PM..
I find more men want children than not. I do not want children, and this is often a sore point with guys I date who are interested in me long term. Of the families I know, it is usually the husbands who wanted to have more than 1 child. I'd bet it is about an equal number of men & women who want/don't want children, and I think the women who have them when they didn't want any or who have them earlier than planned are probably pretty devastated. But maybe women are simply better in dealing with unplanned events in life?
The fact of the matter is, male or female, if you have sex than be ready to accept any of the consequences. If you can't, then don't have sex. Vasectomys can fail also, btw. It's a small percentage, but still...
haha yup. Ironically I find most women want kids! (just look on their myspace profiles!). Yea, the vasectomy can fail. What is the percent .005%? You get sperm tested like every year or so, very simple test. Just add it in there with all the other annual medical tests.
The notion that a man should not be ordered to pay child support because the woman decides to have the kid is, as another poster so eloquently stated, asinine. The same men that actually believe this wouldn't even consider a vasectomy as an investment in their own future. It's not like their boys are made of gold... or even an indication of being a MAN. It's one sign of the pussification of males.
It's such a simple way to avoid all this crap, but somehow the thought never enters their heads. Simpletons.
Then you should have an abortion. If your religion forbids abortion, I'm sure it forbids fornication as well. Practice self-control and avoid sex until after marriage.
Or if your personal values endorce fornication but forbid abortion, you should tell upfront any man you sleep with that they have to pay child support for the next 18 years in case you become pregnant accidentally. It's called playing it fair.
It is appalling to me that you pontificate so much about what's right, ad nauseum, but aborting babies conceived out of wedlock is perfectly fine. Objecting to abortion is not just a religious conviction, it can also be a personal one. Do these babies not deserve to be born? A woman should abort the child she may very well be willing and able to raise alone, but that doesn't mean anything. Let's make sure the deadbeat is accomodated because he is all that matters. Mom and baby should suffer because he's a loser. Yeah, that's intelligent.
Aside from this being completely offensive - you imply that men don't know they can get a woman pregnant and we should let them know the OBVIOUS up front or else we aren't "playing it fair". Please.
Then you should have an abortion. If your religion forbids abortion, I'm sure it forbids fornication as well. Practice self-control and avoid sex until after marriage.
Or if your personal values endorce fornication but forbid abortion, you should tell upfront any man you sleep with that they have to pay child support for the next 18 years in case you become pregnant accidentally. It's called playing it fair.
So it's better to be dead than grow up without a father? Oh yeah, death is better.
Living is a gift even if you're not born into perfect circumstances and NONE of us are. While I agree, in principle, that people who don't want kids should not have sex, we're talking about humans here and telling them to get an abortion is just wrong.
It is appalling to me that you pontificate so much about what's right, ad nauseum, but aborting babies conceived out of wedlock is perfectly fine. Objecting to abortion is not just a religious conviction, it can also be a personal one. Do these babies not deserve to be born? A woman should abort the child she may very well be willing and able to raise alone, but that doesn't mean anything. Let's make sure the deadbeat is accomodated because he is all that matters. Mom and baby should suffer because he's a loser. Yeah, that's intelligent.
Aside from this being completely offensive - you imply that men don't know they can get a woman pregnant and we should let them know the OBVIOUS up front or else we aren't "playing it fair". Please.
I agree. Abortion is something a woman has to live her entire life with and that can be difficult. I have a friend who had one at 18 and has never been able to forgive herself. Every anniversary of the baby's due date and the abortion turns her into emotional mush. For years, she tried to drown what she did in a bottle. When you look at the stats for aborted women, it's appalling this procedure is legal. Anything else with as many things that can go wrong (including that most most women suffer psychological issues due to aborting), would have been banned long ago.
Post aborted women are more likely to be alcoholics (sorry but it's like 2 or 3 times more likely), they're more likely to become child abusers later (theory says they, mentally, reduce the value of children since they killed one and threw it away) and a high percentage of them suffer from psychological issues due to having aborted. Not to mention that abortion can reult in more medical issues than giving birth.
BTW, I was concieved under less than desirable circumstances. I'm glad passthechocolate wasn't making the rules for my mom. In spite of everything, I'm glad to be alive. I hate that the pro-abortion crowd uses cases of rape as the reason abortion should be legal. I'm just as human as the rest of you in spite of my beginnings. I give my mom credit. She could have sought an illegal abortion but didn't. The thought never crossed her mind.
I am, in general, anti-abortion except when it's to save the life of the mother (which is a VERY RARE occurance, the vast majority of women will not die if they continue a pregnancy.). If a human life isn't worth 9 months of inconvenience to another human (pregnancy is not a permanent condition all you have to do is wait and you'll have your body back), then what is it worth?
I love the argument that we're misleading men. That sex can lead to pregnancy should come as no surprise to any man.
Because he doesn't feel like dealing with her and her drama, that's why.
He and I have 2 kids together and he spends his time being their daddy, instead of going through the bull**** to see the kid he has with his ex.
It would scare to be married to a man who could allow money and an ex come between himself and his own children. It is such a weak argument, why do you fall for it? Even the judge is telling him to "man up." With such a poor track record, let's hope your husband doesn't stop being your kid's daddy if you two part ways.
Getting accidentally pregnant, keeping the baby, and demanding child support is sooooo teenager-ish these days when there are plenty of BC’s available. It almost looks like a desperate attempt to ensnare an unwilling man into marriage. The man you sleep with may want to have kids with a woman he loves “within marriage”. Obviously you are not “that special woman”. He is just using your body to satisfy his physical needs because you allow him to.
The reason you don’t want to tell a guy upfront that you don’t believe in abortion, and as such, he would be paying child support for the next 18 years if you should get accidentally pregnant is because you know very well that most men won’t touch you under those conditions. So what? You hold out for the right guy to come along. It’s better than letting guys take advantage of your body to satisfy their carnal desires and discard you like trash when they are bored with you. Remember, men will respect you only as much as you respect yourself.
If you don’t believe in abortion, that’s your value. I respect that. But then you shouldn’t be sleeping around before marriage, that is, if you want to provide your children with a father, a mother and a stable home. Yes, life is not perfect. But at least you should strive to provide as perfect a situation as possible for innocent children coming out of your womb. Engaging in pre-marital sex and taking risks of pregnancy don’t seem like you are making an effort in that direction.
Last edited by lauren123; 01-18-2009 at 09:56 AM..
Getting accidentally pregnant, keeping the baby, and demanding child support is sooooo teenager-ish these days when there are plenty of BC’s available. It almost looks like a desperate attempt to ensnare an unwilling man into marriage. The man you sleep with may want to have kids with a woman he loves “within marriage”. Obviously you are not “that special woman”. He is just using your body to satisfy his physical needs because you allow him to.
The reason you don’t want to tell a guy upfront that you don’t believe in abortion, and as such, he would be paying child support for the next 18 years if you should get accidentally pregnant is because you know very well that most men won’t touch you under those conditions. So what? You hold out for the right guy to come along. It’s better than letting guys take advantage of your body to satisfy their carnal desires and discard you like trash when they are bored with you. Remember, men will respect you only as much as you respect yourself.
If you don’t believe in abortion, that’s your value. I respect that. But then you shouldn’t be sleeping around before marriage, that is, if you want to provide your children with a father, a mother and a stable home. Yes, life is not perfect. But at least you should strive to provide as perfect a situation as possible for innocent children coming out of your womb. Engaging in pre-marital sex and taking risks of pregnancy don’t seem like you are making an effort in that direction.
People do all kinds of things they shouldn't do. Humans are not perfect. Once something like an unwanted pregnancy happens, all you can do is make the best of the situation.
And you can take all the precautions and still end up there. I know a woman whose husband had a vasectomy and they got a little surprise a year later. Unfortunately, he accused her of cheating and they ended up divorced. DNA, during the divorce proceedings, proved it was his child. Which goes to show you can be married and taking precautions and still end up with a single parent with an unplanned child.
The human sex drive is very strong. It's asking a lot to tell people they must abstain. Think about it. We're, biologically, programmed to seek a mate and form our own family. Throughout history we married shortly after puberty. Now our kids go through puberty at younger and younger ages and we ask them to get through college before they marry. Used to be you had a year or two between puberty and marriage to abstain. Now we're talking a decade or two. That's a long time to fight hormones.
I'm not saying people shouldn't try it's just it's not likely to happen. How many 20 year old virgins do you know? What people need to do is accept the responsibilities that come their way through their own actions. Courts need to enforce child support. It's too bad they can't enforce parenting.
You're always going to have unmarried people having sex. The thing to do is raise them to understand that they are responsible for their own actions. Unfortunately, we have a generation of entitled young people who think everyone else should cater to them so too many of them don't. Some do and they're good role models for the rest.
It would scare to be married to a man who could allow money and an ex come between himself and his own children. It is such a weak argument, why do you fall for it? Even the judge is telling him to "man up." With such a poor track record, let's hope your husband doesn't stop being your kid's daddy if you two part ways.
I aggree. I'd be afraid he'd do the same to me and my kids. We tend to be stupid about these things though. My husband was a single father with custody of two of his three kids whe we met yet it surprised me that he suggested I take one girl and he the other when we were divorcing.
His custody situations was complicated. His ex was attached to only one of their children, the one she took (the middle child), and he didn't feel he could handle three kids by himself so he didn't go after custody of the third child. So it really surprised me that he wanted to divide up our kids but given that's what he did the first time around, it should not have surprised me.
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