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I'm sure most of us have given a thought or two to this.
What kind of service, if any, do you want when you pass away? Do you want 'the works' to be administered at your place of worship and then a procession to the cemetary accompanied by your dear friends and relations? Do you prefer something a little more modest administered by your clergy? Or would you prefer none of the above and just an expeditious arrangement where survivors can do whatever they want in memory of your life and relationship to them? Maybe you have some other thoughts?
I am an avid kayaker. I have requested of my SO that I be cremated and my ashes dumped in the headwaters of our "home" river so I can run the whole thing one more time.
If she goes first she wants to be buried in a local natural preserve, biodegradable casket, no embalming, etc.
We both are appalled by the common embalming + casket + whatever that waterproof metal box thing they bury people in.
No services, no words, just the necessities. There is nothing to be said.
e: Maybe this Mark Twain quote:
It comes at last - the only unpoisoned gift ever had for them - and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence; where they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and a failure and a foolishness; where they have left no sign that have existed - a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever.
Funeral rituals are for the living, not the dead. My survivors can do whatever comforts them. I will not care, at that point, one way or the other. Also, even now, I do not visualize some particular observance or practice that I imagine would validate my existence in some way, or extend for even a few days, my footprint in the land of the living.
I am the youngest of four boys -- the youngest by a full decade -- and I will likely be the person to turn out the lights on my family tree. I suppose this has conditioned me to expect to die as I was born and as I have lived -- alone. And that's okay. Everything else is ultimately illusory, anyway.
I'm setting aside several thousand dollars for a big party.
There will be no service but I would expect/hope a few folks will say nice things about me. (That should be possible because I'll have paid for all the booze and food.)
I'll be cremated and will keep my sons busy scattering ashes. There are three water bodies whose secrets I've plumbed for 40+ years. I want some of me left in each.
I want to be cremated, and if we're still living in the Seattle area, I'd like to have my remains scattered in Puget Sound. I don't want a viewing or a memorial service of any kind. I'd prefer for everyone I knew to go out for a nice dinner or something.
I'll be having a paddle out. Early in the morning surfers wearing leis or carrying flowers in their teeth (beyond cool) paddle out into the ocean and make a circle with their boards. They sit on their boards and people have a chance to say a few words or share a memory. Prayers are said. Then everyone places their flowers on the water's surface, joins hands then raises them towards the sky. Some chant or call out a goodbye. Then they drop their hands and splash the water. Then... they surf.
Just a few weeks ago I mentioned where I wanted my paddle out to be (off the pier of my favorite childhood beach) and my son said, "Surf's better at Huntington." I told him I'd try to ask God for good waves.
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