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Good black woman chiming in....um yeah...I'm with this guy...lol...sorry OP....LoL.....
I really hate this saying...."There aren't any good black men left"...uh bull****.....problem is, you have to first find out what is your definition of a "good black man" ....NEXT: Lets stop singling out "black" men....say "Where have all the good MEN gone?" <----if you choose to openly use this statement....I wouldn't, but hey.......
This is what I believe, as women, we come across good men ALL the time...but we truly ignore those particular men...Lets be real..."good men" are BOOOORRRING! So we are initially attracted to the "Bad Boy" Why? Because he's fun! When we meet good guy, he's easy...too easy...so we OVERLOOK them....Reality Bites! lol
Well, that mindset of women is not helping the epidemic of broken families is it?
I'm sure that contributed to the meltdown of the African family's in America but there is so much more to it you could do a whole lecture/symposium on the various situations in which Africans families were attacked.
This might be of some interest to you (and others) if you want to learn more about it.
LOL!! Yes, I know that my post was on the "tough love" side but seriously Black women need to hear it.
As a Black woman, this topic is discussed ad nauseum in every hair salon, on every Girl's Night Out, nearly every phone conversation, every Sunday after church, every holiday, every family gathering, every sorority meeting, every cocktail party, every Saturday lunch, every Sunday brunch, and just about any and every get together where you have two or more Black women.
I am so tired of hearing it. Especially when the answers are right in front of us.
Each time the "where have all the good Black men" discussion comes up I immediately rattle off a few of the suggestions that I made in my previous post only to have them disregarded.
Too many Black women (especially if she has a Bachelor's degree and higher) has a sincere (yet unrealistic) belief that she "deserves" her own personal Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Morris Chestnut or Boris Kudjoe. Nothing and no one else is an option. Then they start turning 40 and 50 without ever being married to their own personal Denzel and the bitterness starts to set in.
Also, Black women need to stop "hating" on White/Asian/Hispanic women who date/marry Black men and seriously take a lesson out of "their" playbook. Black women need to stop the blind loyalty & devotion to Black men and stop acting as if they "belong" to us exclusively simply because we are from the same tribe.
I have to agree with you wholeheartedly on this. But there's one thing here I need to pull out: the Denzel Washingtons, Will Smiths, Michael Jordans, Morris Chestnuts or Boris Kudjoes are not what most black woman of today are looking for; if they were looking for those kind of dudes, I would assume that many of the straight-edge black dudes who are confident, assertive, were somewhat social, and had at least cute/decent looks wouldn't have to deal with the dilemma. To be fair, I don't consider the dudes aforementioned as "bad boy" hoodlums, gangstas, or thugs, but dudes who are confident, physically fit, have their s*** together, and don't take crap from anyone. These non-thuggish confident black men are the ones that White, Asian, Latina women are seeking for (along with the ones that are labeled as overly corny/nerdy/geeky).
It's the Flava-Flavs, Adam "Pacman" Joneses, 50 Cents, Allen Iversons, and Lil Waynes that I found most black women - especially when they're younger - want. It's not until they reach their 30s (if that) when they're finally sexed and partied out and are looking to find someone to settle for (note, not LOVE WITH and SHARE THEIR LIVES WITH, but SETTLE FOR).
And by that time, the assertive black man who was cute and smooth but was dissed for "the thug" because he wasn't seen as "gangsta enough" has a smoking hot white woman for a newlywed (and no, she came on to him and they both have jobs). The black man who was seen as "not black enough" because he was more responsible has a great job and lovely family with his Hispanic wife. And the smart black guy who was consistently bashed and overlooked for being "corny and nerdy" is having the time of his life as he's engaged to his Asian girlfriend of 4 years.
And let's be honest, the equivalency in the minds of most black women is way off base: if someone's a "Big-Boned" Monique, 4-Kid (even 1-Kid bearing) Shaniqua, or a Black-B**ch Attitude Having "Keisha," or a staright-out-of-the-hood "Shanaynay," they are nowhere near deserving of a Will Smith, Michael Jordan, or a Denzel Washington. Hell, those kinds of broads are not worthy of a Carlton Banks or Steve Urkel.
Last edited by Do a Barrel Roll; 12-14-2009 at 12:39 PM..
It's the Flava-Flavs, Adam "Pacman" Joneses, 50 Cents, Allen Iversons, and Lil Waynes that I found most black women - especially when they're younger - want. It's not until they reach their 30s (if that) when they're finally sexed and partied out and are looking to find someone to settle for (note, not LOVE WITH and SHARE THEIR LIVES WITH, but SETTLE FOR).
I'm not black and I don't know who all these people are, but I have heard of flava-flav (I remember public enemy in HS as well as that show he had). I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would want a character like that. How are these girls being raised to think these men are appropriate to bed with?
It is very common to find something or someone when you are looking for that same thing or body. If you were not seeking a nice black man, you will come across so many, you will loose the count.
Anyhoo, how about this one:
love is paramount than career - Illinois City Singles, Personals Dating (http://www.promatching.com/dating-pr42138633-danielchildress.aspx - broken link)
I am a light skin black male, do I get a pass or do I need to get darker?
LOl it depends on how light you are...my bf is a little lighten than me but his looks wasn't what attracted me in the first place so I got past it but in general I've never really like "high yellow" or "red" or "bright skinned" boys...just about every boyfriend I've ever had has been hersey chocolate dark...my mom thinks it has something to do with the fact that my grandfather was really dark and my father was really light and I loved my grandfather but almost despised my father...could be..never really thought about it.
I'm not black and I don't know who all these people are, but I have heard of flava-flav (I remember public enemy in HS as well as that show he had). I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would want a character like that. How are these girls being raised to think these men are appropriate to bed with?
I totally agree. and he had the nerve to have a show where he was looking for a wife.
Guess what he gave her as a token? a gold grill to put on her teeth.
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....Reality Bites! lol
