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I’m the first to thank them if they volunteer for OT to help with a busy day. When one of my workers parents got into an accident, I was the only person to actually ask about how his father was doing after the accident. My workers can attest I stand up for them if a customer cusses them out. I make sure they get recognition if a customer compliments them. Believe it or not, im not a total jack$&@ as a boss as is popular opinion here.
Look just because I don’t see eye to eye to having a bunch of baby showers should negate that.
It seems petty. It seems unnecessarily nasty. And it isn't our opinion or us making stuff up. You're the one who says over and over again that X person should get the hell away from you, that you tell people Y is none of their damned business and so on.
If you are only inconsistently supportive, with the nastiness peppered in unpredictably, and then you don't contribute "one penny!!!" to something as simple and friendly as a baby shower, then yes, people are going to be hesitant to come up and yell "Good luck, Diss!" on cue when you're taking a test. Because they don't know if you'll be decent and react normally this time, or whether it will be a bark of "get the hell away from me, my school grades are none of your damned business."
Plus, if you don't give one damned crap that they are about to bring a new tiny person into their lives why should they give one damned crap that you have some test at school or you feel tired?
I couldn’t have put this better than myself. It is just maddening when your coworkers see you barely even to stay awake and work because you slept only 4 hours last night finishing up a paper, to not even get a “good look Diss” when you achieve what you nearly killed yourself for. But to see a coworker have an unplanned pregnancy get showered with $400-500 worth of gifts just because they decided to keep the child and raise it.
I don’t even like getting gifts but having someone be like “I see you” means the world to me.
I "see" you brah. Great going on the Master's! I have been CFBC since I was about 5, I guess you started early too.
To hell with the "Love-Marriage-Baby Carriage" conformists. You do you. With luck you will find a compatible love interest. Till then, don't let down the side.
You do have friends who are watching your progress with pride and satisfaction, if only on the interwebs.
Plus, if you don't give one damned crap that they are about to bring a new tiny person into their lives why should they give one damned crap that you have some test at school or you feel tired?
Well, taking a class, studying for a test, and passing it takes a lot of effort. It's an achievement, a product of invested time and money. With the returns being more of a promise than a guarantee.
Conceiving, bearing, birthing, and raising kid(s), eh... . It's been done by humans since 2 million years ago. (And by other placental mammals since 65 million years ago.) For most of history, people just made and raised kids as the norm (being childfree wasn't an option), and accepted the risks and hardships it carried as par for the course. Nobody expected to be given laurels for doing so.
It's only in the last 50 years that our society elevated pregnancy, birth, parenting to martyr-like heroism, with expected praise to match. Even though today, lots of parents don't even discipline their kids. And yet, childfree people are the ones looked down upon.
Well, taking a class, studying for a test, and passing it takes a lot of effort. It's an achievement, a product of invested time and money. With the returns being more of a promise than a guarantee.
Conceiving, bearing, birthing, and raising kid(s), eh... . It's been done by humans since 2 million years ago. (And by other placental mammals since 65 million years ago.) For most of history, people just made and raised kids as the norm (being childfree wasn't an option), and accepted the risks and hardships it carried as par for the course. Nobody expected to be given laurels for doing so.
It's only in the last 50 years that our society elevated pregnancy, birth, parenting to martyr-like heroism, with expected praise to match. Even though today, lots of parents don't even discipline their kids.
If you think of conceiving in isolation perhaps. But if you and your partner planned-out your lives, optimized your careers, and started saving in preparation for newborn then that's an achievement too. Frankly, I think it's an achievement irrespective of those things. Brining a new life into world, with all the potential bottled-up in that little human being is for many among the greatest achievements of a parent's entire life.
I have an advanced degree as do many here. So what? I got the celebration of my "achievement" (if you can call it that after spending so much money) walking across the stage and later accepting a decent job offer. What else does one need?
If you think of conceiving in isolation perhaps. But if you and your partner planned-out your lives, optimized your careers, and started saving in preparation for newborn then that's an achievement too.
For the most part, our society makes raising a child more difficult than it needs to be. In nature, a human is meant to become marginally self-sufficient at age 3 (hence the terrible twos), and full independent at age 12 (hence the teenage rebellion). It's our society and its laws that turns family homes and our schools into a hybrid of a resort and a prison. It wasn't the case 300, 200, or even 100 years ago. So yeah, today, raising kids is hard. But today, it's also a voluntary choice. So people know what they're getting into, and shouldn't expect praise for it.
Well, taking a class, studying for a test, and passing it takes a lot of effort. It's an achievement, a product of invested time and money. With the returns being more of a promise than a guarantee.
Conceiving, bearing, birthing, and raising kid(s), eh... . It's been done by humans since 2 million years ago. (And by other placental mammals since 65 million years ago.) For most of history, people just made and raised kids as the norm (being childfree wasn't an option), and accepted the risks and hardships it carried as par for the course. Nobody expected to be given laurels for doing so.
It's only in the last 50 years that our society elevated pregnancy, birth, parenting to martyr-like heroism, with expected praise to match. Even though today, lots of parents don't even discipline their kids. And yet, childfree people are the ones looked down upon.
It's a contest? You only get good cheer and good wishes only if someone perceives a certain amount of work?
And by the way, if it's a contest (?????), I've been to school, and I've raised kids. There ISN'T a contest as to which is harder. Kids, hands down. And thousands upon thousands of people have managed to get through school. So...? Lots of people do both of these things, what was the point there?
But of course, none of this was my point in the first place...which you knew. It was: from Dis's descriptions, he is inconsistent and odd in how he interacts with people, gets petty about stuff, and swears, all in response to absolutely ordinary things. So who is going to risk that it is going to be a "bad day" randomly and if they go running up to gush "Good luck on your test!," they'll get barked at? I can see why co-workers would not be enthusiastically coming up to this antisocial, angry individual who yells and swears.
I'm willing to bet that many people at Dis's company do wish one another luck on things like school tests, because they trust one another not to be suddenly verbally abusive, and they are comfortable with one another and feel friendly. And that takes two.
Well, taking a class, studying for a test, and passing it takes a lot of effort. It's an achievement, a product of invested time and money. With the returns being more of a promise than a guarantee.
Conceiving, bearing, birthing, and raising kid(s), eh... . It's been done by humans since 2 million years ago. (And by other placental mammals since 65 million years ago.) For most of history, people just made and raised kids as the norm (being childfree wasn't an option), and accepted the risks and hardships it carried as par for the course. Nobody expected to be given laurels for doing so.
It's only in the last 50 years that our society elevated pregnancy, birth, parenting to martyr-like heroism, with expected praise to match. Even though today, lots of parents don't even discipline their kids. And yet, childfree people are the ones looked down upon.
LOL.
As someone who has experienced graduate school AND pregnancy and childbirth (x2) simultaneously, I'm pretty solid on what's difficult, challenging, physiologically draining, and stressful about each, as well as where each ranks in difficulty. But I'm curious about your particular relevant experience that allows you to knowledgeably weigh in on both.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
It's a contest? You only get good cheer and good wishes only if someone perceives a certain amount of work?
And by the way, if it's a contest (?????), I've been to school, and I've raised kids. There ISN'T a contest as to which is harder. Kids, hands down. And thousands upon thousands of people have managed to get through school. So...? Lots of people do both of these things, what was the point there?
But of course, none of this was my point in the first place...which you knew. It was: from Dis's descriptions, he is inconsistent and odd in how he interacts with people, gets petty about stuff, and swears, all in response to absolutely ordinary things. So who is going to risk that it is going to be a "bad day" randomly and if they go running up to gush "Good luck on your test!," they'll get barked at? I can see why co-workers would not be enthusiastically coming up to this antisocial, angry individual who yells and swears.
I'm willing to bet that many people at Dis's company do wish one another luck on things like school tests, because they trust one another not to be suddenly verbally abusive, and they are comfortable with one another and feel friendly. And that takes two.
The fact that you think I’m stupid enough to actually be verbally abusive to my coworkers and be able to stay employed, shows me it is best if I exit this conversation since it is not based on fact. Goodnight.
As someone who has experienced graduate school AND pregnancy and childbirth (x2) simultaneously, I'm pretty solid on what's difficult, challenging, physiologically draining, and stressful about each, as well as where each ranks in difficulty. But I'm curious about your particular relevant experience that allows you to knowledgeably weigh in on both.
If I bring a child into this world just to get "relevant experience", my guilty conscience would eat me alive. So I'm afraid I'll have to leave this question unanswered.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 09-13-2018 at 09:29 PM..
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. It's been done by humans since 2 million years ago. (And by other placental mammals since 65 million years ago.) For most of history, people just made and raised kids as the norm (being childfree wasn't an option), and accepted the risks and hardships it carried as par for the course. Nobody expected to be given laurels for doing so.
And yet, childfree people are the ones looked down upon.
So I'm afraid I'll have to leave this question unanswered.
