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would you be happy if you were given an eternity of this?
No, I would not be. Many times death/oblivion looks very inviting to me.
Much of my life is quite dull and routine, as I imagine a good majority of people's are. Trips back east, hiking, inspirational movies, books, quality time with relatives and friends... those things break up the dull moments and give me something to live for.
I can't say that all of it makes up for the negatives. I wish I could say it did, but I would not be saying it with an honest heart. More often than not my soul is empty. We all have this void inside of us--some choose to fill it with religion, relationships, material things, etc. For a little while now (perhaps several months), I have had this feeling of a calling to a spiritual life--as I see time and again how things of this world do not satisfy me as they did in prior times. I in no way hold allegience to any sentient being claiming to be a god: organized religion has always had a false ring in my heart and though I deeply respect religious moral teachings, I cannot accept with an honest heart its doctrines (though I've tried in the past).
Yet the only thing these past several months that has given my mind and heart any sense of peace is spirtual contemplation--a god which is to me nature itself, positive and negative energy. I find myself being drawn ever more toward minimalism, a monastic way of life, an appreciation of the positive forces in life, and respect for the negative. The understanding however is that living this way will not protect me or anyone else from the negative energy--things will happen as they will, free will is an illusion, and all our destiny is in some mystical way already written (yet not by some sentient being who is pulling the strings one way for the "good" people and the other for the "bad"); the choice of this sort of life has to be made because this is a preferred way of living.
Am I filling the void within me with these sort of beliefs? Of course I am. I have tried to live in acknowledgment of it, and not doing much about it; yet I have found this is nearly impossible for me. Maybe it is for others as I am reminded of somewhere where I've heard or read of non-religious people looking down on religious people for "filling the void" with religion. I have been one of those. Yet I cannot deny this yearning that I have. I imagine I have yet to figure out exactly what it is. My thoughts are often nebulous and difficult to elaborate in any specific terms. A vague goal for me is to find a smallish agrarian group with service ties to a community, who hold beliefs similar to mine, yet without the religious doctrines; I don't hold out any large hopes for this.
In conclusion, life has its bright points, but I am often melancholy and disenchanted with materialism. I suppose I can also throw in my fixation with a previous time period which colors nearly all my view-points, but that would be a whole other long, convoluted essay and this is suppose to be a conclusion. So therefore, no--an eternity in this life is definitely not for me.
I don't beleive God gave people capabilities to do anything anymore. We are all just basically living one day to the next: some people have good luck while others are sh*t out of luck. There is no mystery to it all. It dawned on me one day: there must not be any God. Because if I were a god: I would not be making people go through some of the crap they go through, then when they ask for help ignore them. Stringing them along, that if they withstand all the crap now, there's some prize at the end in store. Who does that? With faith or without faith looks to me, people are experiencing the same things either way. So what's the point?
Yes, a loving god wouldn't ignore our pleads for help and wouldn't stand idly by while innocent people suffer, whether from natural disasters or from diseases. That's one of the reasons why I don't believe in any gods, especially the God of the Bible. Praying to God doesn't get anything real accomplished (US government has proven this with their several million dollars worth of research, courtesy of our taxes). The only thing prayer can do is give some people hope and then rejoice when, by chance, their prayer comes true (likely because they or some other person, like a doctor, worked to make it happen).
As an atheist, I find comfort in humanity itself. There are a lot of good, caring people in this world. Some misguided ones as well, but that's life, to take the good with the bad. Surround yourself as much as possible with caring, positive people and stay busy doing things you enjoy, whether it's fulfilling a longtime dream or just taking your dog for a walk at sunrise/sunset and marveling at the beauty of nature. It really can help make a difference with your outlook on the world.
there are some days i wish it could last forever and on some days i think..i hope it ends real soon.
Which is normal. I've never met anyone who enjoys suffering. I think life is good, but will be much better when death is no longer hanging over every living thing.
it's not irritation, it's frustration that I can't seem to get anything to go right, regardless of how hard I try. I am fed up with trying and now say 'to hell with it all'.....In a way I think people that volunteer for those reasons are the worst kinds of people. They want to do it so they can look at another person and say 'look at that poor bastard; I thought I had it rough....' . I just don't feel like that is the "point" of volunteering, nobody wants to be pitied like that, used as some kind of example on how not to exist. On the other hand, I do understand what you mean. I truly do wonder how some people keep on going. I am at a loss personally and see no point anymore.
I've often heard and I personally believe that some of us have to go into a very painful dark night of the soul before God delivers us from despair. For example, I suffered from what felt like unbearable depression for many years - I really felt like my mental state and my dark thoughts would literally kill me. I'm very happy to have come out of it and into the sunshine. I think it was all for a purpose - to make me understand life in a deeper way. Some of the most spiritual people I know of have suffered very deeply in many ways. I don't think we can grow without the contrast. Like in the natural, a seed must be buried in the ground and given time and water before it germinates. If you just laid the seed on the top of the ground in the sun (even if you gave it water) it would never sprout into a green living thing, and of course it would never bloom or produce fruit either. I think we are like that. The scriptures say that we are.
I've often heard and I personally believe that some of us have to go into a very painful dark night of the soul before God delivers us from despair. For example, I suffered from what felt like unbearable depression for many years - I really felt like my mental state and my dark thoughts would literally kill me. I'm very happy to have come out of it and into the sunshine. I think it was all for a purpose - to make me understand life in a deeper way. Some of the most spiritual people I know of have suffered very deeply in many ways. I don't think we can grow without the contrast. Like in the natural, a seed must be buried in the ground and given time and water before it germinates. If you just laid the seed on the top of the ground in the sun (even if you gave it water) it would never sprout into a green living thing, and of course it would never bloom or produce fruit either. I think we are like that. The scriptures say that we are.
How much is too much though? You really feel like it was all for a purpose, right? But aren't you kinda pissed off about having to be taught a lesson or w/e in such a way that you suffered for years? I'm sorry, but I have started to have negative thoughts toward God over the whole thing. Now I feels very guilty over it. but dragging something on for years & years to teach a person a lesson, just seems cruel to me.
How much is too much though? You really feel like it was all for a purpose, right? But aren't you kinda pissed off about having to be taught a lesson or w/e in such a way that you suffered for years? I'm sorry, but I have started to have negative thoughts toward God over the whole thing. Now I feels very guilty over it. but dragging something on for years & years to teach a person a lesson, just seems cruel to me.
That's exactly why I don't believe in a god any longer because a true, loving Creator would not allow all this suffering, disease, starvation, etc. etc. to go on like it does. There's got to be something out there, but maybe it is just a collective consciousness and we all become one in the end. But I'm done believing in fairy tales and myths and the bible god, it's ludicrous. We're on our own here.
I don't pray. I'm an atheist. But I love life and I get a lot out of doing things both for myself and for others.
Do you like your work? If so, your office skills can be used to volunteer too. Schools, in particular, can use someone to help teachers with copying or organizing things.
What about working out? (not sure of your health, but working out keeps me healthy and also keeps me positive about myself). Do you like to ride a bike? walk? swim? Anything that keeps your body active might help.
What about reading? (I love to read all kinds of things - I learn a lot about different subjects through reading). If not reading, what about educational programs on the tv? Learn from NOVA on PBS or any other program that you happen to enjoy. Using your brain will help keep you positive too.
You mentioned that you have aspergers syndrome. You might want to find an online group of aspies to interact with. Usenet has Alt.support.autism and you can read there through google groups although it is less active now than it used to be. There are other forums online that can give you some social interaction with others who think the same way you do.
I am stuck in this therapy office, because of work insurance issues. Anyways, she is my 2nd or 3rd therapist from this office and IMO, self esteem and CBT therapy are all B.S. None of them work or hold relevance (ok it might work for some people, but not for everyone)....Anyways, you have a lot of actitives I guess for which you feel gives you a purpose in life. I am not knocking it, just I think some people have no purpose at all. I feel if they did, they probably would've figured it out by now. Like you, I love to read and go for walks but to me that doesn't really 'do' anything in my life. It is just is, if that makes sense. The only aspie group in my area is for parents with children who have autism. But I will check out the google groups and use net groups that you mentioned. TY
No, I would not be. Many times death/oblivion looks very inviting to me.
Much of my life is quite dull and routine, as I imagine a good majority of people's are. Trips back east, hiking, inspirational movies, books, quality time with relatives and friends... those things break up the dull moments and give me something to live for.
I can't say that all of it makes up for the negatives. I wish I could say it did, but I would not be saying it with an honest heart. More often than not my soul is empty. We all have this void inside of us--some choose to fill it with religion, relationships, material things, etc. For a little while now (perhaps several months), I have had this feeling of a calling to a spiritual life--as I see time and again how things of this world do not satisfy me as they did in prior times. I in no way hold allegience to any sentient being claiming to be a god: organized religion has always had a false ring in my heart and though I deeply respect religious moral teachings, I cannot accept with an honest heart its doctrines (though I've tried in the past).
Yet the only thing these past several months that has given my mind and heart any sense of peace is spirtual contemplation--a god which is to me nature itself, positive and negative energy. I find myself being drawn ever more toward minimalism, a monastic way of life, an appreciation of the positive forces in life, and respect for the negative. The understanding however is that living this way will not protect me or anyone else from the negative energy--things will happen as they will, free will is an illusion, and all our destiny is in some mystical way already written (yet not by some sentient being who is pulling the strings one way for the "good" people and the other for the "bad"); the choice of this sort of life has to be made because this is a preferred way of living.
Am I filling the void within me with these sort of beliefs? Of course I am. I have tried to live in acknowledgment of it, and not doing much about it; yet I have found this is nearly impossible for me. Maybe it is for others as I am reminded of somewhere where I've heard or read of non-religious people looking down on religious people for "filling the void" with religion. I have been one of those. Yet I cannot deny this yearning that I have. I imagine I have yet to figure out exactly what it is. My thoughts are often nebulous and difficult to elaborate in any specific terms. A vague goal for me is to find a smallish agrarian group with service ties to a community, who hold beliefs similar to mine, yet without the religious doctrines; I don't hold out any large hopes for this.
In conclusion, life has its bright points, but I am often melancholy and disenchanted with materialism. I suppose I can also throw in my fixation with a previous time period which colors nearly all my view-points, but that would be a whole other long, convoluted essay and this is suppose to be a conclusion. So therefore, no--an eternity in this life is definitely not for me.
Just so you know I feel EXACTLY the same way as you. Let me know if A. You decide to write a book or a blog or something and/or B. You figure out the whole smallish agrarian group thing. I'd love to be a part of it.
Melancholic and disenchanted with materialism - could be the subtitle of my life over the last year or so. Not a bad title for a book either.
would you be happy if you were given an eternity of this?
This is not the same question as "do u like life?" I thought when I read the topic, "yes". I see life as a dress rehearsal so no, I would not want to go through eternity performing in a dress rehearsal. "Life", the quality, has been diminishing since the beginning of time to what it is now and I can't even think of what it would be like in 20 years but I surely would not want an eternity of life on earth. It would have been wonderful to start it all over again and not allow man free will and I am sure it would be a paradise and eternity would be sweet. Selfishness has been the earth's worst enemy.
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. I just don't feel like that is the "point" of volunteering, nobody wants to be pitied like that, used as some kind of example on how not to exist. On the other hand, I do understand what you mean. I truly do wonder how some people keep on going. I am at a loss personally and see no point anymore.
