How a woman's sex drive changes through 30's,40's,50's... (hubby, kids)

[Arty Olivia]

Originally Posted by Black Jack22

But guess what?

It's the women who are attracted to these jerks and bad boys in the first place.

It's the woman's fault she was attracted to a jerk in the first place while ignoring the good guys, right?

Women are also supposed to put their husbands as a first priority.

But the the problem is that men pay most of the bills in most marriages and they work longer hours than his wife, there is no reason why he is not supposed to be getting regular sex.

It's not always the man's fault.

A lack of sex in marriages is a growing issue especially on the wives not giving their husbands enough sex.

Hello Jack,

I know this is an old thread, and I found it while researching this very subject.

He said/she said. It's good to have both perspectives. Each of us have a unique outlook because we deal with life circumstances differently. Both past and current environments along with values, common ground/interests with partners and many other things influence our thought patterns and actions.

I was raised without a father. This made it challenging to know what I was looking for when it came to finding a mate. My mother was abusive so I married a man I didn't love to escape. After being beaten for a couple of years, I divorced him. When children are abused many will seek out abusers as an adult. Big mistake, but it's how we were wired, formed mentally in childhood. Having a low libido was normal for me until about three years ago. I really don't know what happened to me but now it is very high. Perhaps some sort of chemical change? For women, I think trust, gentleness, loving acts and words play a large part on whether they respond to a male sexually. Though my libido is soaring I have not dared to participate in sex for many years. It's a fear thing, being afraid I'll choose the wrong one again.

Most women I know are nurturers. We cook, clean, love away hurts and hold full time jobs. When we've finished our workday at the office or plant, we come home and cook, and take care of a multitude of other household chores while being a referee between the children. We are the last to sit down at the dinner table because we serve everyone else first. Then there's bath time for each child, afterwards making sure each has their homework finished and a hour or so television or other family activity (we played allot of board games too). My children are grown now, those days are gone.

Perhaps the problem is that we forget to make one another feel special like we did while dating. We settle into our married roles and just "take care of things". The romance disappears because we no longer romance each other. There are many other reasons love fades in relationships. I have no concrete answer for all of them, I don't think anyone does. There's one last chance at love, and for certain, I'll be extremely cautious before jumping-the-broom again.

And yes, a married couple should place one another first. Pleasing your partner will only amplify your own pleasure. If that means being sweet and caring, then be sweet and caring. Find out what it is she/he responds to not just in the bed but other areas too. Is it cooking his favorite meal (is it giving her a break from cooking)? Is it taking showers together? Flowers? A date night once a week?

I hope that each of you have happy, healthy relationships and grow old with the love of your life.

[toohotformyowngood]

Im 34 my husband is 30 . We have always had a great sex life ! Eleven years later at 34 years old my sex drive is uncontrolled lol all I can think about is him. I feel like im sexually attacking him I can't get enough of him. No one else ! His eyes , his smile, his ass, his ummm everything! I'm wearing him out! (PROBLEM!!!) He now feels he don't satisfy me. So not the case !!!! What is going on with me ?

[alaskaboy]

Men these days have higher estrogen levels coursing through their blood then ever before and lower Testosterone levels. It's due to the American diet and toxins we use. Men's sex drives rarely keep up with women who have high drives these days. Read any forum on sexual topics and it's clear. Women everywhere complaining their guy does not want enough sex. And this stuff is starting in their early twenties. It's a mess.

Most healthy women, especially in this day and age will want sex as much as ever well into their 50's. Most men, by age 50 are ok with it once a week or less. Sad but true. It's natures joke on us all.

[usamathman]

Originally Posted by alaskaboy

Men these days have higher estrogen levels coursing through their blood then ever before and lower Testosterone levels. It's due to the American diet and toxins we use. Men's sex drives rarely keep up with women who have high drives these days. Read any forum on sexual topics and it's clear. Women everywhere complaining their guy does not want enough sex. And this stuff is starting in their early twenties. It's a mess.

Most healthy women, especially in this day and age will want sex as much as ever well into their 50's. Most men, by age 50 are ok with it once a week or less. Sad but true. It's natures joke on us all.

Speak for yourself buddy.

[Frihed89]

The answers here are highly distorted due to self-selection bias, at the very least.

Here's a review of papers on the topic: http://www.hawaii.edu/hivandaids/The...n_Women__A.pdf

Also Look at: JAMA Network | JAMA | Sexual Dysfunction in the United States: *Prevalence and Predictors

Here's a summary from a random sample of around 1500 females (from the second reference). All of those sampled had had sex with at least 1 partner in the last 12 months (Table 1):

1. Lacked interest in sex:
age groups
18-29: 23%
30-39: 32%
40-49: 30%
50-59: 27%
2. Unable to achieve orgasm:
age groups
18-29: 26%
30-39: 28%
40-49: 22%
50-59: 23%
3. Experienced pain during sex:
age groups
18-29: 21%
30-39: 15%
40-49: 13%
50-59: 8%
4. Sex not pleasurable:
age groups
18-29: 2%
30-39: 24%
40-49: 17%
50-59: 17%
5. Anxious about performance:
age groups
18-29: 16%
30-39: 11%
40-49: 11%
50-59: 6%
6. Trouble lubricating:
age groups
18-29: 19%
30-39: 18%
40-49: 21%
50-59: 27%

[moxiegal]

I'm 53 and I have a VERY healthy libido! But then, I have high testosterone levels and have always had a very high sex drive.
Not all women function the same. Everyone is different. Some have health issues, or develop them, and they lose their libido.
By "very high sex drive"...I mean daily..or 2x a day...or more

[ishe]

Originally Posted by Black Jack22

But the the problem is that men pay most of the bills in most marriages and they work longer hours than his wife, there is no reason why he is not supposed to be getting regular sex.

I have to BOLD the word "most marriages" in your quote. Because 'most' does NOT means 'ALL'; there are marriages that in the 'minority', I'm one of those 'minority' marriages.

I admit, my husband work longer hours than me. He have 2 jobs, and I have 1 job. BUT there NO such thing as man pay most of the bills in our marriage.
I can't speak for others marriages, but I speak for my own marriage. No marriages are the same, different strokes for different folks.

Financially, me and my husband are capable of walking out of this marriage anytime. We both are Financially independent.
When we dated, I always split 50/50 on dates him, or one date I pay, next date he pay.
If he got a problem with my Financial independent style, then please don't date me. There plenty of other fishes in the sea for him. I'm not the only Asian-American girl that come across his life. Given his "Street smart", I'm sure there other options out there for him.

When we married, I continue insist on keep our Financial separate. I insist on we keep separate Checking/Saving accounts.
"man" or "woman", we both are capable of working to support ourselves.
IF one day one of us fall sick or get lay off for couples months, then that is when we use our 'Saving' account. Of course, we will helps out each others when day comes. But until then, we work to save money for emergency/rainy days.

Our Rent/Mortgage is this month I pay, next month he pay. All our household Bills are split equally too.
Now before you say I bully my husband, I'm not bully him.. His income is MORE than me; so I insist on it being this way, he is the one that benefits more.
Being equal on financial is how we are for the 4 years together, and still is. We NEVER argue about money, there nothing for us to be argue about.

In our marriage, there such things as the 'man' pay for everything, or the 'man' pay for most bills.
Myhusband will not argue with me just because I'm his wife and I insist on 50/50, and as a man soon to be 30 year olds, he have no problem with taking care of his own financial/money.


And the sex, I am 30 years old, my husband is 29 years old. He have higher sex drive than me.. As his his wife, whenever he wants sex, I give him sex. I was raise in my traditional Chinese culture that as a wife, I should not reject my husband when he initiate sex.

Until 2016, he working 2 jobs, everyday he working 12-14 hours. I'm sure he is tired.. So when he home, I thought he only have the energy for shower, eat and sleep. But boy I'm wrong. He still have the energy for sex.
Example like when he back from work, sometimes when I miss him, I hug him from behind and say his name, and uh.. that alone lead to sex.
Just a hug alone from me-his wife and he get turn on for sex. He probably just have high sex drive.

My husband also likes to kiss alot. Everytime when I cook late for him, when I prepare put food out on the table. He always grab my hands and kiss both of my hands.
So rather his sex drive is high again, or he appreciate his wife cooking, lol


And regards sex drive changes in women. I think it all depends on the individual woman, some women just have higher sex drives than others women. Just like some women are more sexually experience than others women.

LOL!! at the "masturbate' comment.
To be frank, I don't even know what is masturbate. I only know about it when I had access to the Internet. I saw people post in Forum about something called 'masturbate', so I look up the dictionary for the meaning of that word. That how prude I am. I dont' touch myself, I'm like a nun when it come to sex.

Regarding sex, I only know it from have sex with my husband. He always take the lead in bed and I just follow his lead.
Does he mind his wife is sexually inexperience? Nope! or else he wouldn't got married. I bet all he cares is as long as he can get off everytime, and there a wife for him to have sex with when he have the urges, then it all good.

[Ginge McFantaPants]

Don't let those sensible shoes fool you, nuns probably masturbate, too. Random anecdote: back in the day, I used to work for a maid service, and one of our accounts was a convent. Three things I saw there surprised me, because they seems a bit... incongruous:

1. A well-stocked liquor cabinet
2. Dozens of cans of Aquanet
3. A tube of lubricant on a nightstand

With that said, get down there and have some fun. That's what it's there for.

Originally Posted by ishe

LOL!! at the "masturbate' comment.
To be frank, I don't even know what is masturbate. I only know about it when I had access to the Internet. I saw people post in Forum about something called 'masturbate', so I look up the dictionary for the meaning of that word. That how prude I am. I dont' touch myself, I'm like a nun when it come to sex.

[alaskaboy]

Originally Posted by usamathman

Speak for yourself buddy.

Strike a nerve or what? That post was a general statement based on science. I.E. facts based from numerous studies. Sperm counts, testosterone levels decreasing, estrogen level rising in men these days. Main reason why men even as young as their 20's are losing their sex drives. Low T and high E will kill any sex drive at any age.

As for me, "speaking for myself" I'm far from age 50, have a free T level of 890 E of 12.8 and a sex drive that all but one woman I've ever been with can't keep up with. My body fat is 8% and I workout daily.

THIS was the point of my response here. Men reaching middle age need to get their A** in shape and stay there, or lose everything sexually. It was not a threat to you or my speaking for myself.

[Naomi Manischewitz]

I'm 30 and my sex drive is at the highest it has been since I first became sexually active. I actually read something online that research says that technically a woman's sex drive doesn't get higher due to hormones from age, it's because she is more confident in her skills and basically stopped carrying about being "good enough". I was a lot more self-couscous about my skills in my mid to late 20s than I am now.