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"done that times 12" means, 12 years without sex. I can't imagine why would anyone stay so long without sex unless you are a nun.
You didn't. FWIW, I went 7, after I split with my ex. No big deal - at ALL.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stac2007
You got that right. Sex is dam good. It's even better when you are having it with some one you truly love. Not to have sex or as little as possible would cause one to cheat. I think there are issues the OP is not telling us.
Nothing causes you to cheat, but YOU. Absence of a sex life may be many people's excuse to cheat, but it never, ever justifies it.
Man up and address the problem.
You didn't. FWIW, I went 7, after I split with my ex. No big deal - at ALL.
I'm trying to figure out if you are serious or not, because I'm thinking you are kidding.
ETA: not about being without sex for 7 years, but about it not being a big deal.
If you were married and have not had sex in a year?
If your car needed servicing you would take it to a mechanic.
Well the same goes for me.
My "motor" needs servicing and I have my eyes set on a guy at work.
My husband has zero interest in sex. Usually we are arguing towards bedtime and he says "he can't get turned on when we fight". Well if he shut his big fat mouth, we wouldn't fight.
....... and you guys arent having great makeup sex in the morning??? Theres got to be something else going on in the relationship for your hubby to have zero interest in sex. Maybe you should try getting busy before bedtime if thats always when you fight, it sounds like you need to be spontaneous with it to bring the "spark" back. Meet him for lunch and have a quickie in the car... maybe he's bored and you just need to spice it up some... I just really cant imagine a man going a year without sex, maybe he's already got someone on the side. You could also be honest with him and tell him look youre not pleasing me so Im going to find it elsewhere... if he gets mad and says fine then maybe you need to consider a divorce because if you cant have sex with your husband then you shouldnt be married to him. Nobody should ever cheat... if the one youre with isnt the one that satisfies you in every way then you shouldnt be with them. BUT you can at least be honest with them, move on and find that person that does satisfy you. ohhhhh and dont ever sleep with someone at work what if its horrible??? do you really want to face that person at work everyday... all it will do is create a hostile work environment, not a good idea!
There are more things to life other than getting xyz. (yeah sure)... Really... Physical expenditure of energy does good for the body and mind....Have you tried running? Yeah running.......
I use to run to get out frustrations I picked up at work and it does work when people become frustrated... I use to run up to 3 miles then ride my bicycle and got so darn tired didn't wanna even eat supper....
Now I am older (hehehe) we swim most of the time at home but go to the beach on the weekends.... Try something new and unusual....
I believe that it is too easy to finalize a marriage in divorce and if contemplating that route it does make things worse for each partner. Trouble is that each of you guys have a memory and you will never forget the good times together....
You didn't. FWIW, I went 7, after I split with my ex. No big deal - at ALL.
Nothing causes you to cheat, but YOU. Absence of a sex life may be many people's excuse to cheat, but it never, ever justifies it.
Man up and address the problem.
If a man does not touch his wife for a whole year something is going on. Some people think spouses are interchangeable or just another piece of life’s pie which they will always assume will be there regardless of how they treat others. There isn't a day that my wife and I don't make love. How can a guy not notice the woman he loved and married? I think this ladies husband left her importance in the dust. She should end it but if she finds someone who makes her happy it is between her and her lover. The question is do you really think she is going to notice she has a lover?
As for the misread, sorry. Done that 12 times? Thats worse than I thought.
People who with hold sex and affection are passive aggressive and force the other person to either cheat, or divorce them so they can come out of the relationship looking more honorable. "She cheated on me " or "she wanted a divorce". The onus to end the relationship should be on the person who thinks they can be in a relationship and not have sex or affection. BTDT In spite of sounding like the devils advocate, After a reasonable amount of time and effort has passed to no avail, walk out or engage the services of a sympathetic partner, Being denied sex and affection for too long may cause a lot of psychological baggage that you will take to the next relationship. i.e., "was it me " "maybe I married a gay person" "maybe I'm not good in bed" "maybe I'm not desirable" Ironically some of these feelings of self doubt are the same feelings that people who were cheated on take to the next relationship.
I haven't done it yet.
I was wondering what others would do, calm down people.
The fantasy plays out well in my mind, although I don't know if my body can follow through with the fantasy.
I have thought of divorce, about a zillion times. In a year or so maybe I can afford it.
People LOVE to rattle off, "just get a divorce" easier said than done.
Does anyone actually do the math before suggesting divorce.
All the bills including full time daycare and part time daycare.
Its just not feasible.
Seriously, take a midol.. no need to get defensive about everything, I mean, you are the one who asked.
Thing is, once the fantasy starts, well, that's the end of things. I mean, how can you be with one person and still consistently think about another?
I never once said divorce, but rather, I said to try to work things out.. if you go back and re-read my post. If, and only if things are at a point where there is no way to work it out, then yes, I think a divorce is necessary. There are a great many steps that can be taken before things reach that point, as I mentioned earlier. But, if divorce is necessary, forget the math. It's like saying that you'll fix the squeaky closet door next week, and then next week comes and it's still not fixed. You'll always be waiting for the right time.
Talking about math: For some reason, all of the single parents I know are able to make it just fine. In fact, I helped create a budget for a friend of mine. She has two kids, 3 and 9, works a part time job, and still has money to spend on the weekends. And yes, she does put her kids in daycare - well, daycare and after-school care that is. While her budget is tight, and she does have to rely on various aid programs, she seems to make it just fine.
It's all a multiple step process.. First try to fix the problems - communicate, work together, whatever. If that's not possible, try separation for awhile while you still work on things.. Finally, as a last result, get a divorce and get on with life.
Either way, it's not good for you to be living in these kinds of conditions.
If you were married and have not had sex in a year?
I wouldn't cheat unless he cheated on me first.
Quote:
If your car needed servicing you would take it to a mechanic.
Well the same goes for me.
My "motor" needs servicing and I have my eyes set on a guy at work.
My husband has zero interest in sex. Usually we are arguing towards bedtime and he says "he can't get turned on when we fight". Well if he shut his big fat mouth, we wouldn't fight.
Reminds me of this joke a friend of mine sent. It's kind of green so I'll try to avoid some term so that I won't get booted.
Husband No. 1: When my wife and I have sex, it's like she's driving. She's say a little something like 1st gear, 2nd gear, 3rd gear.
Husband No. 2: Well, my wife is different. She'd tell me full tank please.
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FWIW, I went 7, after I split with my ex. No big deal - at ALL. 
