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OK its time for another round of what should I do, this time with voting !
Scenario: I have known this girl since my jr year at college, shes very attractive and we get along great, but we never went into a relationship. There were the occasional drunken make out sessions but nothing ever came of them, the last one ended with me telling her how I feel about her and her saying she is not ready for another relationship (she had recently broke up with a long term bf after he was caught cheating, the retard).
One of the main problems is we now live in seperate towns post graduation, shes still in Dayton while Im in Cbus. But I would still go and visit and she would come to cbus so we would see each other ~ every month. But the last time I went down was in October and she had a bf, she bascally completely ingnored everything I had told her and doesnt believe I meant them b/c I had been drinking.
Well to add insult to injury she has came down to Cbus a couple times since then, and both times she would call me and say she missed me all that jazz, but come the day shes in town she doesn't answer her phone or return my messages... The last time was in Feb and I have not made contact since, well now she is contacting me again and saying she misses me and whatnot, so what should I do???
she's playing you like a violin. either man up and tell her, IN PERSON, how you feel (without alcohol or drugs) or simply move on. heck, you can even do both if you want. have a take it or leave it attitude. tell her how you feel and then walk away.
OK its time for another round of what should I do, this time with voting !
Scenario: I have known this girl since my jr year at college, shes very attractive and we get along great, but we never went into a relationship. There were the occasional drunken make out sessions but nothing ever came of them, the last one ended with me telling her how I feel about her and her saying she is not ready for another relationship (she had recently broke up with a long term bf after he was caught cheating, the retard).
One of the main problems is we now live in seperate towns post graduation, shes still in Dayton while Im in Cbus. But I would still go and visit and she would come to cbus so we would see each other ~ every month. But the last time I went down was in October and she had a bf, she bascally completely ingnored everything I had told her and doesnt believe I meant them b/c I had been drinking.
Well to add insult to injury she has came down to Cbus a couple times since then, and both times she would call me and say she missed me all that jazz, but come the day shes in town she doesn't answer her phone or return my messages... The last time was in Feb and I have not made contact since, well now she is contacting me again and saying she misses me and whatnot, so what should I do???
PS she is still with the same BF
MATURELY AND CALMLY tell her that you have enjoyed her friendship but were interested in more but it's apparent that things are a bit one-sided.
Me personally, I would say that I think she is great and I'd love to mean more to her but I just don't feel comfortable being in contact with her while she has a serious BF. If she is single in the future and wants to go out on a date, then tell her you'd love to hear from her.
Really, you are devoting a lot of time and energy to this girl and it's going nowhere and it seems like she contacts you when she needs attention or a boost. In the meantime, are you missing other opportunities locally?
I passed up a relationship similar to this when I was your age because I was looking for more and 2 months later I met my future wife. Glad I wasn't wasting my time and missed that opportunity.
Really, you are devoting a lot of time and energy to this girl and it's going nowhere and it seems like she contacts you when she needs attention or a boost. In the meantime, are you missing other opportunities locally?
I passed up a relationship similar to this when I was your age because I was looking for more and 2 months later I met my future wife. Glad I wasn't wasting my time and missed that opportunity.
Thats the thing, I was not wasting anymore time on her. I am out there looking for a new relationship with some success but is it weird that I compare the girls I meet to this girl? I think I am just hung up on this girl that got away thing but I also feel we have spent way too much time being friends ( almost 4 years now) to just let it fizzle into nothing...
And to those saying Im stuck in the friend zone, do the times we made out not count for anything b/c alcohol is involved*??
*were not talking black out drunk, just a few beers/wine
Thats the thing, I was not wasting anymore time on her. I am out there looking for a new relationship with some success but is it weird that I compare the girls I meet to this girl? I think I am just hung up on this girl that got away thing but I also feel we have spent way too much time being friends ( almost 4 years now) to just let it fizzle into nothing...
And to those saying Im stuck in the friend zone, do the times we made out not count for anything b/c alcohol is involved*??
*were not talking black out drunk, just a few beers/wine
I guess what I'm getting at is that you may need to close that door so that emotionally you can move on. Seems like we are thinking the same thing.
So, be her friend and only that. (Seems that is what she wants but doesn't want to hurt you?) OR....if it's too painful...take a break, ask her for some time since "it meant more to you than to her".
Seriously, go forth and date...who knows what might happen.
OK its time for another round of what should I do, this time with voting !
Scenario: I have known this girl since my jr year at college, shes very attractive and we get along great, but we never went into a relationship. There were the occasional drunken make out sessions but nothing ever came of them, the last one ended with me telling her how I feel about her and her saying she is not ready for another relationship (she had recently broke up with a long term bf after he was caught cheating, the retard).
One of the main problems is we now live in seperate towns post graduation, shes still in Dayton while Im in Cbus. But I would still go and visit and she would come to cbus so we would see each other ~ every month. But the last time I went down was in October and she had a bf, she bascally completely ingnored everything I had told her and doesnt believe I meant them b/c I had been drinking.
Well to add insult to injury she has came down to Cbus a couple times since then, and both times she would call me and say she missed me all that jazz, but come the day shes in town she doesn't answer her phone or return my messages... The last time was in Feb and I have not made contact since, well now she is contacting me again and saying she misses me and whatnot, so what should I do???
PS she is still with the same BF
This isn't hard. Yeah, you love her, but you need to love yourself even more. So it boils down to two words: Self Respect.
Essentially, you're chasing after a flighty, self-absorbed woman who can't be bothered with basic courtesies such as returning a phone call. That has to stop. For the first time she did it, it was her fault. The second time she did it, it was your fault.
So here's the deal. If she really misses you and wants you in her life, then she has to take you seriously. Not just in a romantic sense, but in a person-to-person kind of way. She needs to understand how you feel about her, and not just blow it off because your timing was bad.
You are not saying this to pressure her into a relationship, but she needs to know it's out there. And if she insists on hanging with you despite that, then she's encouraging the relationship.
Say it nicely. But say it. And if she can't hack it, what have you really lost?
interesting that its about 50-50 in voting between completely breaking it off and talking to her. Thanks for all the help people and please vote if you haven't already
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