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Wrong..... Nobody is replaceable, not a Husband, not a Wife, not anybody.
Sorry but I disagree...people are often married more then once in their life...while of course you can give birth to more then one child...that does not replace the child you loose.
A child is from your own body...loosing that child has got to be a pain that stays with you for the rest of your life.
I have heard that in christian teachings they tell you to put the husband first, I beleive this is another example of a patriarchal teaching gone unchecked. The child is defenseless...the children must be protected...your spouse can fend for themselves.
Sorry but I disagree...people are often married more then once in their life...while of course you can give birth to more then one child...that does not replace the child you loose.
A child is from your own body...loosing that child has got to be a pain that stays with you for the rest of your life.
I have heard that in christian teachings they tell you to put the husband first, I beleive this is another example of a patriarchal teaching gone unchecked. The child is defenseless...the children must be protected...your spouse can fend for themselves.
I understand what your saying, I just don't consider getting a new spouse as a replacement because it's not the same person.
Loosing a child is the worst thing and yes it stays with you forever.
And it doesn't matter how my child came to me. Her welfare is my first concern.
I'm not talking about superficial stuff here - I mean as opposed to the women we keep hearing about that sacrifice their child (metaphorically or literally) for the love of a man.
This might be a little controversial but I would love to hear the views of women and men on this topic.
Should a woman put her relationship with her spouse first or do her children come first?
I have my own little theory on this, but I'll remain quiet for the time being.
It depends on a lot of things, like how old the "child" is. Generally speaking, a child under the age of 18 should take priority. But I've witnessed many parents claim they are putting their children first when really they just have terrible boundaries -- the child behaves like a brat and the parent puts up with it (at the great dismay of the significant other) and the defense is that he/she is putting the child first...
First let me say that I completely respect your perspective and admire so much that you love your children.
I was asked the same question a few years ago and after thinking long and hard, I chose my husband. I can always have more children with my husband, who will be there so we can support each other in our loss. With a child, I cannot create another husband and chances are I will have to support both myself and the child in the loss of a husband and a father.
I would save neither because they would both have life preservers on !!!
Almost all the women I know are all about the kids. But the happiest women I know strive for balance. They work at being great moms but their relationships also remain a priority. I think these are the women with the best kids too. The kids grew up knowing they were loved and important but they also knew they couldn't be number one all the time.
My relationship-marriage, is a priority. So is my job. So are my parents, grandparents and other family. So are my children.
As a mother, I could NEVER say that I would save my husband first because I can always have more children. NO YOU CAN NOT. You can NEVER have another child like the one you lost. I don't care if you can have 50 more children. Not ONE of them will be the same as the child you lost. Every child is different-has a special trait, personaility about them. If I lost my Zachary, no matter if I had more children, not one of them would be like him. You can't substitute children with another child. IMO, that's a crazy notion.
Can't we get another husband? People get other husbands/wives all the time-it's called divorce and remarrying. Of course, some people might think that was a crazy notion.
When you made the choice to become a parent, you made the choice to be responsible for that child for the rest of your life, even when he isn't a child anymore. The child didn't ask to come into this world, therefore it wasn't his choice. It was yours, and your responsibility. My children will always, always, always come first....within reason.
Keeping a happy balance with a relationship/marriage is putting the children first too...as they will have a happy homelife. In that respect, all things should be even. life or death matter....spouse who isn't ready anymore to be a parent...see ya.
Well, if you were living back a few hundred years ago, you would save your husband (hunter, privider) because without him you would all face a grim future.
Well, if you were living back a few hundred years ago, you would save your husband (hunter, privider) because without him you would all face a grim future.
Luckily I am not living back in the dark ages, so I can think in real life terms. Then again, perhaps that would just make the woman stronger-if she learned to do what the husband had done before she saved her child over him
See, in real life, I have a good job-and can be provider for my child. Remember, if we are putting children first, we are finding any method to make their life better and successful. Children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. ~Whitney Housten
After further evaluating the situation and reading other threads posted by her, it appears she doesn't have children.
What the statement reminded me of was a few years back; the young mother that put her kids in the car and dumped them out into a body of water and then said someone hijacked the car. Cant remember the girls name but I think it was in Oklahoma. She had everyone searching for the kids all becuase she wanted to start anew with her new boyfriend. I dont know why but thats the mental image I got when reading the post.
The girl you speak of (who killed her children) was from Union, SC. I know because my father helped to work the case (he was chief of detectives for the sheriff's department one county over). Now, if I may say so, I'm sure you meant no offense, but I think we should all be careful that we stick to the subject instead of going off on tangents such as the one above.
To answer the question posed, since I can't swim, my husband would save the child. He would quickly weigh the situation, and if he could, he would swim back out to save me. He is a retired firefighter; if he judged he couldn't save me or if the child could not be left in safety while he tried, he would say a prayer for me and cry as I passed into God's loving arms.
I have always believed that if my husband and my son we drowning, I would go after my son first. Most parents would save the children first. So I guess my child has come over my husband in the aspect of our marriage. It is very hard to be in the middle when it comes to children, because children aren't as smart, and don't know as much as adults. I think we have more compassion toward our children, but I have always loved my husband, and he has always understood. Through thick and thin we have been married a long time. and now the kid is grown, it is our time to enjoy. No more worrying about saving anyone from drowning!
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Great Answer
