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Got together with an ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in 4-5 years, but we've talked almost every day. Problem is the last time I saw him I was 50 lbs lighter, with an hourglass figure. Mind you, he's been wanting to get together with me for a long time but I was afraid if he saw me fat he wouldn't want me anymore. He kept telling me how excited he was in finally seeing me but I was very apprehensive and self-conscious about my weight gain. He reassured me that my weight didn't matter, he still loved me and wanted to see me, missed me, etc. Fast-forward to two days ago when we finally agreed to meet after all this time. I still found him very attractive, and he seemed to be pleased and happy to see me and we ended up in bed together. Without giving away too many details, while I was doing something to him that used to drive him wild, his anatomy didn't respond the way it used to (if you get my drift.) He told me it (his anatomy) wasn't cooperating so we cuddled and kissed for a long time. He said, please don't think you don't turn me on because you do, I don't care about your weight, it's not you, it's me. So after we parted ways, I've only heard from him once and he said, it was wonderful seeing you again, you made me feel so good, next time will be better.
My question is, do you think my weight turned him off and that's why he couldn't perform? Or is he just being polite and saying he doesn't care about my weight? Is this guy code for blowing me off since I'm fat now??
or he thought seeing you again would be great but once he met up with you he realized its not the same as it was in the past. happened to me and an ex before. got together again and i realized why we broke up and wasnt really feelin' her anymore
or maybe a combination of both. only way to know is to ask him!
-Emotionally he probably wanted you for a one night cuddle stand. I think he used you. Which is why you now feel so insecure.
-He is probably telling you the truth about his flaccid hot dog. During the act he could have realized he isn't into you in that way anymore. Other areas play a role in good oral sex. One is a good relationship with the person. You don't have a relationship with him anymore and therefore he is probably not into you in that way.
-I personally would find it annoying if some dude wanted to use me for "cuddle time". Pulhease. That is so weak. And yes it is very "George Costanza-ish".
Thank you all for your opinion, I appreciate your input. I'm going to chalk up that incident as nervousness on my part about my body and pressure to perform on his part. If he's really into me then he'll come around. If not then it just gives me an incentive to get back into shape until I'm comfortable with a man seeing me in my birthday suit again!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy
-Emotionally he probably wanted you for a one night cuddle stand. I think he used you. Which is why you now feel so insecure.
-He is probably telling you the truth about his flaccid hot dog. During the act he could have realized he isn't into you in that way anymore. Other areas play a role in good oral sex. One is a good relationship with the person. You don't have a relationship with him anymore and therefore he is probably not into you in that way.
-I personally would find it annoying if some dude wanted to use me for "cuddle time". Pulhease. That is so weak. And yes it is very "George Costanza-ish".
I agree, what guy would LIE about having a thing like that if they didn't! . They'd rather admit you were fat and ugly and didn't turn them on.
It's not the weight. Weight gain or loss don't matter in these things. It's something else.
Also. Male's anatomy does not always work 100% all the time, especially with age. It's more like the Moon. Sometimes it is full moon, sometimes it is no moon at all, usually, it is something in between.
Why is almost everyone attributing this to him not being into her? Maybe he was overly excited and finished himself of beforehand. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe it's just going to take time for him to get used to you again. After 4-5 years, it's probably like being with a completely new person. And my experiences with most women for the first time is always a little clumsy.
It's not necessarily that he's not into you. While it certainly is possible, that doesn't mean it's definetely the case.
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. They'd rather admit you were fat and ugly and didn't turn them on.
