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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years and have lived together for a little over a year now. We own our home - we purchased it with every intent to get married. It wasn't what we expected to do right away, but given our area and lack of rentals, we couldn't pass on our home. We have talked about marriage at length, especially in recent months. I'm fairly traditional and would like the engagement then marriage - even though we have our home, I've wanted an engagement ring to signify that we are indeed engaged.
Last night, he asked what would I think if we just went and got married (no engagement) - he asked with some hesitation because he knows that I want a ring and has no problem getting me one, but just wanted to know how I felt on the subject. I hadn’t thought about it, obviously, but in a way it makes sense.
So, for those who have BTDT with this experience - what did you do and why?
I'll give my take on what I'm going to do if I ever get married.
Hey honey lets go through a drive thru in Vegas and be done with it. With the 30 grand we'll save and stress we'll skip out on by not having a traditional marriage ceremony we can afford to take a couple of awesome vacations and put down a ton of money on a house.
Traditional marriages are a product of people who want to sell you stuff and make money. They also fully support and over advertise for every holiday known to man so you buy tons of gifts for people. Between birthdays, valentines, xmas, anniverseries, father's day/mother's day, etc.. they would be happy if there was no less than 250 occasions per year that you spend your money on people for no apparent reason. Just remember when you see that ad on tv about buying your S/O something for valentines day that the money you spend goes right from your wallet into some CEO from Viacom's nostril cavity as he blows a line off a prostitute's butt. Very romantic if you ask me.
I kind of have to agree with Stan. The house is a pretty good gift that keeps on giving and someone told me recently about an article they read about diamond engagement rings, that somehow the fact that diamonds came to be an engagement ring was purely through greed - it had nothing to do with love, etc... the article was very interesting and I'll be darned if I can rememeber where I found it but, it was very profound. Anyway, you really can look at your house as a gift to each other.
It's fine to want and engagement ring & wedding band. To me, it's a matter of design, an engagment set vs. a wedding band with or without diamonds, etc. It's a matter of style.
I don't understand the need for an engagement "period". You have been together for 3 years and own a home together. Traditionally an engagement time is the time to into each other to the families and be sure "it's going to work" and it's the real deal. In your case after 3 years you have done al that.
You are in love - he's the one -- get married -- it's time for happy ever after!!
Best wishes.
Just get married, you've been living together, that's the engagement period. You've bought a house, as someone said that's the ring. The time for your "special day" is past.
Nothing says I love you more than buying a place to live. Sorry Im more about function that flash. If you want a diamond on the wedding band, mention it to him. Since you have lived together for a year, thats an informal engagement already. Sounds like your being a little selfish or dramatic with the request. If you can get a guy to the altar, best not to make him jump through hoops to get there.
I'll give my take on what I'm going to do if I ever get married.
Hey honey lets go through a drive thru in Vegas and be done with it. With the 30 grand we'll save and stress we'll skip out on by not having a traditional marriage ceremony we can afford to take a couple of awesome vacations and put down a ton of money on a house.
Traditional marriages are a product of people who want to sell you stuff and make money. They also fully support and over advertise for every holiday known to man so you buy tons of gifts for people. Between birthdays, valentines, xmas, anniverseries, father's day/mother's day, etc.. they would be happy if there was no less than 250 occasions per year that you spend your money on people for no apparent reason. Just remember when you see that ad on tv about buying your S/O something for valentines day that the money you spend goes right from your wallet into some CEO from Viacom's nostril cavity as he blows a line off a prostitute's butt. Very romantic if you ask me.
When I got married all I wanted was to be on a hilltop in Hawaii overlooking the ocean with just the two of us. Instead what I got was a wedding in a registry office with just "his" family and my mother (the rest couldn't afford to come all the way to England). The next time, I won't make the mistake of marrying someone who doesn't share the same desires.
Traditional marriages are a product of people who want to sell you stuff and make money. They also fully support and over advertise for every holiday known to man so you buy tons of gifts for people. Between birthdays, valentines, xmas, anniverseries, father's day/mother's day, etc.. they would be happy if there was no less than 250 occasions per year that you spend your money on people for no apparent reason. Just remember when you see that ad on tv about buying your S/O something for valentines day that the money you spend goes right from your wallet into some CEO from Viacom's nostril cavity as he blows a line off a prostitute's butt. Very romantic if you ask me.
one thing I have noticed for sure is, teh spouses falling all over their sig. others on these days with over the top gifts are just making up for how crappy the marriage is the other 363 days a year.
When he says no engagement, you mean he just wants to go to Justice of the Peace and get hitched? If that is what you both want then that is fine. Can he get you a ring and go get married?? Or if you would rather have an actual wedding you should discuss it with him! You should also ask why he doesn't want an engagement and wedding.. is it because of money or having to plan it out?
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