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I have been dating a women whom I love dearly for 8 months now. Everything between us is absolutely perfect except for one thing. Her sexual history which is driving us apart! She had been with 14 guys @ 22 before me! I personally think this is way too many. The worst thing of it though is that 11 of them were not relationships : ( I don't know what to do to get over this. I have talked to her about it and told her how i feel but at the end of the day i just can't get over the fact that she has been with that many guys. Too make things worse, I'm taking a sex ed class in college right now where we have over 500 students taking the class. The breakdown of student is 50% juniors and 50% seniors in college. We all participated in a student survey for sexual history which revealed an average of 3-4 sexual partners for women. And also 95% of women in the class have fewer sexual partners than my girlfriend! It just hurts so bad to know she has given herself up to so many men. It hurts to know that she is more "slutty" than 95% of the other girls in my class. I am not holding double standard here either. Every single girl i have ever been with has met my parents and I have been in a relationship with. For the guys in my class, my own personal number hit one above the average for the class It hurts to know that she is shameful of her past and that she is upset with herself. I have tried being the bigger man in my position and have tried to get over this, but at the end of every day I just can't. It's too many men for me to take her seriously. Especially knowing 1 out of 5 people in the US have an STI!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm pretty sure im going ot end things with her this weekend, but the last thing i want to do is make her feel bad for her past. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
She hasn't been tested no. To me she seems clean, but from the class we have learned you can't tell by just looking. She has been to the gyno and i had gotten fully tested before we began having sex. She said most of these encounters were over a year ago and that she is trying to change, but before we got together, she had two "recent" sex partners. Neither were relationships. I hate to sound old fashioned, but i guess her mentality towards sex is just too open. I feel like with her im getting something that has high mileage : ( I know i have been with other girls, but everyone of them was serious relationship.
She hasn't been tested no. To me she seems clean, but from the class we have learned you can't tell by just looking. She has been to the gyno and i had gotten fully tested before we began having sex. She said most of these encounters were over a year ago and that she is trying to change, but before we got together, she had two "recent" sex partners. Neither were relationships. I hate to sound old fashioned, but i guess her mentality towards sex is just too open. I feel like with her im getting something that has high mileage : ( I know i have been with other girls, but everyone of them was serious relationship.
then give the girl a chance and maybe leave sex out of it for a while?
Rakin, thats what im worried about. She is genuinely a beautiful person. It was so hard for her to tell me. She was so ashamed of it : ( I feel like with the whole issue, its up and down up and down. Sometimes i can deal with it, and sometimes it eats at me inside.
I have been dating a women whom I love dearly for 8 months now. Everything between us is absolutely perfect except for one thing. Her sexual history which is driving us apart! She had been with 14 guys @ 22 before me! I personally think this is way too many. The worst thing of it though is that 11 of them were not relationships : ( I don't know what to do to get over this. I have talked to her about it and told her how i feel but at the end of the day i just can't get over the fact that she has been with that many guys. Too make things worse, I'm taking a sex ed class in college right now where we have over 500 students taking the class. The breakdown of student is 50% juniors and 50% seniors in college. We all participated in a student survey for sexual history which revealed an average of 3-4 sexual partners for women. And also 95% of women in the class have fewer sexual partners than my girlfriend! It just hurts so bad to know she has given herself up to so many men. It hurts to know that she is more "slutty" than 95% of the other girls in my class. I am not holding double standard here either. Every single girl i have ever been with has met my parents and I have been in a relationship with. For the guys in my class, my own personal number hit one above the average for the class It hurts to know that she is shameful of her past and that she is upset with herself. I have tried being the bigger man in my position and have tried to get over this, but at the end of every day I just can't. It's too many men for me to take her seriously. Especially knowing 1 out of 5 people in the US have an STI!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm pretty sure im going ot end things with her this weekend, but the last thing i want to do is make her feel bad for her past. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
You are reading too much into this. Having a lot of sexual partners does not mean anything except that your girlfriend enjoys sex. In today's society men are not thought of badly if they are promiscuous, but women are. This is an antiquated belief that what sits between a woman's legs is made of gold! Balderdash!
Kudos to the woman who can separate sex from love and is not afraid to go out there and have a good time. Most women are so messed up emotionally and psycologically because they have been lied to that "nice girls" don't enjoy sex, and they are accused of being cold in marriage when they cannot allow themselves to enjoy relations with their husband because of the stupid double standard.
Be so glad that you have an experienced woman who knows how to please you and MOST OF ALL - IS NOT AFRAID TO BE HONEST WITH YOU ABOUT HER PAST. She sounds like a fantastic person. You should thank your lucky stars.
20yrsinBranson
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