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I use reverse psychology & let him think he's making the decisions.....so he feels he's in control. Then after that, he's open to my suggestions & I can take the steering wheel again! :-)
Exactly... it works for us, and I don't expect it to work for all.
But at the same time, I sometimes wonder if a lot of the "problems" we have in realtionships these days aren't attributed to this idea that everyone has to be equal.
I am not saying my husband is a caveman and drags me around by my hair and I just pop out babies and have dinner waiting on the table when he gets home.
But, when it comes to making sure our family is taken care of, he has the reins.
I think knowing that ultimate responsibility makes him a better man and, and supporting him definitely makes me a better woman and mother.
But, again, it may not be for everyone.
well first of you, you know, as well as I do, nothing is every equal, there is always one in every relationship who gives more then the other...not saying it's a bad thing, it just is....
2nd, an equal relationship would be perfection and man isn't perfect, plus one person's idea of equal, might not be another person's idea of equal. Doen't make either one, right or wrong.
My husband is the head of our household. I don't mind one little bit.
It by no means makes me a whipping post. He consults me about just about everything.
Tell you the truth, I make decisions and have to be the boss all day long. It's nice to go home and turn the reins over to someone else.
As long as both treat the other with respect, there's no reason one can't be the leader.
Hi There,
yes, exactly, it's all about what works for the couple...
Biology (for the most part).
And, to clear up any misconceptions, I am NOT religious, so these ideas aren't based on the Bible.
I just feel like there are certain, unchangable roles that male and female play in the grand scheme of things, and by trying to even those playing fields, we do ourselves a HUGE injustice.
So how would you explain the various cultures that do NOT operate this way?
"Cultures" are not biologically bred in us, they are a product of man.
Uh, yes, but biology is shared by all humans. You said that the role of men and women is based on biology -- if that were true, cultures and societies would pretty much operate the same way because such roles would be innate but that's not the case.
Biology dictates survival of the species in this area but cultures and societal norms establish roles and rules. Some even argue that men tend to be polyamorous because of the biological need/drive to propagate the species and expecting them to be monogamous is contrary to their biology. I'm not saying I agree with that, but that IS a biological argument.
Uh, yes, but biology is shared by all humans. You said that the role of men and women is based on biology -- if that were true, cultures and societies would pretty much operate the same way because such roles would be innate but that's not the case.
Biology dictates survival of the species in this area but cultures and societal norms establish roles and rules. Some even argue that men tend to be polyamorous because of the biological need/drive to propagate the species and expecting them to be monogamous is contrary to their biology. I'm not saying I agree with that, but that IS a biological argument.
But, the first, original "culture" was all one, and given the amount of cultures where the women are the leaders vs. the amount of cultures where the men are the leaders makes me think it is pretty safe to assume that the original culture was based more on what you would find in the majority of the animal kingdom, where the males were in charge. Those cultures where females are in charge would be an offshoot later on down the biological road.
And, for the record, I actually buy into the polyamorous debate as well.
But, I am a biologist not an anthropologist.
too often the driver is not interested in the destination desires of the passenger.
in fact they think they are doing them a favor by driving and making the decisions for them.
that is why we find 1 out of 2 cars in the ditch.
many will swear all drivers are male. if the the car goes in the ditch
the driver is never female, ever.
I use reverse psychology & let him think he's making the decisions.....so he feels he's in control. Then after that, he's open to my suggestions & I can take the steering wheel again! :-)
I've heard about using the reverse psychology with men since forever. Tricking men into thinking that they are the leaders - manipulating them, basically. I could never master the skill, though - I'm too direct. Now I think, it's not that bad. I function better in a straightforward environment, and feel extremely uncomfy with smoke and mirrors. At least I am honest with myself and people around me. Makes some things stressful though... so, there are drawbacks in each approach.
But, the first, original "culture" was all one, and given the amount of cultures where the women are the leaders vs. the amount of cultures where the men are the leaders makes me think it is pretty safe to assume that the original culture was based more on what you would find in the majority of the animal kingdom, where the males were in charge. Those cultures where females are in charge would be an offshoot later on down the biological road.
And, for the record, I actually buy into the polyamorous debate as well.
But, I am a biologist not an anthropologist.
Was there such a thing as marriage when the "culture was all one?" I truly don't know and am now wondering, LOL.
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- I'm too direct. Now I think, it's not that bad. I function better in a straightforward environment, and feel extremely uncomfy with smoke and mirrors. At least I am honest with myself and people around me. Makes some things stressful though... so, there are drawbacks in each approach.
