Affair (other man in your house) and legal rights (girlfriend, loving, cheating)
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To make a long story short, I came home early from a business trip and I caught my then girlfriend in bed with another man. Needless to say, I was furious. Apparently the cheating had been going on for a few months. It had been a 3-year relationship and I never saw this coming. I was in complete shock.
I ordered the man out of the house and told my girlfriend that she had 30 minutes to gather all of her belongings and never return (I fully own the house, she had just been periodically staying there time to time). It was very painful doing so, but I knew it was what I had to do. Once you can't trust someone, you have nothing.
Anyway, here's my question. I'm relatively strong 6' 180 and can bench around 305. I'm not the best fighter in the country, but I'm pretty good, I've won a few local and statewide Tae-Kwon-Do tournaments. Would I have legally been able to beat the crap out of the home-wrecker guy? I really wanted to teach him a lesson right there, was angry enough where I was about to, but then decided that he was not worth getting into trouble over. I figured it would probably be illegal. Keep in mind that I am not a violent person and have not been in a fist fight since I was 12 years old.
I started wondering: What my rights would have been in this situation? Would he have been considered a trespasser / intruder given that he was invited into the house, but obviously not welcome by the house owner? Would physically fighting with him have been against the law?
I have not seen either one of them since that day, and plan on never seeing either person again. But sometimes I think back and regret not at least punching the guy.....
Should I have done more? What would you have done if you were me? What would be the right thing to do in this situation?
He was an invited guest in your home and posed no physical threat to you to claim self defense. Even though you own the house she was allowed by you to be there freely. The only person that would have got his rear end in a sling at that point would have been you - as unfair as it seems.
Legal rights and laws would have been the last thing on my mind. I'm 6'4 and built like a ****house, and I would have kicked seven colours of crap out of that little shyster.
Legal rights and laws would have been the last thing on my mind. I'm 6'4 and built like a ****house, and I would have kicked seven colours of crap out of that little shyster.
Right. Then you'd be the one in jail and paying the man damages for the rest of your life - so is it worth it for that little bit of machismo ego bruise. No one was trespassing, he did not try to attack you, you did not call the police to report an intruder was in your home...etc. Besides the issue is really with the girlfriend not the guy. If SHE has no respect for your relationship why the hell should he. He was just following her lead. She is the one you had the relationship with not him. Therefore, your issue is with her.
Right. Then you'd be the one in jail and paying the man damages for the rest of your life - so is it worth it for that little bit of machismo ego bruise. No one was trespassing, he did not try to attack you, you did not call the police to report an intruder was in your home...etc.
I'm probably too hurt and emotional to think straight. Someone just shagged my missus in my house on my bed - I think I'd have too much anger and hurt to not react. Not saying it's right and the correct way, but just being realistic about my reactions.
More than likely you would have been in a lot of trouble. For one thing, he's not an intruder, even though it was your home, your girlfriend invited him in. For another, if you are a blackbelt in martial arts not too many courts are going to be ruling in your favor since you have what would be considered an unfair advantage over the average person. If you hurt him badly enough it could be ruled excessive force. I'm no lawyer, but I've seen too many cases go against someone who claimed self defense after they beat the other guy into raw hamburger.
While it stings like hell to come home to something like that, you handled it well. You gave them both the boot. Besides, the one who you really need to direct your anger at is her, not him so much, unless of course you two knew one another. Not saying you shouldn't be angry or that you shoudn't WANT to beat his ass, but more than likely it would have landed you in big trouble.
I'm probably too hurt and emotional to think straight. Someone just shagged my missus in my house on my bed - I think I'd have too much anger and hurt to not react. Not saying it's right and the correct way, but just being realistic about my reactions.
But you'd be reacting to the wrong person. She is the one you have the relationship with not him so if she doesn't give a squat or show any respect or regard for your relationship why would you expect him to. You have no relationship with this man - only her. I never get why people always get mad at the OTHER person instead of the person they are with. She could have told him anything about who owned or lived in that house - you don't know.
Right. Then you'd be the one in jail and paying the man damages for the rest of your life - so is it worth it for that little bit of machismo ego bruise. No one was trespassing, he did not try to attack you, you did not call the police to report an intruder was in your home...etc.
Keep in mind though that the owner of the house did not invite him in and he was obviously not wanted there. A teenage gang-banger could invite walk into my house and "invite" one of his friends inside. I'm not a lawyer, so I really don't know if that's trespassing or not.
Needless to say, I had so much (besides a loving girlfriend) going for me, I didn't want to risk an arrest and fines for a piece of crap who I would never see again. I think about it a lot though and it just pisses me off.
I guess my only consolation, if you can call it that, is that my life has turned out pretty well since that moment. I heard from some mutual friends later on that the homewrecker and my GF were together for a couple months, then they broke up because he ended up cheating on her (Gee, what a surprise ). The last I've heard neither one has been doing that well. I guess karma's a b****.
Keep in mind though that the owner of the house did not invite him in and he was obviously not wanted there. A teenage gang-banger could invite walk into my house and "invite" one of his friends inside. I'm not a lawyer, so I really don't know if that's trespassing or not.
Needless to say, I had so much (besides a loving girlfriend) going for me, I didn't want to risk an arrest and fines for a piece of crap who I would never see again. I think about it a lot though and it just pisses me off.
I guess my only consolation, if you can call it that, is that my life has turned out pretty well since that moment. I heard from some mutual friends later on that the homewrecker and my GF were together for a couple months, then they broke up because he ended up cheating on her (Gee, what a surprise ). The last I've heard neither one has been doing that well. I guess karma's a b****.
She has a key you gave her and you have freely allowed to come and go as she pleases. If SHE invites someone there you don't want there then you tell them to leave and you tell her you don't want so and so in your home. Throwing them out without physical force was exactly the way you should handle it. He's not the problem - she was the problem so direct your anger at her as she is the one that disrespected you and your relationship. If she didn't care why should anyone else. He didn't cross a line he wasn't invited to cross so keep that in mind.
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). The last I've heard neither one has been doing that well. I guess karma's a b****.
