Leadership in a Marriage (wives, women, love, single)
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Only one steering wheel. Who ever takes the wheel is held responsible for anything and everything that happens.
but that isn't the way it should be?
for example...there are something you are not good at, therefore, she would have to lead, but visa versa, in other things, you would have to lead.
I think a marriage and leadership go together....
A leader knows when to keep his mouth shut and listen, a good leader knows, not to point fingers of blame...he/she also knows, what it takes to work together as a team...he/she is fully aware of the feelings of others and the needs of others...as well as, when to lead, and when to step back and allow.
Depending on the issue at hand, leadership should switch between the two of you. Example: my SO is not good with dealing with financials, so I take care of that...he's clueless about our money and for whatever reason, likes it that way. He leads in the issue of home repairs and which ones should be addressed first. He knows more about that kind of stuff than what I do...so that's his "baby". Of course we both include each other with the big decisions on all issues, but we each lead for different issues.
Depending on the issue at hand, leadership should switch between the two of you. Example: my SO is not good with dealing with financials, so I take care of that...he's clueless about our money and for whatever reason, likes it that way. He leads in the issue of home repairs and which ones should be addressed first. He knows more about that kind of stuff than what I do...so that's his "baby". Of course we both include each other with the big decisions on all issues, but we each lead for different issues.
There you go, that is absolutely right...all within reason....
for example...there are something you are not good at, therefore, she would have to lead, but visa versa, in other things, you would have to lead.
I think a marriage and leadership go together....
A leader knows when to keep his mouth shut and listen, a good leader knows, not to point fingers of blame...he/she also knows, what it takes to work together as a team...he/she is fully aware of the feelings of others and the needs of others...as well as, when to lead, and when to step back and allow.
A good example of leadership is the movie "Fugitive." Through the whole movie the chief of police or FBI is directing the hunt. Everything is done in a way that follows his lead. Some of the people tell him they are going to do something and if he views that as a good idea he will allow that direction to take place. If he disagrees then he will tell them. They all follow to make things work. The other movie is kinda kids play but in the movie "Bugs life" the grasshopper calls out the new ant in charge. When she tries to shift the blame he interrupts her and says, "Rule #1. "Under new management, Everything is your fault."
So a wife would be a helper to her husband. If he was to direct the family a certain way then she would support that. If she suggests another way and gives reasons for the change then he has the option to reject or accept your advice (In private and away from the children if any)
If the husband is not at home and working then the mother has the role of authority like vice-president. She takes over the head of the house but would not do things that she knows her husband would disapprove of or it would bring confusion to the children.
Every family needs authority. If you challenge authority you will watch the children go nuts!!
I don't know about other wives, but I don't have a single problem with my husband being the leader of our family.
That's how it is supposed to be.
It isn't like I don't have ANY say in what goes on, but the final say is his.
Not too popular of an ideal to have in the age of feminism and beyond, but I feel like it has helped strengthen our marriage and commitment to our family.
Women want equality in marriage to the point that men don't understand why they need to be there anymore.
This is just my honest, general opinion.
I don't know about other wives, but I don't have a single problem with my husband being the leader of our family.
That's how it is supposed to be.
It isn't like I don't have ANY say in what goes on, but the final say is his.
Not too popular of an ideal to have in the age of feminism and beyond, but I feel like it has helped strengthen our marriage and commitment to our family.
Women want equality in marriage to the point that men don't understand why they need to be there anymore.
This is just my honest, general opinion.
I would have give you a rep but I have to spread the love around. You are right and probably are much happier than having a guy sitting on the couch saying, "I don't care, I don't care" instead of standing up and taking the situation of leadership seriously. Like, "What's going on now....?" "O.k.... well, how do you feel about it? Well, I think we should.."
I think leadership is very important in marriage, as it is in any human organization or endevour. For marriage, I think "contextual" leadership works best. Spouses should just pass off the burden of being the decision maker to whoever is the subject matter expert on the matter that needs to be decided on. Going for dinner in NYC? Not sure where to go? Hubby knows the city like the back of his hand? Wife has never been? Looks like it's hubby's night to choose .. and he better not be a little b*tch about it either. He better pick something good.
Driving through Seattle? Hubby's never driven there before. Wife was raised there? Looks like it's wifey's turn to drive. Oh and wifey has a headache? Tough. She better put her big girl panties on and take the keys.
That's how it works for us, anyways. The Army teaches you a couple of useful tricks ... sensible leadership is one of them.
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You are right and probably are much happier than having a guy sitting on the couch saying, "I don't care, I don't care" instead of standing up and taking the situation of leadership seriously. Like, "What's going on now....?" "O.k.... well, how do you feel about it? Well, I think we should.."
