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Unless there is a threesome and I am not included then I would tell.
Dang, Cat, I can't tell if you are just hopeless or maybe hopefull!
Keep to yourself or tell friend?
For me that is hard question, I'm not usually into ratting on either friend, but one thing I do know, that would ruin my friendship with the one of them that dropped their pants/panties. I don't know if the stripper was a male or female so I don't know the gender of the offending person. Not that it makes a difference. While that might be fun and some people would excuse it because alcohol was probably involved, I wouldn't excuse it. Wrong is wrong, and there is just no way of getting around that. If it were the male that cheated on his girlfriend, what kind of a friend would he make? You could never trust him. I suspect however that it was the girlfriend who cheated with a male stripper, since the OP is a female and would be going to a bachlorette party instead of a bachlor party. Darn am I over analyzing this or what?
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 04-30-2010 at 12:28 PM..
I would not tell, which is of no surprise to some of you here. However, if you are in a committed relationship, you shouldn't be using a bachelor party as an excuse to cheat with some hooker or stripper, male or female.
You're good friends with an engaged couple and you are invited to go to their bachelor/bachelorette party and while you are there your engaged friend cheats by having sex with strippers,do you tell your other friend(their fiancee/fiance) or keep it to yourself?
I stay out of other people's relationships, and would expect them to stay out of mine.
Assumptions - who said it was cheating? You don't have to like it, don't remain friends - but you don't know the terms of their relationship or whether the person involved has already TOLD (not confessed). Mind your own Fng business.
I didn't know there were moral police. Please tell me about the next election so I can vote against the ones who elect themselves judge and jury.
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Originally Posted by Avienne
Oh, HECK yes I'd tell! I hope you got pictures, to boot.
And now I'm going to sit back and watch the riot commence.
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Originally Posted by Avienne
I'd mention it right away so that whoever is footing the bill for this can cancel and perhaps get some money back on the festivities, and folks can return the gifts and save some wrapping paper. Also, it would be a shame for all of the food from the caterers to go to waste.
Have some popcorn, Matt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
I would not tell, which is of no surprise to some of you here. However, if you are in a committed relationship, you shouldn't be using a bachelor party as an excuse to cheat with some hooker or stripper, male or female.
What if it isn't cheating per their agreement? Do you know if there was one to permit this?
Thank you, voices of reason!
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Originally Posted by Capt. Dan
I would tell just as soon I became perfect.
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Originally Posted by TKramar
I stay out of other people's relationships, and would expect them to stay out of mine.
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Originally Posted by J'aimeDesVilles
I would keep it to myself. Another's relationship is not my business.
Assumptions - who said it was cheating? You don't have to like it, don't remain friends - but you don't know the terms of their relationship or whether the person involved has already TOLD (not confessed). Mind your own Fng business.
I didn't know there were moral police. Please tell me about the next election so I can vote against the ones who elect themselves judge and jury.
What if it isn't cheating per their agreement? Do you know if there was one to permit this?
Thank you, voices of reason!
Well of course if it was something that was agreed upon it wouldn't be cheating. If they have an open relationship in that regard then more power to them, enjoy the party and all the trimmings. I'm going on the assumption that we're talking about two monogamous people are engaged to one another and that the extra-curricular activities that take place at the party would not be met with approval by the other partner. Regardless, I'm not the type to snitch or pass judgment and it would not be something that would end my friendship with that person.
The only further comment on this I would make is the second part of the Wedding statement I quoted earlier ends with, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." If you do not tell or speak up before the Wedding, after it you should never, and I mean for-ever, say anything about what you know. It should be as if nothing happened.
I wouldn't tell. If the guy was a serial cheater, that's different, I might say something depending on how good of a friend I was with the person.
But if it was just one time, or I didn't know the guy getting married very well, I wouldn't say a thing. A dude is about to get married where in 10 years he may very well find himself never getting any sex in his marriage, or find himself divorced paying alimony. If he wants one night to get crazy with women that mean nothing to him beyond a one time crazy fun experience, then let him have it.
It's not your responsibility to tell.
If you do tell, the woman about to get married may end up feeling like it's her fault and she drove him to it. In the end the woman could possibly end up bearing more guilt feelings on herself than the man would.
I've never cheated, but I've always been told that if you do and it was only one time, don't tell the other person. You should bear the shame and guilt inside yourself. If you come out and be honest/open with your wife, you're passing your burden of guilt onto her. You will feel like you let it out and got it off your chest since you held that secret, but you'll end up torturing your wife with it.
Dang, Cat, I can't tell if you are just hopeless or maybe hopefull!
Keep to yourself or tell friend?
For me that is hard question, I'm not usually into ratting on either friend, but one thing I do know, that would ruin my friendship with the one of them that dropped their pants/panties. I don't know if the stripper was a male or female so I don't know the gender of the offending person. Not that it makes a difference. While that might be fun and some people would excuse it because alcohol was probably involved, I wouldn't excuse it. Wrong is wrong, and there is just no way of getting around that. If it were the male that cheated on his girlfriend, what kind of a friend would he make? You could never trust him. I suspect however that it was the girlfriend who cheated with a male stripper, since the OP is a female and would be going to a bachlorette party instead of a bachlor party. Darn am I over analyzing this or what?
Not at all. It's an irresponsible, dishonest thing to do, and if it was that obvious at a party, pretty disrespectful in its blatancy, to boot. Personally, irresponsible, dishonest, and disrespectful people aren't my bag, and I try to avoid them wherever possible. I just don't like them.
If I saw things heading that way with a close friend of mine (and I do mean close, which would mean someone I know to be basically responsible, honest, and kind, if drunk, not an acquaintance), I'd yank her aside and say, "Heya, you know that guy is thinking you're going to bang him, right? Is that what you're intending?" I did indeed do that in far less typical situations years ago--and been thanked profusely for it afterward. Just the 30 seconds it took for the person to stop and think prevented a HUGE alcohol-induced mistake that could have cost her her relationship.
But hey, that's why my friends know I have their backs, and vice versa: We know each other very well, and we respect each other and trust each other's judgment and good intentions enough that when something like that happens and someone speaks up, we know the discussion is happening for the right reasons.
And hey, never mind morality. Who wants to hear about a drunk friend getting raped and murdered by a psychopath on the eve of her wedding? Stranger things have happened.
But that's me and my friends, back when we were young and always on the go, partying, whooping it up, being crazy. Either times have changed or there are just a lot of people out there who would rather their close friends be spectators to train wrecks in the making. Whatever. We all have different definitions of friendship.
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