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Went on a date last night with a guy I met at the car wash, who was also washing his car when I was. Change machine meeting - you know how it goes...
While getting dressed, I panicked. It dawned on me - that the guy was my exact same height....which eliminated several outfits I wanted to wear that are most flattering because the cute shoes that go with them have a 2-1/2" to 3-1/2" heel on them. I ended up wearing something I was only half-happy with that went with something with no heel. I hated it but it was better than feeling my complex too deeply.
This guy has an A+ personality, huge heart, adores the bejeezus out of me, his mind is incredible, awesome sense of humor, he is handsome, great job at the hospital, and wants to take me out again tonight.
BUT!!! - here I am debating on whether or not to cancel because here I am AGAIN looking at my wardrobe and shoes. This time blankly. I have NOTHING to wear with no heel and I am NOT going to be taller than he is - I have HUGE hang-ups about that, I've spoken about it before in threads. I am not going to be tacky and wear flip-flops for an evening date. Hm, unless of course, I request a total casual date and we head to a place to eat off the beach and hang at the beach after or one of the beach bars where I can wear flip flops. But we can't keep doing that every time - and I am not going to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe specialized to go with flats, I do not even like flats - they're so 80's, or I would have a bunch of them.
What would you do IF you had a height complex like I do (and I know a few of you do by your threads) - you find a guy who is so much of what you find desirable and desires you - but you can't get past the height factor and it's affecting what clothes to wear - and if you want to even go out at all. The advice that I should overlook it, won't work, I cannot overlook it.
I already know I am going to be a fool if I let this guy go - but I also know I can't be taller than him because I can't overlook it. He seemed so much taller at the change machine!!!
Help. What would you do beside asking him to walk on his knees???
PS. Same height, and for some reason, I STILL felt taller than him last night. I'm in a pickle. Great guy - and foolish girl???
I wont buy flats, hate them. And a 1" heel will solve 1 date, but I won't keep wearing the same shoes. It's a temporary solution. I have these new cute knee high boots in both brown and black that go with a couple new babydoll dress outfits, those are 2-3/4 heels, cant even wear those outfits out with him because I will look like a total dork if I wear flats with them. I'm not going to go buy a whole new wardrobe to date this guy. I just bought this years Fall/Winter wardrobe.
Not exactly. That's like telling someone to leave someone because the sex is not so hot. I believe leaving is a last resort. There must be some way to get over this or work through it. Advice from others is what I need. If this guy did not have REAL potential, I would not be in such a tizzy - men are a dime a dozen, the rare unique ones that one can find are not. I am certain there is some woman on this site who has been in this situation. I want to know if a woman is 2-3" taller than a guy in shoes, if others notice the height difference as much as the woman does........
If he is as wonderful as you say he is, this shouldn't even be an issue. Maybe he wouldn't give a flying crap if your shoes made you taller then him.
I would be spending way more time enjoying myself and reminding myself how lucky I was to meet someone this wonderful. Shoes wouldn't even be a second thought.
Like I said, I am looking for advice from women who have this same complex and have been in this situation. Fact is, height differences, to many people, are a big issue. Just as some men have issues of being with women who are overweight or taller than him. Same difference. Some may get over it and date outside their norm, I am trying to figure out if I can by this evening. Its not ALL about heels, I stated even in flats last night I still felt taller. Literally all my outfits (babydoll dresses, pants) are made to be with a heel, even most jeans because they are a couple inches longer in length for heels. Its too cool at night now for me for shorts.
This is not all about clothes. Its the psychological factor that drives me to feel this way.
If this guy did not have REAL potential, I would not be in such a tizzy - men are a dime a dozen, the rare unique ones that one can find are not.
Look what you wrote above. You seem to have found some wonderful qualities in this man that make you think he he is indeed special. He is no less special because he is your height. I think you need to chill. Go out and buy a few pair of 1 inch shoes. If you let this become the major focal point of the relationship, it's doomed. I'm sure there are plenty of other women out there that would love to meet someone who is "rare and unique".
I'm no lady, but here's my free advice: Why don't you ask him if it's an issue for him?
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