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I just woke up, came downstairs, checked my e-mail and just about flipped out. There was an e-mail from my ex-fiance in my inbox. Now, this is the guy who I loved more than anything and ripped my heart out by leaving me less than three weeks before our wedding, and married someone else four months later.
What he said was basically, I hope you're not offended that I'm writing you. I hope enough time has passed to be over the bitterness. I'm in Afghanistan for the next six months, just wanted to see how you're doing. blah blah blah.
WTF??? Should I write him back and tell him to eff off, tell him how great and wonderful my life is, or just ignore him. Or, should I just send a friendly e-mail back? I don't want to get dragged into some sort of relationship again, even a friendship, because of how bad he hurt me. I'm crying as I write this even though it's been over two years since our break up, and about a year and a half since our last contact, obviously there are issues that I still have about what happened.
You are still grieving. Totally up to you what to do. What I will say is sometimes when you tell someone exactly how you feel, in detail (easier through a more informal means such as an email) you feel better and it can help vent and the grieving process. Not good to keep it all bottled up inside. Since you see no future with him this could be a healthy option. Although if you already have other people to vent to, it may not be required. Totally up to you. Goodluck.
I just woke up, came downstairs, checked my e-mail and just about flipped out. There was an e-mail from my ex-fiance in my inbox. Now, this is the guy who I loved more than anything and ripped my heart out by leaving me less than three weeks before our wedding, and married someone else four months later.
What he said was basically, I hope you're not offended that I'm writing you. I hope enough time has passed to be over the bitterness. I'm in Afghanistan for the next six months, just wanted to see how you're doing. blah blah blah.
WTF??? Should I write him back and tell him to eff off, tell him how great and wonderful my life is, or just ignore him. Or, should I just send a friendly e-mail back? I don't want to get dragged into some sort of relationship again, even a friendship, because of how bad he hurt me. I'm crying as I write this even though it's been over two years since our break up, and about a year and a half since our last contact, obviously there are issues that I still have about what happened.
I'm sorry to hear that. He's a jerk, he's deployed right now so he has a lot of time (aside from working long hours trying not to get hit by bombs--I know, I've deployed before), anyway he has a lot of time to contemplate on his being a jerk. It's lonely over there too, plus MAYBE things aren't going well at the homefront for him..who knows. I think he's a big jerk and I would tell him to EFF OFF, but that's just me. Ultimately it's up to you.
I just woke up, came downstairs, checked my e-mail and just about flipped out. There was an e-mail from my ex-fiance in my inbox. Now, this is the guy who I loved more than anything and ripped my heart out by leaving me less than three weeks before our wedding, and married someone else four months later.
What he said was basically, I hope you're not offended that I'm writing you. I hope enough time has passed to be over the bitterness. I'm in Afghanistan for the next six months, just wanted to see how you're doing. blah blah blah.
WTF??? Should I write him back and tell him to eff off, tell him how great and wonderful my life is, or just ignore him. Or, should I just send a friendly e-mail back? I don't want to get dragged into some sort of relationship again, even a friendship, because of how bad he hurt me. I'm crying as I write this even though it's been over two years since our break up, and about a year and a half since our last contact, obviously there are issues that I still have about what happened.
Sorry, I don't mean to pour salt in your wound, but sounds like he's just bored. There's no compassion or honesty in this guy's one single cell. Does his wife know he's communicating with you? I hope you finally see him for what he really is... As for emailing back, you can do as you wish. I hope this will give you more closure. You deserve better!
Agree with the others here. This happened to me as well...they guy that had made ME promise to never leave HIM, abruptly went into a serious depression and said he "didn't know what he wanted" anymore. Yeah right...I knew I didn't want THAT and walked out. I never talked to him or saw him, again.
He emailed me about 3 and a half months later, said he hoped I was okay and he was sorry for "all the hurt". I resisted mightily emailing him back with some snappy reply. In the end, I decided it was best to leave him to his own company, and I deleted the email without replying. I think you should do the same.
I'm resisting replying to him right now until my head is clear enough. I may just ignore it, but I'd really like to tell him off.
I just don't get how he can just send a chit-chatty e-mail, like all the hurt can just be swept under the rug.
His b**** of a wife is probably too busy with her own life to be supportive of him while he's deployed and he knows how great I was to him when he was in Iraq when we were together.
I specifically told him to not contact me again in August 2007, when he sent me a friendly, just to say Hi e-mail. I told him then that he hurt me too much for me to ever be friends with him. Why would he think another year, or ten years, would change that?
I'm resisting replying to him right now until my head is clear enough. I may just ignore it, but I'd really like to tell him off.
I just don't get how he can just send a chit-chatty e-mail, like all the hurt can just be swept under the rug.
His b**** of a wife is probably too busy with her own life to be supportive of him while he's deployed and he knows how great I was to him when he was in Iraq when we were together.
I specifically told him to not contact me again in August 2007, when he sent me a friendly, just to say Hi e-mail. I told him then that he hurt me too much for me to ever be friends with him. Why would he think another year, or ten years, would change that?
personally I would block the email addy it comes from and delete it. DOn't let him get any more under your skin. He's rented space in your head for way to long. Ignore it and the blocked addy will send all the message he needs......
Tropic...don't give in to the temptation. Believe me, your silence will be the strongest message you can send. Block his addie, as suggested. Otherwise you'll never move on. And that is what you need to do.
I would email him back but only to ask that he not contact you again and to tell him you will delete any further emails from him and then do so without even opening them.
All he seems to care about is alleviating his own boredom. I'm sorry he was/is such a jerk but consider yourself lucky. You could have married him and then he'd be sending emails to an ex behind your back. As much as it hurt/hurts, he did you a favor.
I just woke up, came downstairs, checked my e-mail and just about flipped out. There was an e-mail from my ex-fiance in my inbox. Now, this is the guy who I loved more than anything and ripped my heart out by leaving me less than three weeks before our wedding, and married someone else four months later.
What he said was basically, I hope you're not offended that I'm writing you. I hope enough time has passed to be over the bitterness. I'm in Afghanistan for the next six months, just wanted to see how you're doing. blah blah blah.
WTF??? Should I write him back and tell him to eff off, tell him how great and wonderful my life is, or just ignore him. Or, should I just send a friendly e-mail back? I don't want to get dragged into some sort of relationship again, even a friendship, because of how bad he hurt me. I'm crying as I write this even though it's been over two years since our break up, and about a year and a half since our last contact, obviously there are issues that I still have about what happened.
Sounds like he's in a very uncomfortable place in his life (literally and possibly emotionally) and he's rethinking past decisions. Hmmmmm....he's fishing honey, do you want to be baited like this?
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Should I write him back and tell him to eff off, tell him how great and wonderful my life is, or just ignore him. Or, should I just send a friendly e-mail back? I don't want to get dragged into some sort of relationship again, even a friendship, because of how bad he hurt me. I'm crying as I write this even though it's been over two years since our break up, and about a year and a half since our last contact, obviously there are issues that I still have about what happened.
I resisted mightily emailing him back with some snappy reply. In the end, I decided it was best to leave him to his own company, and I deleted the email without replying. I think you should do the same.
