Isn't casual sex kind of uncomfortable emotionally? (date, women, single)
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I have a few friends who go to Bars and are always picking up women.
One friend will pick up a different woman every Friday night. If he goes to a bar and does not pick up a woman that night he will feel like a failure. The funny thing is he sees the same people in the bar every weekend. If he sees someone he had picked up before he will act like they are invisible and he is only interested in someone he has not met before.
I ask him if he is ill at ease being so close physically and emotionally with someone he has never met. We all know how hard it is to talk to people we do not know well. Then it should be so much more difficult having sexual and romantic relations with someone who we do not really know.
Are you ill at ease the first time you try to get sexual or romantic with someone new?
Well I can not condone picking up a woman EVERY night - but what makes you think that your friend has any emotional attachment to these women?
You sound like a good man (man right?) and you are loyal to the fact that you believe that sex and emotions are truly tied together.
Well they aren't.
I've have several "hook ups" and can not say that I was emotionally connected to the majority of them (of course some I did date for longer periods of time)
WIth me I'm more emotionally attached to someone where I have a mental connection.
Hook ups are just sex - they don't need to be complicated with emotions. Which is why sometimes hook ups are hotter and more fun than long term relationship sex. I didn't say more emotionally full filling - I'm talking physical only.
PS - to answer your question "Are you ill at ease the first time you try to get sexual or romantic with someone new?"
Nope not "ill at ease" at all - if anything it's exciting and some of the greatest excitement I've ever had in my life, those first kisses (or first rolls in bed, depending on the situation) are what give people that "alive" feeling.
Sex and romance are often two different things...this guy just wants a hooker, that he does not have to pay for. There is no emotion involved. And the only reason he feels like he failed, is he failed to get some.
MBG
I can't even believe I'm commenting on this thread, but oh, well. Indulge the rantings of an old lady here (I'm 51!) Someone on the religion forum said I have a definite "mom vibe" which doesn't offend me at all!
So here it comes: I'm surprised that, morality issues aside, that people are still having a lot of casual sex due to AIDS in this day and time. Seems risky to me.
Usually the people who pick up a person for the night are people who don't want it to be emotional, so it doesn't bother them when it's not. At least at that moment they don't want it to be motional. They want it to be exciting, sexual and probably drunken moment...so emotion doesn't come (no pun intended ) into it. A lot of other things do though!
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an "risk adverse" old lady's rant!
Indulge the rantings of an old lady here (I'm 51!) Someone on the religion forum said I have a definite "mom vibe" which doesn't offend me at all!
) into it. A lot of other things do though!
