What is with the attraction to younger girls? (immature, free, like)
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20-something year old men women prefer 20-something year old men for procreation. Unless they have Daddy Abandonment Issues, which maykes the whole May-December thing kind of creepy. I think that's why I see so many young couples around and fewer of the May-December ones.
Hi laorbust61,
I already explained why that is before 22. After that age, it typically drifts towards older men as it has for 1000s of years. After 40, the age differences in marriage tends to grow. Note I said marriage. The less typical cougar effect is usually more casual. As I have also said, the layers of fat have completely turned things on their head where 40 year old women can look better than her daughter.
This?
Or that?
To review my statements I have never suggested anything about May-December romances. I repeated over and over and over again why 16 year old girls are attractive to men of all ages while 16 year old boys are not. Why do people keep bring this straw man up? When I was 35 I had no problem attracting women in their 20s, none. As I said when I was 18 I was competing against a 35 year old married man for my 5 '6", C-cup runner girl friend with blond with hair to the middle of her back. It is not isolated to me since I saw this all the time including my knock out 2nd cousin who was with a 40 year old in her early twenties. 2-8 year gaps are much more common place, historical and probably more stable.
Though again, these days just don't be in the 2/3. I just renewed my drivers license and told the guy I dropped 5 pounds and he smiled and said that's a good thing as if is were unusual. I looked around and it sure seems to be.
Yes, but a 16 year old girl is not an appropriate sex partner for any man, old or young. She is cannot even mindfully knowingly consent to the sex, which makes it, you know what. I just refuse to believe that men are the lust-crazed soul-less, godless animals you are painting them to be. Along the lines of, "all they want is young flesh" Maybe you will understand one day when you have a daughter and she is attractive enough to draw men's glances.
Btw, I met a 60 year old man the other night and he has boundaries about chasing women that reason says are too young for him. And he is handsome, sophisticated, and sexy. And him wanting more age-appropriate women in his life makes him even more so. He had a full head of hair and was in great shape, too. (fingers crossed!)
Hello again. I don't have much of an argument with that, because men can and do sire children at older ages than women can bear them. David Letterman fathered a child when he was, what, 60? Very few women could bear a child at that age.
Greetings JustJulia,
Most women need surrogates into their 40s.
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My main concern is when there is a large disparity in ages. A man who is 50, bedding a woman who is 20--yes, he could father a child. But what then? The young wife could stay home and raise the children, which sounds idyllic, but even if there's only one kid, 20 more years makes Mom 40 and Dad 70.
Never have, and never will suggest these age gaps make long term sense at all. You are talking to the wrong person.
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She'll be widowed right around the age where men who value young wives so much would never ever take a second look at her. And if the father passes away earlier than 70, or fathers additional children, now she's a widow with minor children. You've read the attitude about "other men's children"--you share them. That woman has set herself up for destitution and loneliness. Who will take care of her? She hasn't has a chance to go to college or start her own business, those pretty "wait till later" words fed to her. Hopefully the old coot left her some money to live on.
That is how I would figure it as well. However consider say an 8 year age gap. Once he hits 48 and she is 40, what exactly is going to be this young replacement? 35? It also depends on the man. Some men don't have sex drives etc. The point being there are advantages. Though if I did believe in large age gaps, its odd that I declined a 12 year one.
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Even worse, once she ages about 15 years while raising their children, he could realize that the withered old pea pod just isn't good enough for him anymore, and it's time to trade her in for another hot young thing. From all the nasty golddigger talk among the PUAs, I doubt Mrs. Pod is getting a dime. So long, and thanks for all the tight vagina.
Again this just distracts from actual points that actually mean anything. If you have anything to say about the following then be my guest. I made these points:
* 16 year old girls may look attractive to most men.
* 16 year old boys look like skinny, pale dumbo eared grocery baggers
* Men's preference for youth in selecting mates is embedded in their predisposition to bond for the long term. (never tell a woman good news, they won't believe it if a penis is attached to it)
* We find mates at a similar age due in part due to the co-ed educational system.
Otherwise look for the handle of Don Cornelius and see what he has to say. I believe he crossed several boundaries including a breast gap.
* 16 year old girls may look attractive to most men.
* 16 year old boys look like skinny, pale dumbo eared grocery baggers
However, many gay men find 16-year-old boys extremely attractive. Which leads me to the conclusion that 16-year-old boys are not skinny, pale dumbo grocery baggers: you're just not interested in them, because you're a straight guy. Why don't women contemplate them in a sexual way? Germaine Greer talked about that in her book The Beautiful Boy. Suffice it to say that IMO we tend to feel more maternal than anything else towards individuals that we consider to be virtually children, but as Greer points out, culture (where power, reason, "maturity", experience and knowledge are presupposed to be contributed by men, not by women) also plays a part, as always.
Some 16-year-old boys are actually very alluring, but I would say that their best moment, physically speaking, comes between the age of 18 and the age of 22.
However, many gay men find 16-year-old boys extremely attractive. Which leads me to the conclusion that 16-year-old boys are not skinny, pale dumbo grocery baggers: you're just not interested in them, because you're a straight guy.
Hi noela,
Men, even gay men, prefer youth. I know because I attracted a few flamers in my teen years. Are they sexually attractive to 30 year old women? We are talking about why men find youth attractive.
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Why don't women contemplate them in a sexual way? Germaine Greer talked about that in her book The Beautiful Boy. Suffice it to say that IMO we tend to feel more maternal than anything else towards individuals that we consider to be virtually children, but as Greer points out, culture (where power, reason, "maturity", experience and knowledge are presupposed to be contributed by men, not by women) also plays a part, as always.
Some 16-year-old boys are actually very alluring, but I would say that their best moment, physically speaking, comes between the age of 18 and the age of 22.
Most even slightly older women are not tripping over themselves to get them. There is always that 5% specimen naturally.
To review my statements I have never suggested anything about May-December romances. I repeated over and over and over again why 16 year old girls are attractive to men of all ages while 16 year old boys are not. Why do people keep bring this straw man up?
Hi Gwyn. It's not a straw man. This is a real phenomenon. There's a poster in this thread who claims to be 51 with an 18-year-old "keeper" girlfriend.
Men, even gay men prefer youth. I know because I attracted a few flamers in my teen years. Are they sexually attractive to 30 year old women? We are talking about why men find youth attractive.
I was merely pointing out that 16-year-old boys are not the unattractive individuals you said they were.
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Originally Posted by gwynedd1
Most even slightly older women are not tripping over themselves to get them. There is always that 5% specimen naturally.
Sure, and that's why I was referring to the possible biological and cultural reasons behind that. I acknowledge the fact. Germaine Greer wrote in the aforementioned book that it was one of the last sexual taboos: an older woman feeling sexually attracted to a teen boy, instead of feeling immaculately maternal and protective, which is what is perceived as the natural female reaction. A woman preferring to be the "dominant" party and the one with the most experience, a woman who wants to pursue a 16-year-old boy, conjures up (and I'm dramatizing, but just a little bit) images of mental illness and witchcraft, of irresponsible mothers, of nymphomaniac lunacy, or will be simply looked down with disdain by many people. Hardly an appetizing prospect for any woman, insecure as we tend to be, to indulge in. Very young males aren't marketed as sexually alluring to women (I remark women, as opposed to girls), or as adequate lovers and partners, but I must add that I think this is changing, same as gender roles are being erased, complemented, etc.: I have several girl friends whose male partners are younger than them. One of my girl friends is 11 years older than her male counterpart, her being 35 and his being 24. When they began dating, he was 17. It's not the only case I know. Needless to say, he's much more physically attractive and (I infer) sexually active than most men her age. And, since he still keeps his energy, enthusiasm, vitality and eagerness to learn, he's a more than apt companion, any way you look at it.
Of course, young males aren't perfect. But I think the most important downside, when a woman is financially independent, is our inability to follow in their footsteps with regards to physical activity, ever-changing hobbies and interests, etc. And their unwillingness to just settle down. We're just at different stages in life. These objections apply to young females as well, but in any case my point still is: very young people are always attractive, male and female. They have their lives ahead of them. They have physical beauty, energy and strength, three qualities which make for a potentially wonderful sex life. They have enthusiasm and aren't scarred by life (generally speaking). There's a lot to learn, or remember, from them, beyond ordinary sexual escapades. Which would be fine by themselves, too.
Since I don't need or want a father figure, a mentor, financial security, etc. I've never felt attracted to older men per se. And now that I'm one of the "older women" and supposed to better appreciate their sexiness, I can't understand what is so special about them yet... I'm one of the 5% you alluded to, a percentage which will be steadily increasing, I'm sure.
btw, older women are a turn-on for many young men as well, I can tell you. And not without pride
That's true. Didn't think of that. Maybe she'll get to go to school when she's in her 60s. Woohoo!
I want to add to what I said earlier, because it wasn't completely fair. Another hazard of marrying someone much younger is that she'll get tired of him. A man might be looking for a young trophy wife to bear his children and comfort him in his golden years, but there's no guarantee that's what he'll get (hence the PUA's golddigger comments). I've said for a long time that when you judge people solely on looks, sometimes that's all you get. Caveat emptor, guys.
Hi Gwyn. It's not a straw man. This is a real phenomenon. There's a poster in this thread who claims to be 51 with an 18-year-old "keeper" girlfriend.
Hi JustJulia,
Its still a fringe. It is usual across time or culture. Yet it is telling. 18 year old girls are indeed universally attractive. So is good pizza with lots of toppings. She is more likely in it for something rather low altitude on the Maslow mound like "feed me".
Its still a fringe. It is usual across time or culture. Yet it is telling. 18 year old girls are indeed universally attractive. So is good pizza with lots of toppings. She is more likely in it for something rather low altitude on the Maslow mound like "feed me".
The eight-year difference you mention does sound reasonable once the younger person approaches 25-ish. Before that, the age difference becomes increasingly magnified with each year. My youngest cousin was 11 with a 19-year-old boyfriend, and pretty much everyone winces at that.
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