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Assuming you have told them. I was raised by pretty religious, evangelical parents, but I didn't start questioning my faith until I was about 12. I said the 'prayer' when I was young, and again when I was about 15 'for real'. I got baptized when i was 20, even as my faith was see-sawing. Over time, however, my faith in the Bible/Biblical God/Christianity seems to be weakening, or at least moving away from the orthodox. At times I feel I have no faith or little faith. I still consider myself a Christian and a believer, although I don't know if I really deserve that title. Anyway I don't plan to totally abandon the faith, but have told my parents that I'm not sure I really believe anymore...they mostly say I need to humble myself, read the Bible more.etc, have a relationship with God. Maybe i'm an agnostic, I dunno, I guess I'm sick of forcing myself to believe, or at least believe strongly. When pushed, though, my mother has said that if that's the way I want to live (As if it's a choice) then maybe that's how it has to be for now. I think my dad takes for granted I still believe though...I dunno where I am, basically, but I'm clinging on to hope more than anything else sometimes. I think I'd feel a sort of emptiness if I didn't believe at all, and I doubt I'd ever become an atheist.
Anyway I'm just curious about people from very religious backgrounds who left the faith: either for agnosticism/atheism or another religion. Did your parents take it seriously? Did they fear for your soul? Did they keep trying you to return, or did they eventually accept it? Did anyone's parents actually say disown them or something? Did they suddenly think they were more sinful/wicked? I'm just curious more than anything...
My 18 year old son recently told me he doesn't think he believes in God anymore and that he was feeling adrift and afraid because he'd lost that anchor. He was nervous to tell me because his father and I did raise him in a very religious home.
He was shocked when I told him I've gone through the same thing in the last few years. I was a Christain who completely lost faith in any God. After a lot of time and thought and listening to both atheists and theists I came to see that although I could no longer accept much of what I'd been raised to believe ABOUT God , that didn't mean God does not exist. It was up to me whether or not I felt it was worth taking the time to explore that possibility. And I came to the conclusion that it is, based in part on the understanding that God = the source of our existence. Further, my conclusion is that the source of our reality could not be so small-minded as to punish people for not believing in it or not believing the "right" things about it. If it were, then it wouldn't be a God I could trust anyway, so not worth taking the time to know.
Of course, my son needs to come to his own conclusions. Among other things that I hoped would be helpful to him, the one thing I shared with him that I personally feel is most important is that I believe that, God or not, learning to be in this world in a loving way is essential to our (personal and collective) well-being. No matter what my level of certainty or uncertainty about the existence of a sentient God, that is always my anchor. If God does exist, then I would have to believe God's most worthwhile purpose as far as we are concerned is to help and guide us in that endeavor (which, for me personally, is the most important reason I have for taking the time to seek to know that God to the degree that I can). My son can obviously reject that as well, but I hope he will not.
Anyway, I wish you well as you work this all through for yourself.
Last edited by Pleroo; 10-02-2013 at 10:00 AM..
Reason: typo
My 18 year old son recently told me he doesn't think he believes in God anymore and that he was feeling adrift and afraid because he'd lost that anchor. He was nervous to tell me because his father and I did raise him in a very religious home.
He was shocked when I told him I've gone through the same thing in the last few years. I was a Christain who completely lost faith in any God. After a lot of time and thought and listening to both atheists and theists I came to see that although I could no longer accept much of what I'd been raised to believe ABOUT God , that didn't mean God does not exist. It was up to me whether or not I felt it was worth taking the time to explore that possibility. And I came to the conclusion that it is, based in part on the understanding that God = the source of our existence. Further, my conclusion is that the source of our reality could not be so small-minded as to punish people for not believing in it or believing the "right" things about it. If it were, then it wouldn't be a God I could trust anyway, so not worth taking the time to know.
Of course, my son needs to come to his own conclusions. Among other things that I hoped would be helpful to him, the one thing I shared with him that I personally feel is most important is that I believe that, God or not, learning to be in this world in a loving way is essential to our (personal and collective) well-being. No matter what my level of certainty or uncertainty about the existence of a sentient God, that is always my anchor. If God does exist, then I would have to believe God's most worthwhile purpose as far as we are concerned is to help and guide us in that endeavor (which, for me personally, is the most important reason I have for taking the time to seek to know that God to the degree that I can). My son can obviously reject that as well, but I hope he will not.
Anyway, I wish you well as you work this all through for yourself.
Interesting. I can't imagine my parents reaching the same state as you...I think when you're so invested in a belief you try to explain away issues you have with the Bible. Sometimes I wonder if they can even fathom what it's like to doubt, to truly doubt, and the fear of hell, since living in that limbo between faith and belief is pretty distressing. I reject any sort of idea of eternal torment, especially since Jesus himself says that most will be destroyed (which I reckon to mean totally destroyed). If God intended most people to suffer forever, let alone burn for all eternity in some 'Lake of Fire' while Christ and the angels and the saints watched on in some grotesque spectacle, then would he be good? what would a loving God even get out of such sadism?
But yes, I've re-evaluated my beliefs about God too...i've re-interpreted the Bible, and I guess tried to repair my image of God from childhood as a stern wrathful deity waiting to punish sinners.
I got off easier in that I was in my 40's when I deconverted and lived far from my parents and they weren't so virulent that their faith was a constant conversation topic. By the time I was willing to self-identify as an atheist they were dead.
It's harder when you're younger in part because you are somewhat new to adulthood and (rightly, I think) are hesitant to be very assertive with your elders anyway.
I think the best approach is to be honest about your thoughts and feelings and let the chips fall where they may. I have heard other unbelievers share that their parent's response is denial and the persistent belief that their unbelief is a "phase" that they will "outgrow" at some point. If this is their defense posture, then allow them their illusions, just as they are allowing you what they regard as your illusions.
If your parents punish or reject you, or you fear that they will, and you're young enough to that you're partly dependent on them, then it's possible that discretion may be the better part of valor. There's nothing wrong with being pragmatic. But part of that pragmatism includes how much pain living a lie costs you.
Pieroo: Great response to your son and your best shot at keeping him open to theism. You're a good Dad :-)
My dad didn't care. He's not very religious. My mom saw me as an extension of her and so it kind of offended her. The thing is, I still believe in God and talk to Him more so now than when I was a church going Christian so it wasn't that big of a deal.
Also, my family isn't "American" so my experiences tend to be of a different nature I think.
Interesting. I can't imagine my parents reaching the same state as you...I think when you're so invested in a belief you try to explain away issues you have with the Bible.
Well, as a life-long very dedicated Christian, coming from generations of life-long dedicated Christians, I was pretty dang invested, trust me. And yes, I did try to explain issues away. But when I couldn't, I had to face it.
But I understand what you are saying. I'm not young, but my parents are both still living. When I first began to broach some of the questions I was wrestling with to them some years ago, it wasn't pretty. They were angry that I would even allow myself to ask such questions and they shut me down immediately.
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Sometimes I wonder if they can even fathom what it's like to doubt, to truly doubt, and the fear of hell, since living in that limbo between faith and belief is pretty distressing. I reject any sort of idea of eternal torment, especially since Jesus himself says that most will be destroyed (which I reckon to mean totally destroyed). If God intended most people to suffer forever, let alone burn for all eternity in some 'Lake of Fire' while Christ and the angels and the saints watched on in some grotesque spectacle, then would he be good? what would a loving God even get out of such sadism?
Just so you know, there is a third school of thought in Christianity, other than eternal torment and annihilation, which is Christian Universalism. It's something you may want to research. Some people who hold to that belief are very orthodox Christians, otherwise. Some are less so.
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But yes, I've re-evaluated my beliefs about God too...i've re-interpreted the Bible, and I guess tried to repair my image of God from childhood as a stern wrathful deity waiting to punish sinners.
Those of us who were raised and indoctrinated with the idea of a wrathful God have had a lot of repair work to do. I'm happy for you that you have been able to escape it at a fairly young age. Although my husband still believes in hell, I have done my best to buffer that teaching for my own children. And fortunately, my husband is not a fire & brimstone kind of guy, so he doesn't shove it down their throats.
Assuming you have told them. I was raised by pretty religious, evangelical parents, but I didn't start questioning my faith until I was about 12. I said the 'prayer' when I was young, and again when I was about 15 'for real'. I got baptized when i was 20, even as my faith was see-sawing. Over time, however, my faith in the Bible/Biblical God/Christianity seems to be weakening, or at least moving away from the orthodox. At times I feel I have no faith or little faith. I still consider myself a Christian and a believer, although I don't know if I really deserve that title. Anyway I don't plan to totally abandon the faith, but have told my parents that I'm not sure I really believe anymore...they mostly say I need to humble myself, read the Bible more.etc, have a relationship with God. Maybe i'm an agnostic, I dunno, I guess I'm sick of forcing myself to believe, or at least believe strongly. When pushed, though, my mother has said that if that's the way I want to live (As if it's a choice) then maybe that's how it has to be for now. I think my dad takes for granted I still believe though...I dunno where I am, basically, but I'm clinging on to hope more than anything else sometimes. I think I'd feel a sort of emptiness if I didn't believe at all, and I doubt I'd ever become an atheist.
Anyway I'm just curious about people from very religious backgrounds who left the faith: either for agnosticism/atheism or another religion. Did your parents take it seriously? Did they fear for your soul? Did they keep trying you to return, or did they eventually accept it? Did anyone's parents actually say disown them or something? Did they suddenly think they were more sinful/wicked? I'm just curious more than anything...
I left Catholicism and became a Christian when I was 20. My parents were hurt at first, as it obviously made them feel like they hadn't done their job to raise me in the church. My grandmother was pretty upset about it. I wonder what she'd think if she knew I was a pastor now. My dad has made peace with it, and has told me he's proud to see me serving as a pastor.
I left Catholicism and became a Christian when I was 20.
So I guess this would be a veiled attempt at saying Catholics aren't Christians? You just never miss an opportunity, do you, Vizio?
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