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I feel that is more about good communication, consideration for your partner's feelings and also compromise.
One partner telling or indicating to the other one that they want sex is just sharing a feeling. The other partner saying that they aren't in the mood for it is just making an honest reply. Now they have to decide how to deal with their conflicting desires.
Now if the horny partner gets turned down, then the next option could be trying to be more persuasive. Perhaps a back or foot rub given affectionately could be an option. Or offering to run a hot bubble bath for that said tired partner. And that could turn into cuddling. The other partner feeling good from the massages might then be more in the mood for some nookie.
Otherwise this scenario is more often about a man wanting sexual favours on a regular basis from his s/o or wife. Men are just predictibly horny, ofren and on schedule. And I am sympathetic to my boyfriend's needs. But fortunately we both are more desirous of "making love" that treating it as sex, so it's never seen as a spousal duty. For us, making love is a form of physical affection. It's not a matter of "honey, I'm horny so how about some sex?" Because that would get old after a while and he wouldn't be getting much of it. And the massage technique does work really well for him. He gives great body massages, especially foot rubs!
When your SO is showing signs that they are interested in intimacy do you think it is selfish to turn them down?
I mean, they are needing something and you are saying, "Nope. Sorry, ain't gonna happen."
Obviously there are times of the month this isn't an option but other than that would it be selfish because YOU are too tired or YOU have to work in the morning or YOU....YOU...YOU. What about THEM THEM THEM??
Depends on how long this goes on. If you are talking about a day or so after the last time you were together; its not selfish. If your saying this is happening for months on end; yes it is very selfish.
Depends on how long this goes on. If you are talking about a day or so after the last time you were together; its not selfish. If your saying this is happening for months on end; yes it is very selfish.
Well if it is being selfish, then the partner wanting the sex is also being selfish for not finding out why their partner is too tired to have sex. Men are problem solvers, and they should see if there is any way to improve the situation for their partner. It could be stress from all sorts of non-relationship factors like work, school and/or raising their family. Sometimes, I don't think that the tired person realizes why they aren't in the mood for sex anymore since they are in the middle of their busy crazy life.
Anyway, a guy never forgets when it's time to have sex since your parts are all on the outside. lol
Ok so here comes the age old question of self responsibility. I am more than willing to help my partner through or with anything. I am not a mind reader and will not be able to anticipate her every need.
So your answer is it is the guys fault for not trying to figure out why she doesnt have the desire to romp about.
I am not going to push poke and prod to try and have sex. I will toss out a few signals if they are not picked up oh well. Better luck next time.
If I found my partner wanting something sexual or not, that I was not providing, I think it is on me to do something about it.
Ok so here comes the age old question of self responsibility. I am more than willing to help my partner through or with anything. I am not a mind reader and will not be able to anticipate her every need.
I hear ya. I think men and women or maybe just people perceive signals differently. I have a direct approach, Hey baby wanna have sex? One morning my bf rolled over and put his hand on my boob, then started snoring. It was morning so I slipped up and made coffe and went about my routine. Later he made a comment that he had wanted to have sex that morning. I didnt know!
No it's not selfish. When I think of selfish I think more on the lines of a lover who only lasts until they are satisfied, and then just roll over and go to sleep without any reciprocation. To me that's selfish. But if she's not in the mood or feeling under the weather I don't want her having sex with me just for me. It's important that she be into it in mind and body.
That is a little vague signal. I would have been giddy if she had rolled over and put her hand on my *stuff* no way I am going to sit there with her snoring in that position. HAhahahaa
I can see where it can perceived as selfish. But you really can't make or expect someone to feel something they don't. And if they don't, they really shouldn't be pressured to. The thing to do at that point is address why.
I was gonna post a snide comment here but decided not to. Sorry.
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I didnt know!
