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Thanks for looking out for me! I really do have my mind set though. I just dont wanna go through a bad phone call in the middle of all this other stress ya know? so i'll do it on my time
I just want to say that after dating my X husband for 1 year, we were at his mom's house for Christmas and he got mad about something and started screaming at her! I mean loud screaming.
Sure do wish I would have walked out that day because for years after, he would scream at me. We couldn't talk about any problem at all because his screaming in my face would drown everything out.
What a nightmare..
Get out as quick as you can because you are his next victim.
He will be very nice for awhile to keep you and to fool you but his "problem" will always be there under the surface waiting to come out.
Even if he never drinks again, it will be there.
Mag, thanks for sharing your story.And yeah, Of course he's been nice lately! sending me apology emails and i love yous, and saying he'll quit drinking. I know it's not gonna happen. My dad drank and did drugs, and my mom took him back loads of times and nothing ever changed. Behavior essentially stayed the same. Hah, and there's no way this guy could quit drinking completely. He has a beer after work almost everyday and I can see it now, he stops for a while, maybe even a couple months, and then it trickles back in. He would prob test me and say oh but i havent had some drinks in a while etc etc. then youre right! i feel like he'd definitely start yelling at me eventually like your ex did. And that thought alone makes me cringe. No respect for women. that's a horrible way to be. And now that i know what he really thinks of my mom (and basically, me too) i'm not gonna go back to that. i feel sorry he has a problem but i cant be the one to fix it! life's too short
There is a term for a drunkard that does not drink: Dry Drunk. Just because he swears off the stuff doesn't mean that the underlying problems have been resolved. I wouldn't beleive him until he attended AA for two or three solid years and earned his 3 year sober chip. Even then, I would be afraid of him. I wouldn't marry him under any circumstances...but after he earned his 3 year chip, I might meet him in a restaurant--if we both drive our own cars.
So the question is, should i give him a second chance? He said he was just having a bad day. Was it? Will it happen again? It happened twice-- he disrespected my mom twice. I was starting to really love him before this happened! Everything else about him is so great, however this is a huge untolerable flaw, right? I really did believe he was perfect for me and he said he wouldnt be able to live without me before. It hurts because it all happened so fast, in a weekend. He apologized to me a million times, but I can't tell if he is sorry I'm mad, but not sorry at my mom. Everything was peachy until thanksgiving freakkout. I don't want to breakup with him because we really connect so well on every level. He is my first serious boyfriend and I know I am young, but I felt at one time before this happened he had potential to be the one for me. I feel he has almost every piece of the recipe for the perfect guy for me; I have never seen another guy like him before with so many similar qualities, who knows if I will again? We understand each other, but isn't this fight something that should really end a relationship? How should I handle this?
Thanks for taking a look
No second chances. What he di was inexcusable. Run don't walk from this relationship.
so i finished finals yesterday, (tues) and wanted to break it off when i got home from school (this friday) but I didnt want to string things along any further. He was getting the idea anyway because he was sending me things like where do we stand, are we still together, if you wanna breakup let me know so i can move on, etc. so i finally did it.
By the way, a couple days ago he sent me a message saying he got me something special. Welp, it ended up being a diamond necklace (this would be the first jewelry he wouldve ever given me). Dont worry. I didnt fall for it. I can understand how sorry he is by investing in something that special, but i cant help but think its just a desperate, kiss-ass move because he knows our relationship is headed for the gutters. And he can always return it if we break it off right. I know he did actually buy one because he sent me a picture text. Honestly, the whole thing is sketchy. Thats the sort of special thing you show someone in person right? Or maybe he just was desperate and wanted to tell me as soon as he could. Either way, diamonds dont work on me as an apology for what he did...
SO yesterday i didnt want to be asked if we were still together again so i called him. Said i didnt want to chance having that kind of abuse or potential violence in the future, because i honestly dont know how he'll react. He said he understands.(but if he wasnt potentially abusive, wouldnt he have said so right then? instead of agreeing?) He was Just agreeing with everything I was saying. I said i dont think i can deal with someone who disses me and my mom like that, he said he knows what i mean and to know where we stand. He wanted to know if he could move on and meet knew people, get his house and take other steps etc and if i was in or out and to tell him what i wanted to do. I said i had so many mixed emotions the last few weeks because everything happened so quickly and that i still liked him but couldnt deal with the red flags. So he said ok, it took you this long to tell me this and said alright, it is what it is. He said he knows he messed up big time but if thats what i want to do then ok. We both said no hard feelings. He said hed prob take my number out of his phone so he doesnt bother me. He said good luck but maybe ill see u in the summer. I didnt really answer this. We both said it was a fun run and that was it.
Ive had some tough **** in my life, but that had to be one of the hardest things ive ever done. First love i guess...
ANyways so this morning i get a text. (broke up last night) and this is what it says:
Mornin. Ive decided after much needed sleep i wont move on. ur my baby. take all the time you need, i want u to come back and help me renovate my place in the summer. Just want you to come back to me eventually. mwah.
So basically he was trying to hide that he still had feelings for me in our conversation last night. He was acting passive and indifferent trying to see if thats what i really wanted to do, saying alright good luck then, like i was gonna change my mind. also, i love how it says " Ive decided after much needed sleep i wont move on." kinda sounds selfish? Like he'll let me come back? idk exactly how to analyze that one, but i find it funny he couldnt say this when we talked. anyway thats it. let me know if you have any thoughts on the convo or text. thanks .
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