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It reminds me of the Alcoholics Anonymous community. Once you've been there for a while, know a lot of people, have professed your dedication to the program and so forth, it's very hard to leave. I'm not saying they coerce you into staying; what I'm trying to say is that there's a heavy social cost placed on the group if you leave, so heavy that a lot of people simply stay regardless of having dropped their personal belief in the program. After all, you have all these friends who believe you're headed to "Death, Institutionalization or Jail" if you stray from their core beliefs.
It's like that with religions. How do you officially leave your religion when all your friends believe that doing so will send you to eternal torment? Additionally, no one wants to be the dissenting voice that ruins the group vibe by exposing it's fallacies.
I think you'd be surprised by how many continue to attend church despite private unbelief.
I also agree. Another factor is the family. In my case, my wife is very devout and I am a fairly new atheist, who was as devout as my wife when we were married. Once you add family and children into the equation, leaving becomes even tougher.
I like the mellow vibe, the coffee and donuts, and being amongst others in a safe setting.
If you're afraid of the potential backlash from not going to church, fear not. Yes, a few people might feel saddened at first, but eventually they'll move on with their lives and not give it a second thought.
once they get enough money and can afford to leave they will
It is not just a matter of money, or even often IMO unless maybe you are a young person forced to play along to get along until you are financially independent. Even there, what's the root cause? Social pressure, particularly from family. Family, cultural, ethnic expectations ... the implicit or explicit threat of marginalization or outright ostracization in their many forms. The withdraw of love, social support, acceptance, companionship.
Then there is the whole issue of hellthreat, fear of disapproval or persecution, fear of various kinds of temporal and non-temporal forms of retribution.
The fear of losing perceived moral anchors and becoming morally degenerate.
Vulnerability to guilt and shame, and all the guilting and shaming tactics that can come from church, family and society toward non-conforming members.
General inertia. The fear of destabilizing one's family, particularly one's own children. Fear of rocking the boat.
What is the theme? Fear, guilt, shame, loneliness. Religion is great at manipulating the human condition.
I like the mellow vibe, the coffee and donuts, and being amongst others in a safe setting.
That's how I feel about going to AA.
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