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How do we relate to each other when viewed through our windshields? Is it different than we act in an regular interpersonal encounter? Why is there seemingly such a disconnect between how we behave inside and outside of our vehicles?
I have found it very interesting how starkly different some people can be when they are driving in their vehicle as compared to when they are out of it, completely neglecting the responsibility to use the vehicle without causing needless risk to others around them.
Recently, I was at my brother's and playing with the children in their front yard on a street that has a 25 mph speed limit. The house is set back from the road, and there is a gentle curve in the road, making for some slightly blind sight angles. I noticed a neighbor's vehicle driving at a high rate of speed up and down the road a few times over the course of our playing, and I know to which house the vehicle belongs, vaguely having met the people who live there a couple of times. I thought that this display of driving at least 40-45mph, in an Escalade no less, on this road was the handy work of one of their teenagers until I saw the father of the family driving like this.
Fast forward a couple of weeks when I am again playing with the children and witness the same behavior. I asked a neighbor about this situation and if it was common, which she said that it was, but that she did not know if anyone had said anything about it to them. Well, I am not one to back down, especially when there are several houses with small children (under 10 years old) and pets who live in relatively close proximity to my brother's house, so I saw the guy outside and walked over to talk to him about the situation. At first, not knowing that I had seen him do this, he was going to have a talk with his teenagers about their reckless driving habits, but when I pointed out that I witnessed him doing this he became completely defensive.
I explained that I did not come over to start an argument, but that a 6000 lb vehicle at a high rate of speed is absolutely fatal to a child who might be in its path, and that I'd appreciate it if he didn't run down my nieces and nephews, nor their playmates. He backed down and said that he was in control of the vehicle and that he had not had an accident in years of driving. This guy is about 15 years older than I am and is a parent, so I just cannot fathom how he could begin to try to justify such reckless behavior, which was not an isolated incident, since it's a regular pattern of using this roadway as his own personal speedway.
Now, I know some modern vehicles can run very fast and you truly do not know the speed, but it's not that difficult to realize how quickly you are driving on a residential street by occassionally glancing at the speedometer. When I drive in residential neighborhoods, I tend to drive under the speed limit, since to my mind 10 seconds faster to the next stop sign is a small price to pay for potentially having the ability to react in time to save a family's pet, or even their child. Once, my nephew even asked me if something was wrong with my car because it drives so slowly, which I used as an object-lesson about driving in a residential neigborhood.
The point of my long post (sorry about that) is that I do not understand the general disconnect that an otherwise reasonable person has when they get behind the wheel of their vehicle. These people would not ordinarily aim a deadly weapon at another person, even unintentionally, yet to my mind when they drive residential streets, in particular, where there are going to be children and pets at high rates of speed for the prevailing conditions, that's exactly what they are doing.
The police have been aware of the issues on this road according to various neighbors, but they can never seem to get tickets written. And, a traffic study was done that showed that many people drive within the speed limit, so it's difficult to get a patrol for one particular vehicle, although the teenagers in that household do tend to drive quickly as well on that road.
Do others find this issue with regard to the lack of accepted responsibility in the way some people drive their vehicles? To me, there is a huge difference between a residential road and a limited-access highway, such that if the same vehicle were traveling at 65-70 mph on the highway with traffic conditions, I would not find it to be as eggregious an issue.
Good suggestion, but from what I understand that's why they had the traffic study, to see if speed bumps would be put in place, but the traffic speed and volume did not warrant it.
Are there other families that have the same concerns as you do? The problem is that most police departments feel that they have more important things to do that set a speed trap for one particular driver. Maybe you can keep a journal of when your neighbor comes speeding home from work. If it's a very regular occurrence and on schedule... maybe you can persuade the police to wait by your house and clock him by radar. I would think that just one speeding ticket could cause him to get into the habit of slowing down in your neighborhood.
I've noticed this too. When I was a kid we played in the streets all the time. These days kids can hardly leave the house and be safe. It's pretty messed up.
Good for you bmwguydc. I applaud you for "confronting" the guy. I've thought about this "disconnect" myself, and have figured it for one of two things. People are either driving with their emotions, (late, angry, happy, carried away by their favorite rock music) and are not mindful of their location and speedometer, or they're arrogant, self-centered bast*rds that don't give a damn about anybody but themselves. The latter translates to cowardice. People have more guts in a three ton moving machine then they do standing on the sidewalk and looking you in the eye.
My husband and I llive on a very steep hill in suburbia. All residential with a big pasture across the street from us. For some reason, people feel that they have to get a running start up this hill even in the summer. The speed limit is 25mph and if anyone EVER hits that I haven't seen it...normally it is 40 and up. Someone further up from us even put their own sign out that said, 25mph PLEASE - SLOW DOWN. I have offered to the police dept. that they can park in my driveway to catch these speeders...no deal.
Last summer, there was a man mowing the lawn down the hill from us...he is our gardener and also works for the woman one house down from us. Well, he was turning his mower to go around the corner into the side street and this young woman whipped around the corner, hit his lawnmower, tore it out of his hands and destroyed it. The police came and I went down to see if he was all right...I saw the whole thing. He was pretty shook up and the policeman made the woman park and he was talking to her "privately" a ways from where we were. He freakin let her go. She had been speeding but blah, blah, blah...the sun got in her eyes. This gardener she hit just turned 71 years old this year. Nice, huh?
THEN....last Fall, my husband and I hear a loud BANG and then see flames across the street from us. Some young man in a pickup truck, again speeding, lost control, hit a fire hydrant on our neighbors lawn and tore the underside out from his truck. Flames everywhere. Thank God no one was hurt.
I do not think that the Police are as steadfast with speeders as they should be and I think you did the right thing talking with your neighbor. Unfortunately, most people will never admit wrong doing when it comes to driving even if they are caught red-handed. The woman above basically could have killed my gardener and now he is in court in a battle for a new mower...that is all he wants. Can you imagine?
Road rage is one of those things that comes to mind. Often (and I'm guilty of this myself) I'll see people going at it from their vehicles flipping one another off, driving aggressively, and leaning on the horn all because someone dared to drive too slow in front of them or pull in front of them without signaling. Have you ever had an argument with someone through your rear view mirror? It's absurd, but I've done it on several occasions. From a bystander we look ridiculous, waving our arms, pointing into the mirror, lip-syncing an argument with a total stranger over something petty. Something we would not be doing if we were standing in line at a grocery store and cut in line. I'll say something to someone who cuts me in line at the market, but I'm not about to start off by giving them the finger and screaming at the top of my lungs, but it's funny how we react so differently in our cars.
I think you live on my street. This would be the guy whose house I see when I look out the window from my den. Drives like a maniac. My husband said something to him and he went off on him about minding his own business. He told him it was his business because our kids play on the street and reminded him that his do too.
You'd think a father could manage to drive the speed limit on his own street.
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How we relate to each other thru windshield
