frustrated, no luck finding a girl (older, kissing, kids, American)

[MTucker]

I met my bf online and we have been together for over a year. It probably takes more effort than most of us like.

[funymann]

Originally Posted by oleo

Went to the bar, lots of bimbos looking to get free drinks. You can't even hear them talk because of the loud music. I'm going back this weekend to try again....I hate pickup lines.

Tried online dating, no luck. I'll message people I find interesting, I can see them looking at my profile and reading about me, but they don't contact me.

Girls in my office, i work at a huge company, lots of diversity and lots of girls - i feel weird in this territory though and care too much about my job to flirt with coworkers...or maybe i should. i try to get up from the cube and just walk around sometimes and see if i see someone in the hall...

University, maybe this is my last hope, to go back to school and find a girl in one of my classes, a smart girl, someone i can discuss something with, without having to use a pickup line...

I just feel like such a loser hanging out at the mall or grocery store trying to pickup girls...

Anyone one else in my situation?

You make this sound like a bad thing.

Dude. Seriously, you need to worry about YOU.

Find something you enjoy.
What do you like to do? Jog, ride bikes? Maybe you enjoy some sort of hobby...model planes? Something must make you happy. What is it?

See, once you find that something you enjoy...you will find her. I like going to football games. There are a ton of people there. I like the beach. There are a ton of people there too.

So find something you enjoy and do that. Don't worry about finding someone.

I bet if you like, less say, garage sales...you will find someone there. I was out this morning hitting the sales at this large subdivision. It was fun and I will tell you there were some hotties walking to the sales. How easy it is to say hi or even to ask, "Have you found any good bargins."

Hope it all works out for you. Find out who YOU are FIRST!!

[dangles]

Originally Posted by rickmahorn

Don't take this the wrong way, but you are coming off as very desperate. That is not an attractive quality for women. Maybe just focus on yourself, becoming more independent, developing a variety of interests you have. The more you develop yourself and your confidence, the more you won't even have to try with girls. Trust me, work on becoming the best, most interesting YOU that you can, and everything should fall into place.

Game over, this is the advice you take to the bank.

To elaborate more on this point, start to develop a healthy social life with good friends. When I moved in with my current room mates, we went out weekends, played sports on week days, and invited people over at every turn. I stopped focusing on women and started focusing on enjoying the single life. I now have a girlfriend, and miss that single life

[lionking]

Get a dog that makes the females go "awwww" and walk him in a park or beach or anywhere women are known to be and let your pooch break the ice for you.

Don't ask me if it works,I never tried it but when I did have dogs alot of women usually liked them and if she is a woman that doesn't like dogs well red flag right there,she is probably a cold b**** anyway.If she doesn't like dogs or cats than really look out.

oh and if all advice given doesn't work just take a vacation to some Carribean or South American local,like Dominican Republic or Costa Rica or something,you'll be swarmed with women,though probably not for love reasons but hey......

[Brandon26pdx]

Originally Posted by MTucker

It probably takes more effort than most of us like.

probably the truest statement I've seen in this whole thread. As much as I hate to admit it, many (myself included) just don't have a natural zest for for dating/relating. Like basketball, it takes all sorts of awkward effort and recognition of, and reaction to, fine nuance to produce any tangible results. (unless you're Lebron James.) Very few women I see or meet anywhere motivate me enough to put myself "through the paces", so to speak. These days life is so distracting you could literally spend a lifetime never meeting anyone you really cared about.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by e.ortega

You will meet a girl when you LEAST EXPECT IT. Normally when your looking for one you meet all the wrong ones but when your not that's when you realize WHY MAYBE I LIKE HER then POOF it happens because you DIDNT EXPECT IT

LET THE UNEXPECTED HAPPEN. And everything else will unravel itself.

I haven't dated since 2002, tired of the crazy dating scene. When i was younger i didn't care, now I spot the losers a mile and the winners are taken. Even when i'm not looking sure men look at me, but don't ask me out or anything. Now they say its even harder to date because of lost of jobs and no one can afford it.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by Morphous01

uaaa, I don't agree with this... First of all i think the guy has some B###S to post on a public form ( where women are) looking for help/ideas because he can't find a girl..

Secondly, young women don't give a ###T about a mans "personal development" and some of them never do which is why trailer trash guys can still get laid... Anyhow, most of what I have seen in the streets are girls responding to cocky, aggressive, and take charge type of guys.

Very true, but I don't think so with older gals...I was young and dumb...but older ladies want friends, nice men, a working man, educated, helpful yet fun too!

[Raena77]

ahaaha totally agree...can you imagine being at grocery store looking for your spices and sauces for spagetti....then some guy says"hey baby want me to be your spice tonight?" lol ewwwwwwww perv written all over him

[Raena77]

the worst place to pick up a guy is the GAP...they just don't want the ladies. lol

[oleo]

update:

I broke up with my girlfriend about 6 weeks ago. I made the mistake of making her my best friend for about 2 years, which was a horrible mistake. I am trying to reconnect with some of my old friends. Right now, I am just trying to fill the void. I get lonely. I get depressed. On top of everything, I recently moved to a new town for a new job. I'm new to the area and don't know anyone outside my group of friends which are my coworkers. I work at a large company and there are a lot of people my age.

For a while my hobbies were music (guitar) and martial arts, but for some reason when I met my girlfriend, they took the backseat. I focused all of my energy on her and left those hobbies. I still find them interesting, I just don't feel the passion anymore though.

I decided to make a list of new things I want to try:

Hiking Club Being new to the area, I think it would be great to go hiking around, explore the area a little and see come nice views. I can also get some exercise and probably meet someone interesting people, hopefully not just senior citizens.

Muay Thai I've done MA before, just not for a couple years. I am rusty, but I think Muay Thai would be fun and would help me get into shape. I have desire to compete or do something like UFC. I just think it would be fun and would help me stay quick on my feet. Probably no direct contact with girls here, but the results could lead to something probably (better shape, better posture, more confidence)

Grad School My goal is to take the GMAT and start part-time grad school in January 2010. I think this will definately help me meet new people, but I've got a while until them. I started looking for a GMAT study group, but no luck so far.

Some of my other hobbies include: eating different kids of food, personal finance/investing, watching good movies and going out to see live music.

I recently thought about buying a PS3, but I felt like a loser at the store being in my mid-20's and still playing video games. Besides, it will just keep me inside more, away from meeting new people. I'm not much into gaming though, some of the games look like they would be fun.

It's just hard to get out there and do something. I'm more of a shy person, but I'm beginning to see that I can't get anything done or even get a word in during a conversation if I'm shy.

Somtimes I don't know what I want, what my hobbies are or even feel like leaving my apartment. sigh...

I'm probably still in heart-break mode or something.