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Okay, so now we know a bit more about this man. He's a lot older than you and out of shape. Obviously he's not a 'hot' 44 year old.
There is nothing wrong with having doubts. What you need to do is figure out what you want to do about this. Do you live with this man? Does he support you?
He is about 110 kilos (242 pounds) and I am about 50 kilos (110 pounds).
Yes we live together, at his house (stupid mistake on my part). My name was never put on the lease because he said it was "too much hassle". No he doesnt support me, I pay my way.
Despite what some may think of me, I find it close to impossible to put myself first, and I beat myself up a lot about the smallest things. I really need to learn to start focusing on me and my wants instead of being so concerned with hurting others. It's easy to say, but very hard to put into action.
Yeah, it's always difficult for the one going thru the emotions. But what needs to be done "has" to be done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecretlySad
I am sorry to hear about your stepgrandmother, miu. This is one of the things I fear in later life should we stay together. He eats terribly, is overweight and never exercises. He doesn't like being "nagged" and hates being doubted, so I have never gotten on his case about it, but I wish he would do something.
He is about 110 kilos (242 pounds) and I am about 50 kilos (110 pounds).
Yes we live together, at his house (stupid mistake on my part). My name was never put on the lease because he said it was "too much hassle". No he doesnt support me, I pay my way.
What's his height?
Too much hassle? So he's probably prepared for the "you will leave" situation
I agree with Antlered Chamataka. Most older guys will want to stay in shape and make an effort to stay or get fit for a younger lady. (or perhaps a lady the same age).
We should want to be healthy for our partners so we can be here awhile.
Does he drink and smoke, too?
Too much hassle? So he's probably prepared for the "you will leave" situation
No, I honestly just think he likes to be in control. Even when his ex moved in with him she said the exact same thing I did when I moved in "This is OUR house now, not just YOUR house". Before we were living together when we would fight and he had had enough he would ask me to leave... I guess he did the same thing to her and she wanted to make it clear that there was no more throwing her out of the house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsySoul22
Does he drink and smoke, too?
He drinks, but he gave up smoking cold turkey in 2006.
No, I honestly just think he likes to be in control. Even when his ex moved in with him she said the exact same thing I did when I moved in "This is OUR house now, not just YOUR house". Before we were living together when we would fight and he had had enough he would ask me to leave... I guess he did the same thing to her and she wanted to make it clear that there was no more throwing her out of the house.
He drinks, but he gave up smoking cold turkey in 2006.
Ahhhhh ... here's your "out". Nag at him about his weight, get into a fight, provoke him to threaten to throw you out, and then BAM! Just leave! No explanation necessary. He told you to leave, so you're leaving! Am I genius, or what???!!!
No, I honestly just think he likes to be in control. Even when his ex moved in with him she said the exact same thing I did when I moved in "This is OUR house now, not just YOUR house". Before we were living together when we would fight and he had had enough he would ask me to leave... I guess he did the same thing to her and she wanted to make it clear that there was no more throwing her out of the house.
He drinks, but he gave up smoking cold turkey in 2006.
Drinks, overweight, eats, that's a lot of health problems in store. You know how messed up this can get when you are "working alone" post his retirement, with insurance and healthcare costs sky-rocketing, you have a cauldron of issues waiting for you.
He's pretty much your daddy figure, if he likes to be in control
You're making the O.P.'s 17 year age gap seem like only ten years... she's got three years until she is 30, and her boyfriend is four years older than you. Just let it go. She doesn't find her boyfriend physically attractive anymore and it's time to break up. And there's no need to make her feel guilty about the situation.
Plus not all people age at the same rate. You could at 40 years old could be standing next to her 44 year old boyfriend and looking ten years younger than him. Or maybe you could look close in age. Who knows without any pictures? So there is no need for you to try to defend the sex appeal of all 40+ year old men to 27 year old women.
I'm 43, but what is the difference if I was 40 or 43? I am the same dude now as I was 3 years ago. And there is no big difference btween 27 and 30. So 10 year difference or 15 it doesn't really matter when you are 30ish and 40ish.
Damn right I am making her feel guilty about it because she is beating around the bush using "the future" to validate her reasoning when in fact right now she already says she views him as looking like a "dad". She is almost 30 and he early 40's and she is branding him as looking old enough to be her "dad"? C'mon....
Ahhhhh ... here's your "out". Nag at him about his weight, get into a fight, provoke him to threaten to throw you out, and then BAM! Just leave! No explanation necessary. He told you to leave, so you're leaving! Am I genius, or what???!!!
I'm 43, but what is the difference if I was 40 or 43? I am the same dude now as I was 3 years ago. And there is no big difference btween 27 and 30. So 10 year difference or 15 it doesn't really matter when you are 30ish and 40ish.
Damn right I am making her feel guilty about it because she is beating around the bush using "the future" to validate her reasoning when in fact right now she already says she views him as looking like a "dad". She is almost 30 and he early 40's and she is branding him as looking old enough to be her "dad"? C'mon....
Would you mind answering the question I asked you, please?
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Just let it go. She doesn't find her boyfriend physically attractive anymore and it's time to break up. And there's no need to make her feel guilty about the situation. 
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