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It's a metaphor. You can't take part of it as metaphor and the rest literally. Of course no one is for sale. But a single person may be available. So no one buying the cupcakes is akin to no one actually wanting the single person, which is indirect commentary on their value. The compliments mean little if no one is actually trying to date you. Is that spelled out enough?
Things are not black and white, which is what my post was explaining. Women don't automatically lump all men who comment on our looks as creeps or as sexual and inappropriate nor are all taken as compliments or as sincere romantic interest. All human interaction has some degree of vulnerability and risk, so avoidance is not much solution unless you plan on being a hermit. The idea is to grasp nuances better.
To understand how a woman would feel, you don't frame things in terms of how YOU a man would feel. You have to imagine being a woman and all that it entails. A comment on a woman's appearance has to be understood in the context of a world where:
- violence against women is usually from men. Most men are not bad, but a few are, and so women feel intimidated more easily in physical ways from men than vice versa. The equivalent of this for men may be emotional manipulation from women or physical intimidation from other men. How would you feel as a straight man if a gay man asked you to swivel around so he could check your body out? Discomfort with that is not homophobia... That's still not quite the same, as another man is still more of a peer.
- objectification is permeating every aspect of reality for women. A single comment to a man doesn't leave him feeling objectified because his entire human worth is not nearly as tied to his looks and sex appeal. Men usually feel angry if valued for monetary assets, because no one wants to feel like an ATM machine either. Women don't find compliments about our financial success to be negative for parallel reasons.
- most praise towards women is focused on our appearances. It's not old to you because you hear it less and you may get compliments in other areas. Even women often compliment other women with references to appearance (ie clothes). If compliments were more evenly spread out among our other good areas, then the ones about appearance may seem more welcomed. They aren't unwelcomed now, but their prevalence reinforces why women are valued socially.
Well the gay issue is a difcerent matter, I am.simply pointing ouf a difference between genders and believe it or not men are victims of more violence from.women than a lot of people might think and I.heard that straight from a cop recently who told me.that most of the calls he receives regarding domestic violence end up being the woman assaulting him. As far as a man being treatex like an ATM machine well that is on him if he lets that happen. But any way no.woman has to worry about me hitting on her, I will let some other guy take that leap of faith and risk the embarrasment of looking like a fool. I.have learned that it is better to keep quiet and just enjoy the view and move on.
Sadly, chivalry is dead because all the feminists killed it!
I don't know why some dudes think this. IME women dig chivalry. And most women are feminists. Most women want the same career opportunities and pay that men get. So....who are all these women who don't like chivalry? Maybe you're just doing it wrong.
I don't know why some dudes think this. IME women dig chivalry. And most women are feminists. Most women want the same career opportunities and pay that men get. So....who are all these women who don't like chivalry? Maybe you're just doing it wrong.
I don't know what "experience" this is but I'm almost certain the end is always bad for you. Feminism and Chivalry are two completely different things. One is a cult and the other is more of a belief. I don't believe any one should be getting paid more or less UNLESS it's based off of the work they put in. If you work hard and often, you'll get paid more. Work lazily and not as often, then you'll get less. I believe in equality, feminism/manosphere is a load of crap.
I don't know what "experience" this is but I'm almost certain the end is always bad for you. Feminism and Chivalry are two completely different things. One is a cult and the other is more of a belief. I don't believe any one should be getting paid more or less UNLESS it's based off of the work they put in. If you work hard and often, you'll get paid more. Work lazily and not as often, then you'll get less. I believe in equality, feminism/manosphere is a load of crap.
"Cult"? Was the Civil Rights movement a cult? Chivalry is a "belief"? Chivalry is a behavior. Women like it when you open doors for them and are polite. That's all it is, it's not a big deal. But why do some dudes think women don't like it?
As for basing pay on the amt. of work you put in, that's not relevant to the starting pay people are given. All things being equal (experience, previous pay level at other job, qualifications), people hiring on for similar positions should get the same pay. That doesn't happen a lot of the time, according to reports, studies, and what I've found out on the job. Some employers still seem to have the mentality that us dudes are the breadwinners (even when we're single, and even if the female hire is a single mom--go figure!), so we should automatically get paid more. That puts me in an awkward position if my female coworker is getting significantly less even though she's sharp as a tack on the job. It's a throwback to the dinosaur age of the 1940's and 50's.
"Cult"? Was the Civil Rights movement a cult? Chivalry is a "belief"? Chivalry is a behavior. Women like it when you open doors for them and are polite. That's all it is, it's not a big deal. But why do some dudes think women don't like it?
Civil rights was equality.
Maybe back in the 1800's women liked it, but today... Overused and doormat is a more acceptable terminology.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbiePoster
As for basing pay on the amt. of work you put in, that's not relevant to the starting pay people are given. All things being equal (experience, previous pay level at other job, qualifications), people hiring on for similar positions should get the same pay. That doesn't happen a lot of the time, according to reports, studies, and what I've found out on the job. Some employers still seem to have the mentality that us dudes are the breadwinners (even when we're single, and even if the female hire is a single mom--go figure!), so we should automatically get paid more. That puts me in an awkward position if my female coworker is getting significantly less even though she's sharp as a tack on the job. It's a throwback to the dinosaur age of the 1940's and 50's.
I have no comment on this as this will create a discussion within a discussion, one that can easily get heated at that. I'll admit I probably should not have replied to the first comment you posted.
Hitting on women is like going to Vegas or Atlantic City to gamble, you just might get lucky and win but most likely you will lose, The only way to ensure not losing is by not gambling.
The odds are stacked against you. You can just hope.for.the.best
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Maybe you're just doing it wrong.
The only way to ensure not losing is by not gambling.
