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Often when you look back on it you are remembering the good moments more than the bad, and wishing it can be that way again. Wondering why it can't. You also get used to having someone around if you've been with them for several or more years. You might even be hurt at the thought of them being happy with someone else. Stop looking back.
Why does letting go of a toxic, unhealthy, and possibly even abusive relationship STILL hurt like hell. What is the psychology behind that?
You are feeling from your psyche' (the deepest part of who you are) the death of a dream, the extreme disappointment that things aren't what you hoped and imagined they could be. It's a physical reaction to an emotional injury basically. I hope you find yourself in a better place real soon
Why does letting go of a toxic, unhealthy, and possibly even abusive relationship STILL hurt like hell. What is the psychology behind that?
When you are around toxic and abuse, believe it or not, it becomes a comfort zone. When you realize what you are experiencing, and how bad it is for your mental and physical health, is when you begin to connect the dots and make the courageous steps to remove yourself.
You take the steps away from your "comfort" zone, by force if necessary, but you still have that connection to the comfort you've known for so long.
In your mind you know it was bad, completely wrong for you, and a horrible state to maintain, however, the new comfort zone just hasn't become quite comfortable yet. When it does, that longing disappears, and gets replaced with a more healthy lifestyle and better people.
Why does letting go of a toxic, unhealthy, and possibly even abusive relationship STILL hurt like hell. What is the psychology behind that?
Some stupid chemical in the brain. Think they have a cure for it though. But the side affects may include nausea, skin disorders, and multiple other possible side affects. A small percentage of people have suicidal thoughts. If you are one of these people, see your doctor immediately. Like my therapist said. There are millions of people you can fall in love with out of billions. It just a matter of finding one in time The clock is ticking. Let go of the ball and chain of the past relationship, and pick up that baton. Get back in the race!!! It is just life, live it!!!!!!!!
I agree with coolhand, stop tormenting yourself with the what if's and should of's...and maybe's. You need to move on if you want to be happy. I have done it myself looked back and wanted to go back to ex's. You do only remember the good and why it really didn't work out. Most also want to go back because of the familarity and having someone.
There are a number of factors. A feeling of failure is one - the feeling that you weren't good enough to make this person want to change their ways for you that you were somehow special enough he/she would want to overcome these faults. It's not you and it's not an uncommon feeling.
Then we beat ourselves up with the coulda-shoulda-woulda's. If I'd only done this, if I'd only said this, if I hadn't done that and we burden ourselves with it.
Then, what you are missing aren't the things you did, but the things you never had a chance to do yet and you feel they may have made a difference.
We just beat ourselves to a bloody pulp - and it really has nothing to do with us.
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Like my therapist said. There are millions of people you can fall in love with out of billions. It just a matter of finding one in time 
The clock is ticking. Let go of the ball and chain of the past relationship, and pick up that baton. Get back in the race!!! It is just life, live it!!!!!!!!
