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So I met that short haired girl I met at starbucks on Wednesday night at this pretty cool jazz club (she had a sort of artsy, beatnik quality to her, so I thought it was a good idea. Wrong.)
As soon as we walked in, she was immediately approached by tonnes of guys asking how she was, that they hadn't seen her in forever, where she's been (she was studying abroad) how it was, what they've been up to, etc, etc.
They really were male friends of her. She was happy to see them too, but at the same time, I couldn't tell if they really were just trying to catch up with an old friend or trying to pick her up.
Just not to be rude, I introduced myself to every guy that came and talked to her and acted interested and chimed in on whatever they had to say. I was trying to redirect their attention away from her and towards me, but every time I occupied 1 guy, another would come and start chatting her up.
She was just a little social butterfly that night, which is cool, but at the same time, I was hoping we could share the evening and get to know each other personally. I think only half the time she was talking, it was to me, and not some of her other guy friends.
I tried not to appear I was bothered, and decided to strike back by being social too and chat up other people there, including a few girls. I got 1 other girl's number, which was cool, but at the same time, I didn't really get a chance to really get to know my date, reveal myself to her on any deep level and bond with her.
I still got her number. Are such girls worth the time and effort to break away from their cadres of interested male friends?
Last edited by Cyanosphere; 07-24-2009 at 12:59 AM..
not a solution to a date but its still good info to know.
2 Words: Wingmen. I got like 3 or 4 with me at all times when out at places where we can meet chicks...Wingmen doesn't just run interference on friends of a chick that you are talking to...its 2009 ...they can do everything. 2 weeks ago i was talking to a girl at a bar when a guy next to us started talking to her, he had a Cardinals hat on and one of my friends saw what was going on..came up to him and started talking about the Cardinals game that day...in the mean time that gave me enough time to get this chick to go back to our table for a drink and talk.
back to your problem..not sure how i would handle it...maybe go to a place that you both wont see people you know....i know a general area where my friends will go to bars and places...so on a date i go 10miles to other way
So I met that short haired girl I met at starbucks on Wednesday night at this pretty cool jazz club (she had a sort of artsy, beatnik quality to it, so I thought it was a good idea. Wrong.)
As soon as we walked in, she was immediately approached by tonnes of guys asking how she was, that they hadn't seen her in forever, where she's been (she was studying abroad) how it was, what they've been up to, etc, etc.
They really were male friends of her. She was happy to see them too, but at the same time, I couldn't tell if they really were just trying to catch up with an old friend or trying to pick her up.
Just not to be rude, I introduced myself to every guy that came and talked to her and acted interested and chimed in on whatever they had to say. I was trying to redirect their attention away from her and towards me, but every time I occupied 1 guy, another would come and start chatting her up.
She was just a little social butterfly that night, which is cool, but at the same time, I was hoping we could share the evening and get to know each other personally. I think only half the time she was talking, it was to me, and not some of her other guy friends.
I tried not to appear I was bothered, and decided to strike back by being social too and chat up other people there, including a few girls. I got 1 other girl's number, which was cool, but at the same time, I didn't really get a chance to really get to know my date, reveal myself to her on any deep level and bond with her.
I still got her number. Are such girls worth the time and effort to break away from their cadres of interested male friends?
Bad move: First date at a place she knows and where the people know her. First date should always be on your turf, or neutral turf. Remember, you want to be in control.
Good move: The way you salvaged the night. Going out and talking to the other girls shows that you at least have the skills to adopt to those kind of situations and that you aren't dead weight in unfamiliar places.
It's up to you if you want to continue pursuing this. Personally, I wouldn't, but that's just me.
Well if she wanted these other guys, she would be dating them , not you. Obviously she is popular with them and that just means she is great, you caught a great girl. But you shouldn't be intimidated by them. Obviously none of the guys there are her cup of tea enough to stop calling them friends and start calling them "my boyfriend". What you need to do is figure out why she wont date these other guys. Maybe she's picky.
not a solution to a date but its still good info to know.
2 Words: Wingmen. I got like 3 or 4 with me at all times when out at places where we can meet chicks...Wingmen doesn't just run interference on friends of a chick that you are talking to...its 2009 ...they can do everything. 2 weeks ago i was talking to a girl at a bar when a guy next to us started talking to her, he had a Cardinals hat on and one of my friends saw what was going on..came up to him and started talking about the Cardinals game that day...in the mean time that gave me enough time to get this chick to go back to our table for a drink and talk.
If you have 3 or 4 reliable wingmen you should consider yourself damn lucky. The only good one I've had down here is in a LTR now and his girlfriend will only occassionally let him have his genitals back long enough to help me out. The guy I replaced him with is so friggen inept as a wingman that his greatest value is accentuating how awesome I am but it still doesn't really get the job done.
This situation sounded more like a hang out type of occasion more so than a date. Either way, I dont put up with a woman I have interest in just chatting up other guys, its rude and shows lack of respect, or maybe she's just not interested in you. She may also be the type that enjoys seeing guys fight over her as a way to prove their affections...though usually these types are pretty easy to identify. It sounds like she just thinks of you as a buddy and is acting accordingly.
I still got her number. Are such girls worth the time and effort to break away from their cadres of interested male friends?
Take her out to a dinner.
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...its 2009 ...they can do everything
. 2 weeks ago i was talking to a girl at a bar when a guy next to us started talking to her, he had a Cardinals hat on and one of my friends saw what was going on..came up to him and started talking about the Cardinals game that day...in the mean time that gave me enough time to get this chick to go back to our table for a drink and talk. 
