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I feel like ending it all, ending all the pain, i don't want to wake up. I just relocated to find out the man I relocated for is living with another woman and has been lying to me. I know i'm not going to get much sympathy from people here who are aware of my history that's not what I'm here for. i'm just tired of crying and lying in bed and have not been out of my condo for 2 days. I thought i knew him but I don't and i can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked in to this mess. it even gets worse.I have had a pregnancy testing kit still in the bag in my kitchen and I cant make myself take the test because i'm afraid of the results. i've been sleeping day and night on and off. i'm scared and hurt.
First of all...no man is worth ending it all for, trust me....I have been married 3 times and life has not been easy for me either but I kept on going. My first husband was a real JERK and I believed everything he told me, much like you. I was pregnant early on in this marriage and when our son was only 2, me 22 he moved us to Northern Maine miles away from my family and friends. He then proceeded to drink, do drugs, sell drugs and moved us into a nasty old house that he refused to take care of. This guy cheated on me 5 times...gave me an STD that prevented me from ever having anymore kids and I still forgave him. This is a lot to give up for some a-hole, huh? Anyhow, he decides to take off with a married woman and I had just about had enough. I packed everything that wasn't nailed down and could fit in my beat up, bald tired, pontiac and off I went...back home to sanity and raising my son alone.
I remarried....the love of my life from back in "the day"...had been my boyfriend in 7th grade...I was 42 at this time and so was he. He had a massive heart attack at home and died a year after we married. I thought my world was over....cried non stop....it was awful. Three months after this, I am in the hospital with a compete hystorectomy due to a huge mass on my ovary that was being tested for ovarian cancer. Thank God I was ok....talk about being sad!!! THEN....oh yes, the ball keeps rolling...another year later I lose a job I had for 15 years..layoff. So, now I am 44, trying to adjust to a huge hormonal change, widowed and jobless..Cry? YUP alot.
Again, I picked myself up and found another job, adjusted to the meds I was taking and found my present husband at my job. He is the blessing I received for having endured all of the above and the angel in my life. You can't and should not EVER give up. As far as your pregnancy test goes....take it and face the music and when your child is born, your life will be truly a blessed thing...changed, difficult, stressful but beautiful.
You have learned a tough lesson here and I am sure you don't have to be reprimanded or reminded what that lesson is as you are living it. If you have family back "at home", call them and explain what you are going through. Find out if you can come back home and ask for help...you'd be surprised how quickly they will respond...if you don't have family to turn to, you must have a friend you can count on back home, no?
Look, get the crying out of your system you have lost something you loved and do need to mourn the loss but you also need to move forward now and do what is best for you and perhaps the baby you may be expecting. EVERYONE at some point in their life will suffer a loss of some sort, people divorce, break up, parents get old and pass away, we can lose our beloved pets....life isn't fair at all. Remember one thing....God will never give you more weight to bear than he thinks you are capable of shouldering. At one point in my life I screamed "UNCLE" and asked him to take some of it away....he did, he will, you just have to ask.
Ending it all? That's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It would be just one more bad decision in a chain of bad decisions. Instead, really start using your head here and figure out the wisest course of action for you.
Take the test and what ever you do do not give up.If you are pregnant there is help out there for that.If you are not pregnant then you could look at it as a bad lesson in life and move on.I agree with Connecticut Pam call family,friends there is always some one to help you.Hang in there and look after you first.
Living on this rock for more than a few years will teach anyone a few hard lessons. What defines your character is how you handle the situation. Pull yourself together. You are a person of worth and value. No matter what the outcome of the pregnancy test, you must keep living. I am sure there is someone out there for you. Score one for the bad guys. Time to return the favor by bouncing back stronger than before. Let this guy guy see you doing well. Let him feel sick because he chose her.
[quote=Connecticut Pam;8316928]First of all...no man is worth ending it all for, trust me....I have been married 3 times and life has not been easy for me either but I kept on going. My first husband was a real JERK and I believed everything he told me, much like you. I was pregnant early on in this marriage and when our son was only 2, me 22 he moved us to Northern Maine miles away from my family and friends. He then proceeded to drink, do drugs, sell drugs and moved us into a nasty old house that he refused to take care of. This guy cheated on me 5 times...gave me an STD that prevented me from ever having anymore kids and I still forgave him. This is a lot to give up for some a-hole, huh? Anyhow, he decides to take off with a married woman and I had just about had enough. I packed everything that wasn't nailed down and could fit in my beat up, bald tired, pontiac and off I went...back home to sanity and raising my son alone.]
To the OP: see? Someone else had it worse. Way worse. And survived.
So can you.
Guys come and guys go. You probably dodged a bullet with this one. Look on the bright side. You're actually quite lucky.
Well, not to pile on here, but maybe now you'll start listening to the advice people give you. I mean, we all tried our best to help you months ago. Instead of listening, you tried arguing with us, walked away from the board with the promise never to come back, and now look where that got you.
Some people come by common sense naturally. Others need it knocked into them by life. Others gain it by listening to others. I recommend #3 to you at this point, because #1 didn't happen, and #2 just isn't much fun.
We're ready to help you out. But first, you need to help yourself. Get back home. Stop living your life based on the whim of the moment. Get your head together. And figure out what you're going to do with your life. It's really the only way.
I feel like ending it all, ending all the pain, i don't want to wake up. I just relocated to find out the man I relocated for is living with another woman and has been lying to me. I know i'm not going to get much sympathy from people here who are aware of my history that's not what I'm here for. i'm just tired of crying and lying in bed and have not been out of my condo for 2 days. I thought i knew him but I don't and i can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked in to this mess. it even gets worse.I have had a pregnancy testing kit still in the bag in my kitchen and I cant make myself take the test because i'm afraid of the results. i've been sleeping day and night on and off. i'm scared and hurt.
First of all, don't do it. Why not? Because you never know what's coming, that's why not. We've most of us been there, and as CPG said it would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
You need to shock yourself. Depression is like a broken record playing the same line over and over again. Break the cycle. Have the audacity to find hope even in a dire situation. Did you know that the Chinese use the same symbol for disaster as they do opportunity? Of course, right? When are we more capable of miracles than when we see no way out? Because that is when all options are on the table. Our frame of reference is new, and therefore complete with a new set of possibilities.
If you have the finances I'd say get yourself the hell out of wherever you just relocated to. Put your condo up for sale and seek out those that love you, wherever they are. Take the time to rebuild yourself inside and out. Let go of old habits, you are a clean slate. Just one thought I'd like to hit you with... If you are pregnant, it could be a blessing. If you accept the responsibilities as a gift, nothing will give you a reason to live like becoming a parent. You will have no choice but to live, to find meaning in an absurd world, to find hope.
Hope is what it's all about. Please be well, please take care of yourself, and remember, no matter how down we perceive ourselves to be at any time, we are never that far from righting ourselves. Hope is always just a few short steps away.
This probably feels like the darkest day for you and you have EVERY right to grieve but don't let it get the better of you -- that means that HE and others like him WIN! Please, please, value yourself more than this piece of work and take good care of yourself, OK?!
I know it's cliche, but I'll say it anyway -- the best revenge is living WELL. Live life to the fullest for youself and, if you are pregnant, for your child. This man is a pit-dweller and apparently a user. More's the pity because one day HE will find himself being the one who is all used up. But you have the opportunity, starting today, to embark on a new life with a slew of new adventures. Don't ever lose hope!
I feel like ending it all, ending all the pain, i don't want to wake up. I just relocated to find out the man I relocated for is living with another woman and has been lying to me. I know i'm not going to get much sympathy from people here who are aware of my history that's not what I'm here for. i'm just tired of crying and lying in bed and have not been out of my condo for 2 days. I thought i knew him but I don't and i can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked in to this mess. it even gets worse.I have had a pregnancy testing kit still in the bag in my kitchen and I cant make myself take the test because i'm afraid of the results. i've been sleeping day and night on and off. i'm scared and hurt.
Always remember life is like reading a book
Although your going through a bad chapter
You still have to see how this book ends
I'm sure your book will have a happy ending
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I hope you take the advice and call someone because he's definitely not worth your life. Take care!
