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After you finish reading it, tell her you would like for her to read it as well.
If she says something smart, tell her then that you think it would be good if you both read it. I wish you luck!!
I agree, he needs to come right out and ask her to read it with him. Somehow I'm thinking she'll make some excuse not to though
DFOR seems to be the only one interested in this marriage.
After you finish reading it, tell her you would like for her to read it as well.
If she says something smart, tell her then that you think it would be good if you both read it. I wish you luck!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
I agree, he needs to come right out and ask her to read it with him. Somehow I'm thinking she'll make some excuse not to though
DFOR seems to be the only one interested in this marriage.
(on edit.... this is not directed at yankeegirl or lovesMountains. just quoting them.)
I am going to start reading it probably next week. Let me explain my wife a little, and I have mentioned this before. My wife is a very good person. Everybody likes her. Nobody has a bad thing to say about her.
But she is a ROCK. Almost like teflon. Nothing gets to her, or gets her down. WE need to communicate much better than we do, and not brush things under the rug and hope they get better. She says that she compartmentalizes. Not exactly sure what she means by that.
Most of my complaints have been in the sex department. I am a guy, and things would be great if she came in the door a couple of times per week and all she wanted to do was jump my bones. That's what this thread was started for. That is how I would like her to show love. Heck, most all guys would love that.
Don't cook, clean, do the laundry, grocery shop, etc. Which she doesn't. She works too much. I do a lot of that. That is one of the ways in which I show my love. I take care of her. So she does not have to worry about these things.
I read about a couple of women here who know how to take care of their husbands. NO, it is not all about me. DO NOT think that I think it should be about me. My MIL did/does EVERYTHING for my FIL. And he shows his love by saying, "Great job, keep up the good work." That is bull..it. I despise him for that, plus many other things.
I think my wife saw that growing up, and said that she is not going to be no slave to her husband. Plus her father has no couth, and makes some perverted remarks when he sees a hottie on tv. You don't say those things in front of your daughters. I think she grew up where sex was almost taboo.
I know that I am not alone where I want to equate strong lustful sex from my wife and love. That is what the other thread is about. I am kind of combining my reply here.
Sure things tend to wane. One spouse stops this and the other stops that. Yes, one of us needs to get the communication back to where it should be. That is why I bought the book.
(on edit.... this is not directed at yankeegirl or lovesMountains. just quoting them.)
I am going to start reading it probably next week. Let me explain my wife a little, and I have mentioned this before. My wife is a very good person. Everybody likes her. Nobody has a bad thing to say about her.
But she is a ROCK. Almost like teflon. Nothing gets to her, or gets her down. WE need to communicate much better than we do, and not brush things under the rug and hope they get better. She says that she compartmentalizes. Not exactly sure what she means by that.
Most of my complaints have been in the sex department. I am a guy, and things would be great if she came in the door a couple of times per week and all she wanted to do was jump my bones. That's what this thread was started for. That is how I would like her to show love. Heck, most all guys would love that.
Don't cook, clean, do the laundry, grocery shop, etc. Which she doesn't. She works too much. I do a lot of that. That is one of the ways in which I show my love. I take care of her. So she does not have to worry about these things.
I read about a couple of women here who know how to take care of their husbands. NO, it is not all about me. DO NOT think that I think it should be about me. My MIL did/does EVERYTHING for my FIL. And he shows his love by saying, "Great job, keep up the good work." That is bull..it. I despise him for that, plus many other things.
I think my wife saw that growing up, and said that she is not going to be no slave to her husband. Plus her father has no couth, and makes some perverted remarks when he sees a hottie on tv. You don't say those things in front of your daughters. I think she grew up where sex was almost taboo.
I know that I am not alone where I want to equate strong lustful sex from my wife and love. That is what the other thread is about. I am kind of combining my reply here.
Sure things tend to wane. One spouse stops this and the other stops that. Yes, one of us needs to get the communication back to where it should be. That is why I bought the book.
I'm pulling for ya DFOR! Just keep trying to reach her and doing what you can to communicate better with her. That book is a great start. And YES, most women would be thrilled if their husbands took as much interest in better communication with them by reading that kind of book.
Okay, been meaning to ask this question also. Here goes. Hopefully it goes better than my last thread.
I bought this book. "The Five Love Languages". It came when we were both in the car getting the mail. I knew what it was, and put it in the back seat. My wife said, "you put that back there quick, is it porn?" She has no reason for that comment.
Anyway, this past Saturday I am looking around the house for the book. Can't remember where I put it. She asks what I am looking for, I tell her a book.
Finally find it and she is lying on the floor watching football. I lay it down next to her, and tell her this is what I was looking for. She glances at it, and says nothing. I'm sitting on the couch. I say, "no comment?"
She looks at me and says, "Are you going to rember what you read?" (on edit--8:30pm. she said it with a smile. she is understanding of my ADD.) I have ADD, and have to read things twice for them to sink in better.
That was it. Wouldn't you think she'd be happy that I wanted to read a book like this? And maybe a discussion as to why I bought it?
And for those of you who want to bash me, go right ahead. I am not perfect. We are never done learning.
I would be very dissapointed if I had gotten the same response from my spouse.
I really hope you and your wife can find a way to come together ... I think most women would be thrilled if their spouse came home with a book like that ... I would think an immediate dialogue would follow...but after you explained more about her, I can see why she responded the way she did...I wish you much success...
Okay, been meaning to ask this question also. Here goes. Hopefully it goes better than my last thread.
I bought this book. "The Five Love Languages". It came when we were both in the car getting the mail. I knew what it was, and put it in the back seat. My wife said, "you put that back there quick, is it porn?" She has no reason for that comment.
Anyway, this past Saturday I am looking around the house for the book. Can't remember where I put it. She asks what I am looking for, I tell her a book.
Finally find it and she is lying on the floor watching football. I lay it down next to her, and tell her this is what I was looking for. She glances at it, and says nothing. I'm sitting on the couch. I say, "no comment?"
She looks at me and says, "Are you going to rember what you read?" (on edit--8:30pm. she said it with a smile. she is understanding of my ADD.) I have ADD, and have to read things twice for them to sink in better.
That was it. Wouldn't you think she'd be happy that I wanted to read a book like this? And maybe a discussion as to why I bought it?
And for those of you who want to bash me, go right ahead. I am not perfect. We are never done learning.
KUDOS for trying! Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars is a GREAT book, old but surprisingly accurate.
I bought mine at the Salvation Army. Look around at thrift stores or on amazon. They are cheap.
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Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars is a GREAT book, old but surprisingly accurate.
