conversation topics - long term type or just curiosity (dates, movies, too young)

[sgsi1988]

I met someone and it seemed we hit it off famously. Seen each other a number times, long conversations on any topic, similar interests and so on. Could not have asked for anything more with someone.

I mean we were talking about things like -
(1) What we wanted in a relationship with each other
(2) What type of house and where we would live
(3) Managing/dealing with the in-laws
(4) Finances, how much we earn and that we had to plan
properly for the future together.

All of a sudden - she decided to break it off. This was a surprise to me because given the conversation topics, I got the impression that she wanted a long term relationship. True we never formalized anything but I had made my intentions clear.

When I raised that point, her reply was that what we discussed were not the topics of a long term relationship but were asked out of interest. In reality, her real reason for leaving was for someone else. Such is life.

However, I would appreciate hearing from other people who have gone through the relationship development to long term committment. And any others with a similar experience.

Would you consider the topics discussed, to be of the long term relationship type? Or is it something that could fall under the curiosity/interesting category? Perhaps it is possible to fall in both areas.

[killer2021]

Yup, happens often. My advice is to don't rush ANYTHING. When you first meet someone, focus ONLY on having fun. Oh and you are 1988, so like 20/21 years old? You are way too young for a serious relationship anyways. Just focus on fun right now.

and yes the topics discussed are very LTR oriented. I don't even bother going anywhere near those topics. She is the one who starts those topics and if she does I know where she is trying to push the relationship, to a LTR something which I don't want.

[sgsi1988]

Acutally the 1988 is not age related, more of a graduation area. I didn't really rush anything - it was fast moving on both sides. Sometimes when something catches you off guard, you start to second guess yourself.

Thanks for the insight.

[nuala]

You didn't say how many dates you had, but all those topics are sounds heavy to me... I am surprised that I'm agreeing with Killer - I personally wouldn't fathom these topics at the beginning.... it's more about fun and about "do I like you? do you like me? movies? songs? dreams?" type of light stuff.