What do you do if society deems you as "not" being relationship material? (date, movies)
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Well, that's one way to never fail. Of course, you'll never be a winner either!
As for me, I wouldn't let "society" dictate my actions, or lack thereof.
Society also deems guys like myself to be doormats for women. I refuse to let that happen. I don't mind having professional relationships with women, but it will never go beyond that.
Like I said in another thread....
I completely understand why people hate others based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and creed. However hating a group of people doesn't mean they don't deserve to be treated with respect. I hate women, but I respect them. That means I will do business with a woman, but I would never date one. I can't stand homosexuals, but I will do business with them. If I see someone being rude to a guy, because he is homosexual I will defend the homosexual. If I see someone being rude to a woman for no reason, I will defend the woman.
The women you dealt with want a man that has a "good paying job", because they're too lazy to put in work in order to pay their own way through life. Trust me dude, women don't give a crap about what you do for a living just as long as you are spending money on them. A woman will date a dude who distributes child pornography for a living just as long as he is buying her expensive gifts once a week. The reason why drug dealers have sexy women on their shoulders is because they have money. It doesn't matter if his issue hits on 12 year old drug dealers who are selling in his territory.
On the other end of spectrum, a woman will date a bum who doesn't want do anything in his life so she can control him and treat him like a little boy.
Most of the time it's one extreme or the other. Men who are in the lower middle class or barely making enough money to place them in the mid range middle class income bracket have the hardest time with attracting women. You can hit the weights at the gym and do endless hours of aerobics in order to stay in shape. The only thing a woman is going to do is keep you as around as the "gay friend with a good body" although you're a heterosexual.
If I read between the lines I think what you're saying is women tend to like the bad boys regardless of their social status or they tend to like the high status men with money/success. The guys in the middle like me are labeled "boring" and just "average" lol. Ok I'm just going to try and remain positive in regards to all this. I don't really want kept around as the "friend" period I've been through enough of all that in my past.
The women you dealt with want a man that has a "good paying job", because they're too lazy to put in work in order to pay their own way through life. Trust me dude, women don't give a crap about what you do for a living just as long as you are spending money on them. A woman will date a dude who distributes child pornography for a living just as long as he is buying her expensive gifts once a week. The reason why drug dealers have sexy women on their shoulders is because they have money. It doesn't matter if his issue hits on 12 year old drug dealers who are selling in his territory.
On the other end of spectrum, a woman will date a bum who doesn't want do anything in his life so she can control him and treat him like a little boy.
Most of the time it's one extreme or the other. Men who are in the lower middle class or barely making enough money to place them in the mid range middle class income bracket have the hardest time with attracting women. You can hit the weights at the gym and do endless hours of aerobics in order to stay in shape. The only thing a woman is going to do is keep you as around as the "gay friend with a good body" although you're a heterosexual.
Ok...obviously you have experienced some things in life that have made you very bitter. But you need to get over those women that you met that treated you like that, and realize that not every women fits the mold you seem to want to throw them in.
I have no children. I have my own home, and a good paying job that I have had for the past 21 years. Please do not tell me, as a woman, that I am LAZY, or dont want to work. Because I have worked since I was 16 years old. However, yes I DO care about what a man does for a living. Because, contrary to what YOU think, I DONT want a drug dealer, or a bum. If I went to college, and bust my butt at my career to bring home money to pay my bills and support myself, then I want a man who brings the same things to the table as I do. How is that not fair? To me, this helps to show the type of values and work ethic that your potentially future partner has.
Also, guess what? I had a male friend of mine, strictly a friend, who actually PUT ME DOWN because I am a woman who works and does for herself.
You know what he told me? He said "look at you...you have your own house, your own things. What man is going to want you?? Men like to feel needed". As GOD is my witness, this is what was told to me. And he is not the only man out here that feels that way.
Yet, the other half of you whine about gold diggers??? Which is it??? What the heck do you want? The fact that I have a job and a house does not mean that I wont appeciate or need what a man can offer me. Sheesh I swear. Damned if you do, damed if you don't.
Ok...obviously you have experienced some things in life that have made you very bitter. But you need to get over those women that you met that treated you like that, and realize that not every women fits the mold you seem to want to throw them in.
I have no children. I have my own home, and a good paying job that I have had for the past 21 years. Please do not tell me, as a woman, that I am LAZY, or dont want to work. Because I have worked since I was 16 years old. However, yes I DO care about what a man does for a living. Because, contrary to what YOU think, I DONT want a drug dealer, or a bum. If I went to college, and bust my butt at my career to bring home money to pay my bills and support myself, then I want a man who brings the same things to the table as I do. How is that not fair? To me, this helps to show the type of values and work ethic that your potentially future partner has.
Also, guess what? I had a male friend of mine, strictly a friend, who actually PUT ME DOWN because I am a woman who works and does for herself.
You know what he told me? He said "look at you...you have your own house, your own things. What man is going to want you?? Men like to feel needed". As GOD is my witness, this is what was told to me. And he is not the only man out here that feels that way.
Yet, the other half of you whine about gold diggers??? Which is it??? What the heck do you want? The fact that I have a job and a house does not mean that I wont appeciate or need what a man can offer me. Sheesh I swear. Damned if you do, damed if you don't.
Well thanks for using my thread as a launching pad for your preaching So since you admit that women pursue men with a good career or are picky about a guys career I guess my original question is still valid. Does a guy like me just serial date or pledge celibacy or what? By the way men want to feel needed yes but there are a lot of ways you can show that it doesn't have to be shown through money.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 01-30-2010 at 02:19 PM..
Maybe you are trying too hard. Try being less nice, women want what they can't have.
This is true and it works. Trouble is, it only gets someone interested, but then it's technically a form of lying, and if deep down you're a "nice guy who tells the truth" you're gonna be in the position to have to fess up and tell her what she sees ain't really so(that you're actually available which translates into boring to women) or you will just do something to sabotage the relationship from blossoming
take it from me i've been there
no one has issues with intimacy like me, with women, with same sex friends (not talking about gay) even with therapists
with the women is "I ain't got the bread, I ain't got the car, i ain't got the savings, I ain't got the assets so please find someone who does then you won't be disssapointed"
I know there are good people out there, of both sexes, who do not want someone for their money or earning potential. These people care more about a potential mate's character and values. It's difficult to find quality people, but they are out there. You just have to keep the faith and keep dating. Each relationship that does not work out rings you one step closer to one that will. Remember you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. For me, finding true love was worth the risk.
Tell friends, family, maybe co-workers, neighbors, whoever, that you're interested in meeting a woman to pursue a relationship. Ask them to introduce you to potential dates that meet most of your criteria. You may not be able to do it alone, and having others be on the lookout can increase your dating pool and chance for success.
If I read between the lines I think what you're saying is women tend to like the bad boys regardless of their social status or they tend to like the high status men with money/success. The guys in the middle like me are labeled "boring" and just "average" lol. Ok I'm just going to try and remain positive in regards to all this. I don't really want kept around as the "friend" period I've been through enough of all that in my past.
BINGO
You passed.
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So since you admit that women pursue men with a good career or are picky about a guys career I guess my original question is still valid. Does a guy like me just serial date or pledge celibacy or what? By the way men want to feel needed yes but there are a lot of ways you can show that it doesn't have to be shown through money.
True
