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Ok mcb, I know you think I'm being antagonistic, but a little cross-examination doesn't hurt.
Often folks will reveal more information, and undisclosed facts as theyre gently probed, and the pot is stirred.
Pretty much the only facts you're revealing is that this woman is a manipulating drama queen, and you need to get rid.
My original advice still stands tho. Don't just disappear, make a point of telling her, and tell her clearly.
Limpets like this don't get the message easily.
Ok all, I know what I need to do now. I'm just going to call her and tell her we're through, that our relationship isn't healthy, and that it's best if we move on.
I'm pretty sure it will benefit me and hopefully it will shine some light for her.
Ok mcb, I know you think I'm being antagonistic, but a little cross-examination doesn't hurt.
Often folks will reveal more information, and undisclosed facts as theyre gently probed, and the pot is stirred.
Pretty much the only facts you're revealing is that this woman is a manipulating drama queen, and you need to get rid.
My original advice still stands tho. Don't just disappear, make a point of telling her, and tell her clearly.
Limpets like this don't get the message easily.
Good luck.
At first, I thought you were, bobman. But now I totally see where you're coming from and I agree with you. Thanks!
It would have been better if you had just told her you didn't want to see her any more and that you think it's best if the two of you didn't communicate at all. But we are here, now.
At this point - Do not respond to any text messages, do not return phone calls. IF you happen to pick up a call from her you will need to be polite and simply state that you wish her well but think there is no point in continuing a relationship with her and that you don't think it's a good idea to stay in contact.
I know it's uncomfortale to say these things - but it's far more mature to state where you are at & allow the other person to know where they stand (or don't stand!) with you.
Best wishes.
What I find most amazing about your post is that it's generated 5 pages of responses in about 4 hours ... damn , must be a record ...
Anyway , never posted in the relationship section and I'm not a psychiatrist , but I think I can help you out here :
It sounds like you're dealing with the type of girl that gets off on constantly testing a man. I think she flirts with other guys at the bar , frankly , because she wants to see what you're going to do about it. She says things like she wants to move back home across the country when you're making out because she wants to see you , in her mind , take charge and tell her not to go and how much you want her , blah , blah , blah ... same with when she leaves at 3 a.m. ... wants to get a reaction out of you and for you to stop her. Girls like this ARE immature and total pains in the a*s , and you should move on quickly.
From one guy to another , do exactly what you are doing and gently phase her out. Don't see her , keep the texts to a minimum and just go find another girl. Don't tell her about it once you do , keep your private life to yourself , and don't go and mess with her some random night just because you're in the mood because it will start things back at zero again.
Some women want what they consider 'closure' and by that they want a formal break-up and an explanation why you're moving on , but if you think about it , what is there to gain by doing that? If she's unstable she's going to give you problems when she knows you're going to dump her , and you also give her the chance to verbally lay into you in her anger and push buttons in your head that might leave you second guessing yourself as a man though you probably don't need to. DON'T GIVE HER THE CHANCE.
Just phase her out as you've been doing , you don't need the b.s. , and find another girl. If she confronts you directly , in public , or coming to your house or work , then tell her directly it's over and you want nothing to do with her anymore. No more explanation needed. You didn't mess things up , she did. Dating and relationships are supposed to be fun and mutually beneficial and respectful , if she doesn't make you happy or treat you with respect , just move on.
What I find most amazing about your post is that it's generated 5 pages of responses in about 4 hours ... damn , must be a record ...
Anyway , never posted in the relationship section and I'm not a psychiatrist , but I think I can help you out here :
It sounds like you're dealing with the type of girl that gets off on constantly testing a man. I think she flirts with other guys at the bar , frankly , because she wants to see what you're going to do about it. She says things like she wants to move back home across the country when you're making out because she wants to see you , in her mind , take charge and tell her not to go and how much you want her , blah , blah , blah ... same with when she leaves at 3 a.m. ... wants to get a reaction out of you and for you to stop her. Girls like this ARE immature and total pains in the a*s , and you should move on quickly.
From one guy to another , do exactly what you are doing and gently phase her out. Don't see her , keep the texts to a minimum and just go find another girl. Don't tell her about it once you do , keep your private life to yourself , and don't go and mess with her some random night just because you're in the mood because it will start things back at zero again.
Some women want what they consider 'closure' and by that they want a formal break-up and an explanation why you're moving on , but if you think about it , what is there to gain by doing that? If she's unstable she's going to give you problems when she knows you're going to dump her , and you also give her the chance to verbally lay into you in her anger and push buttons in your head that might leave you second guessing yourself as a man though you probably don't need to. DON'T GIVE HER THE CHANCE.
Just phase her out as you've been doing , you don't need the b.s. , and find another girl. If she confronts you directly , in public , or coming to your house or work , then tell her directly it's over and you want nothing to do with her anymore. No more explanation needed. You didn't mess things up , she did. Dating and relationships are supposed to be fun and mutually beneficial and respectful , if she doesn't make you happy or treat you with respect , just move on.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
Umm good topics generate flourishing threads? Haha IDK. What can I say, C-D users have always left me satisfied
Anyways, I think you and the other posters make some good points. I've already begun to phase her out by not texting and having very limited conversations. If she asks me if something's wrong, I guess that'll be my opportunity to tell her straight up that I'm moving on. If she eventually stops texting/calling me, that just saves me the trouble of explaining it to her.
Umm good topics generate flourishing threads? Haha IDK. What can I say, C-D users have always left me satisfied
Anyways, I think you and the others posters make some good points. I've already begun to phase her out by not texting and having very limited conversations. If she asks me if something's wrong, I guess that'll be myopportunity to tell her straight up that I'm moving on.If she eventually stops texting/calling me, that just saves me the trouble of explaining it to her.
Thanks!
Thats a game, not that she doesn't deserve it. If you'd like to end things on that note..here's a suggestion..take her out to a bar have a couple drinks like you normally would..when she wanders off to do her thing...disappear..when she calls or texts to ask why...tell her your done.
Thats a game, not that she doesn't deserve it. If you'd like to end things on that note..here's a suggestion..take her out to a bar have a couple drinks like you normally would..when she wanders off to do her thing...disappear..when she calls or texts to ask why...tell her your done.
And if in this one instance she doesn't wander off to talk to another guy, then I'm stuck with her. I'd have to go through the trouble of making sure everything worked accordingly, which is more work than I'm interested in doing. Hypothetically, though, it sounds like a great plan.
And if in this one instance she doesn't wander off to talk to another guy, then I'm stuck with her. I'd have to go through the trouble of making sure everything worked accordingly, which is more work than I'm interested in doing. Hypothetically, though, it sounds like a great plan.
You'd still have the opportunity to end it right then and there, tell her your ending the relationship wish her well..ask her if she needs a ride.. and say good nite. Sorry to say but your giving her the control of ending it.
Just my 2 cents.
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