Husband doesn't like that I keep our place clean (wife, married, women)
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I have our apartment pretty organized. I have boxes for most things and a certain place for most things.
I'm not a stickler on cleanliness. I know how some people can be really anal (like my brother and SIL!). They have everything perfect. I'm not that extreme. But I like things overall pretty clean. I like having no crumbs around, the kitchen clean etc. But my husband is the a complete slob. He drops chips everywhere, peanut shells, tea, mugs all over the place, napkins everywhere etc.
I don't ask even ask him to clean anymore anything, I do it myself, but he gets mad that I do it. I stay out of his office, so it's not like I'm cleaning his stuff. I'm just cleaning up garbage (like dirty napkins, dirty dishes, clothes on the floor, etc). I used to ask him to take out the garbage but he won't do it, so then I just say ok I'll do it. But he gets mad that I do it. He won't take it out, and he doesn't like it when I take it out. So I basically have to wait till he's not around then I can get rid of the trash! It's really strange. I tried just leaving it to see if he'll eventually do it on his own, but I ended up w/ 3 large kitchen trash bags overflowing and then the bugs started coming and it was smelling really bad, so obviously he won't do it. I can't win. I don't know what to do.
This is such a small thing I know. I do all the cleaning and have no issues about doing all the cleaning (except the garbage which is the only thing I wish he'd do but even that I am doing it). But why am I getting put down by him for keeping a clean place? What should I do?
I have our apartment pretty organized. I have boxes for most things and a certain place for most things.
I'm not a stickler on cleanliness. I know how some people can be really anal (like my brother and SIL!). They have everything perfect. I'm not that extreme. But I like things overall pretty clean. I like having no crumbs around, the kitchen clean etc. But my husband is the a complete slob. He drops chips everywhere, peanut shells, tea, mugs all over the place, napkins everywhere etc.
I don't ask even ask him to clean anymore anything, I do it myself, but he gets mad that I do it. I stay out of his office, so it's not like I'm cleaning his stuff. I'm just cleaning up garbage (like dirty napkins, dirty dishes, clothes on the floor, etc). I used to ask him to take out the garbage but he won't do it, so then I just say ok I'll do it. But he gets mad that I do it. He won't take it out, and he doesn't like it when I take it out. So I basically have to wait till he's not around then I can get rid of the trash! It's really strange. I tried just leaving it to see if he'll eventually do it on his own, but I ended up w/ 3 large kitchen trash bags overflowing and then the bugs started coming and it was smelling really bad, so obviously he won't do it. I can't win. I don't know what to do.
This is such a small thing I know. I do all the cleaning and have no issues about doing all the cleaning (except the garbage which is the only thing I wish he'd do but even that I am doing it). But why am I getting put down by him for keeping a clean place? What should I do?
Sounds like your husband is a lazy, abusive, slob. You should drop the garbage bags and pick up your suitcases.
Sit him down, and without making accusations or insulting him, just tell him how you feel. If you do it in the right way, you may get to the bottom of why he seemingly likes to be dirty and doesn't appreciate your efforts. If you do it in the wrong way, you'll just start an argument and probably get nothing productive accomplished from the conversation.
Example:
Instead of saying "you always do this" or "you never do that", try starting with "I feel" and "It seems like" or "I don't understand why", which are more expressions of your perspective than outright blame.
lol at dean.
It's not outright angry, it's more agitation and annoyance.
He just doesn't feel a house is lived in , if it's clean. He thinks living is having the house messy. It's just difference of how we like to live I guess. But I don't really have a desire to live with bugs around the garbage, trash on the floor, cardboard boxes from packages all over the apartment, etc. He has limited it to his office for the most part now, but he starts to spill out around the house and it just gets gross. I avoid his office as much as possible, bc it's just nasty. And I figure let him have one room. But I go in there occassionaly to at least pick up crumbs, dirty plates, old food etc.
It's just weird, is it that difficult for someone to live in a clean place? Why would someone not like that?
I'll ask him tomorrow or sunday maybe like orange suggested.
Looks to me like he doesn't want you taking out the garbage because it makes him look like a dud, but he's too lazy to do anything about it. Just my take on it.
I have our apartment pretty organized. I have boxes for most things and a certain place for most things.
I'm not a stickler on cleanliness. I know how some people can be really anal (like my brother and SIL!). They have everything perfect. I'm not that extreme. But I like things overall pretty clean. I like having no crumbs around, the kitchen clean etc. But my husband is the a complete slob. He drops chips everywhere, peanut shells, tea, mugs all over the place, napkins everywhere etc.
I don't ask even ask him to clean anymore anything, I do it myself, but he gets mad that I do it. I stay out of his office, so it's not like I'm cleaning his stuff. I'm just cleaning up garbage (like dirty napkins, dirty dishes, clothes on the floor, etc). I used to ask him to take out the garbage but he won't do it, so then I just say ok I'll do it. But he gets mad that I do it. He won't take it out, and he doesn't like it when I take it out. So I basically have to wait till he's not around then I can get rid of the trash! It's really strange. I tried just leaving it to see if he'll eventually do it on his own, but I ended up w/ 3 large kitchen trash bags overflowing and then the bugs started coming and it was smelling really bad, so obviously he won't do it. I can't win. I don't know what to do.
This is such a small thing I know. I do all the cleaning and have no issues about doing all the cleaning (except the garbage which is the only thing I wish he'd do but even that I am doing it). But why am I getting put down by him for keeping a clean place? What should I do?
Shouldn't you be sitting him down and having this conversation with him?
I know a lot of women who have the conversation with the spouse in their heads and then grow to resent them when no changes are made, etc, all the while the spouse didn't even know the problem was really that big.
I'm one of those organized people like your brother and SIL. Can't help it. Difference being, I'm married to a clean and organized person. Not as clean and organized as myself... but he "humors"me, if you will, and has no problems when I implement a new "organizing" thing around the house.
Sit him down and see if there's a happy compromise! A "meeting in the middle" kind of thing.
And if your cleaning and organizing takes away from your "couple time", maybe you could get some stuff done when he's not there, etc. Kinda do your cleaning when he's not around and when he gets home, focus your attention on him.
And if that doesn't work... sign up to do Wife Swap and let him live with your polar opposite for 2 weeks! He'll be happy to have ya back!
I have our apartment pretty organized. ... What should I do?
Has he always been that way? Getting mad that someone else is cleaning? What happens if you do it when he's not there?
Maybe you could dress as a French maid and see if he changes his tune...
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