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Old 10-14-2009, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
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Yes, I'm pretty good. A valuable skill in sales. As for reading an "aura", or "vibe" on someone is different than reading body language. Its tough to describe and I dont think everyone can do it, but some people have more 'presence' than others (good or bad).
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:07 PM
 
4,483 posts, read 5,334,011 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Oh, it's pretty easy to tell when somebody's lying.

On the other hand, I did get taken in by a guy who just didn't have any of the tells. He wreaked all kinds of havoc in my business before I dumped him.
The lying thing I've gotten better with. Uneasy hands, slouched shoulders, face moving away, eyes wandering everywhere but mine. Also a certain glint when they smile, when you apparently go along with what they want from you.

Picked up on a blatant lie from one of my friends this summer. We're driving to his house after dinner (I dropped him off) and we're talking about a certain stereotype some people we know are known to have. This includes his wife's sister-in-law, "Jessica." He's going off about how Jessica meets those stereotypes.

So I said, "well, which one of them? Any examples?

He says, "No. I can't say. I don't know her well."

I raised my voice partly in surprise and partly in annoyance because he was clearly lying. "Dude, she's been your wife's sister-in-law for nearly 10 years and you don't know her well?" (this considering both couples have gathered very often for dinner, with me as a guest many times, and this of course way before I entered the social scene).

He then slightly stutters, corrects himself, and regains his composure, "OK OK, one thing about Jessica, which meets this one stereotype. She's super ambitious. When she wants something, she gets it no matter what. That's how those folks are."

Inwardly I chuckled. He picked what had been a relatively "mild" stereotype about that group of people, after I'd called him out on his own comments about his wife's sis-in-law... and after he claimed he "didn't know her well."
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:12 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,391,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
Is this something you've always had or something you developed?
Both. I have always been very sensitive towards other people's energy, even as a child. My mother used to say I have a sixth sense for that. There were few times when she would introduce me to her new friends and I would say: "i don't like this lady" and sure enough "this lady" would screw her over in some way.
Of course, although I'm still relatively young (31), this had even improved with age.

I always knew when a boy was "bad news" for me, but I still would not listen to my gut feeling and jump into that water.
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:18 PM
 
4,483 posts, read 5,334,011 times
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Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Both. I have always been very sensitive towards other people's energy, even as a child. My mother used to say I have a sixth sense for that. There were few times when she would introduce me to her new friends and I would say: "i don't like this lady" and sure enough "this lady" would screw her over in some way.
Of course, although I'm still relatively young (31), this had even improved with age.

I always knew when a boy was "bad news" for me, but I still would not listen to my gut feeling and jump into that water.
Hmmm. Interesting. I know I don't have that 'sensitivity' you speak of but I most certainly wish I did!
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:21 PM
 
Location: NY metro area
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Yes, I'm pretty accurate.

My sister on the other hand sucks at it...and it drives me nuts.
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:25 PM
 
Location: South FL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
Hmmm. Interesting. I know I don't have that 'sensitivity' you speak of but I most certainly wish I did!
It's a good thing to have when you actually use this and help yourself in life, but when you have this, but don't listen to yourself and disregard your instincts (like in my case), then it's useless, same as not having it. Eh, I guess we all learn from our mistakes. Thankfully I always knew my husband was a keeper, from the second I stood within 2 feet from him and thankfully I went for him.
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:26 PM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,649,066 times
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Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
Some people close to me, namely, one of my siblings and my father, are particularly good at this. They can pick up good or bad vibes from people not long after meeting them. I'm the opposite - generally blind to these vibes. I have improved over time, but generally, I've not historically been good at "reading" people.

Are you?

If anything... although first impressions can deceive, I've found that there's something about a person's "look" (not the physical traits of the face, but rather, the "ambiance"/"aura" of it) that can give off clues as to what kind of an individual this is.
I think I'm a pretty good judge of character. Although I believe in keeping an open mind and not going entirely off first impressions, I generally end up being correct about a person. Amongst my friends, I'm one the one who gets to say "I told you so" about someone one of my friends gets involved with and ends up regretting.
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Old 10-14-2009, 02:40 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,201,093 times
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I've been very good at it since 9 years old. I have an aunt that is devious and underhanded and a host of horrible things she has done over time and even as a kid, I didn't like her and thought she was creepy - turned out I wasn't the only one.

I used to have to hire and fire people so that's a great exercise in learning to judge a person's character. But it is an aura and a vibe not something physical in appearance.

When it came to my dating life, however, I found that I was right on the money regarding a person's character....and it's my own gosh darn fault for allowing myself to be temprorarily blind to it even though my gut said otherwise.

My instincts have never failed me - I failed them by not wanting to listen to them.
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Old 10-14-2009, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,172 posts, read 20,792,061 times
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I've got a pretty good sixth sense for sniffing out losers. It comes with street smarts and being exposed to a lot of sketchy people throughout my childhood and adult years. When I'm wrong, it's usually because the person turned out to be a good person who I was skeptical of early on. Most times I'm right though, and I trust my instincts.
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:43 PM
 
123 posts, read 867,662 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
...They can pick up good or bad vibes from people not long after meeting them...

But are some of the 'bad vibes' just fear or paranoia? Is it always the case that the person truly turned out to be a bad person?

I have a close friend of many years that is very friendly and free-hearted but terrible in social situations. She gets very nervous, shy, quiet and looks frozen around people she doesn't know well.

When I invited her on a trip with a new travel group I had just joined, more than a few people told me that they got a bad vibe from her (mostly those who didn't know I invited her). When I mentioned it to her she got paranoid about why they thought she was a bad person.

I didn't understand it then and I now find myself wondering do people get bad vibes from me, even if I am not a bad person?

What makes a bad vibe? Feeling threatened, that the person wants to hurt, harm or cheat you? feeling like they are being phony? Or just feeling that they are holding back?

Myself, I tend to be very reserved, guarded and discreet in life. Would this come across as a bad vibe? Just wondering.




And to answer the question, NO I'm not the BEST judge of character, BUT I can smell BS when it's scooped up.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, even some undeserving. My online play psychic keeps telling me to be more discriminating, lol.

I can't read people off the bat, but I can tell when someone's intentions don't match up to what they're saying. Of course, they're usually leaving with the kitchen sink by then. jk, lol.



k-fed
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