husband caught looking at porn. (spouse, couples, therapist, alcoholic)
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I'd rather not be in a relationship with someone who has a high regard for porn. Or strip clubs for that matter. To me, porn and strip clubs are nearly equal in terms of debatability. One thing that bothers me about porn, though, is that women can't respond to the guy's 'advances.'
Contrary to popular belief, I do know some guys who like neither. I know some guys who enjoy those things, too, and I don't judge them for it, but I wouldn't want to be in an intimate relationship with them. On the other side of the window, I've also had some female friends who were strippers and I really like the idea of women making money (or power) off of a long history of degradation. It cracks me up. I just don't want it to be the guy I'm with who participates in that degradation. In reality, while it's degrading for women as a whole, it's not degrading for the women who make money off of it. The joke is on the men.
I'm glad you posted this question, OP. I've always been curious as to what percentage of people think it's 'normal.' I think they think it's 'normal' because they're used to the idea of women's physiques being over-emphasized, their value being objectified, and their response-ability dismissed.
I'd rather not be in a relationship with someone who has a high regard for porn. Or strip clubs for that matter. To me, porn and strip clubs are nearly equal in terms of debatability. One thing that bothers me about porn, though, is that women can't respond to the guy's 'advances.'
Contrary to popular belief, I do know some guys who like neither. I know some guys who enjoy those things, too, and I don't judge them for it, but I wouldn't want to be in an intimate relationship with them. On the other side of the window, I've also had some female friends who were strippers and I really like the idea of women making money (or power) off of a long history of degradation. It cracks me up. I just don't want it to be the guy I'm with who participates in that degradation. In reality, while it's degrading for women as a whole, it's not degrading for the women who make money off of it. The joke is on the men.
I'm glad you posted this question, OP. I've always been curious as to what percentage of people think it's 'normal.' I think they think it's 'normal' because they're used to the idea of women's physiques being over-emphasized, their value being objectified, and their response-ability dismissed.
I don't see them as the same thing. Going into a public place and looking at strippers or dancers is far different than someone "exploring" on the net. I think (and this is my own projection here) that a lot of men might want different things, so they look on the net out of curiosity and need. It is far different than a guy who wants to glorify and validate his masculinity by going to a strip club and have some dancer wink at him, and of course, he pays for the wink with money.
I think a lot of people want to explore their sexuality. A lot of people have done just that, and know what turns them on and what they want.
I'd rather not be in a relationship with someone who has a high regard for porn. Or strip clubs for that matter. To me, porn and strip clubs are nearly equal in terms of debatability. One thing that bothers me about porn, though, is that women can't respond to the guy's 'advances.'
Contrary to popular belief, I do know some guys who like neither. I know some guys who enjoy those things, too, and I don't judge them for it, but I wouldn't want to be in an intimate relationship with them. On the other side of the window, I've also had some female friends who were strippers and I really like the idea of women making money (or power) off of a long history of degradation. It cracks me up. I just don't want it to be the guy I'm with who participates in that degradation. In reality, while it's degrading for women as a whole, it's not degrading for the women who make money off of it. The joke is on the men.
I'm glad you posted this question, OP. I've always been curious as to what percentage of people think it's 'normal.' I think they think it's 'normal' because they're used to the idea of women's physiques being over-emphasized, their value being objectified, and their response-ability dismissed.
Good points. Maybe someone should start a poll to see what percentage of people dislike porn.
And I also think some women think "My gosh, aren't my great looks enough for him??"
No, more like we want to be enough for our husbands. When he needs to look at someone else to get in the mood, it's a real ego buster for us. We know we don't measure up to his fantasy. No one wants to be second choice.
The world of lust and wonder didn't stop when you got married, so it should be understandable that a man may much rather enjoy porn, in the secrecy of his own house, and get out of it, whatever he may...as opposed to possibly going out and physically cheating on you! JMO....but I do also think that that is something you want to do, when your SO is not around...
And I also think some women think "My gosh, aren't my great looks enough for him??"
I asked my husband that today, actually (due to this thread). His responses are always the same. There is no better looking woman lol and if we didn't have dry spells, he'd have no interest. He also noted that he wouldn't if I asked, so I like that. But, that's just how our marriage goes, it's a rarity and I'm blessed for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyMark_AZ
The world of lust and wonder didn't stop when you got married, so it should be understandable that a man may much rather enjoy porn, in the secrecy of his own house, and get out of it, whatever he may...as opposed to possibly going out and physically cheating on you! JMO....but I do also think that that is something you want to do, when your SO is not around...
I don't think justifying viewing porn as an alternative to cheating should even come up. Not with adults at least. Something else is going wrong in a marriage if cheating arises.
As an aside, I'm pretty amazed at the knee-jerk disrespect response when discussing marriage (in this thread, generally).
No, more like we want to be enough for our husbands. When he needs to look at someone else to get in the mood, it's a real ego buster for us. We know we don't measure up to his fantasy. No one wants to be second choice.
Guess what, no one is. People have fantasy lives in their heads.
Now, I am against a guy looking at a woman in public and pointing her out to his wife or girlfriend. I am not advocating that.
When you say you want him to look at you to get in the mood, it might not be about you or a person. It might be about an act, a thing, something he wants or wants to do.
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Lol...
